Hidey Thread 492: Must There Always Be A Witty Tittle?
POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 19, 2009 03:53
VIEWED: 16399
PAGE 5 of 15
That was you? The voices in my head convinced me you were someone else...
Sorry about that. Won't happen again.... 
Zoe: "Get it running again."
Mal: "Yeah"
Zoe: "So not running now"
Mal: "Not so much"
- Out of Gas
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That's what my voices keep saying. But here I am again, matches and all. *sigh*
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Quote:
Originally posted by RIPWash:
Aw . . . c'mon guys! It was just starting to get fun!!!
And then somebody lost an eye.
David
'Geeks can't admit that anything worthwhile was invented before 1981. Soon, "making cocoa" will be called "milk hacking."' - Lore Sjoberg
http://xkcd.com/386/
"Don't worry. Captain Hammer will save us." - Penny.
I has myspace - http://www.myspace.com/daveshayneforpresident
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Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHI-T (Special High Intensity -Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHI-T it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHI-T, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHI-T you can take.
Regards
Management
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Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHI-T (Special High Intensity -Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHI-T it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHI-T, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHI-T you can take.
Regards
Management
Wow.... Sexual abuse humour... classy.
To others,
Smile, laugh. share.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jadehand:
Wow.... Sexual abuse humour... classy.
Do you have a problem with me or something?
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Today's xkcd 
it won't give you a virus.
David
'Geeks can't admit that anything worthwhile was invented before 1981. Soon, "making cocoa" will be called "milk hacking."' - Lore Sjoberg
http://xkcd.com/386/
"Don't worry. Captain Hammer will save us." - Penny.
I has myspace - http://www.myspace.com/daveshayneforpresident
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where have all the fishies gone??
To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.
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Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
where have all the fishies gone??
To school. Except I already sorta used that one.
David
'Geeks can't admit that anything worthwhile was invented before 1981. Soon, "making cocoa" will be called "milk hacking."' - Lore Sjoberg
http://xkcd.com/386/
"Don't worry. Captain Hammer will save us." - Penny.
I has myspace - http://www.myspace.com/daveshayneforpresident
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Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
where have all the fishies gone??
We got distracted with the whole pushing someone off a boat with an anchor tied around them thing.
Do you want me to post more fishy absurdities?
Don't know if I can come up with more
I felt all alone in my silliness at the end there.Zoe: "Get it running again."
Mal: "Yeah"
Zoe: "So not running now"
Mal: "Not so much"
- Out of Gas
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