A Theory of Namecalling
POSTED BY: HKCavalier
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 18, 2004 10:12
VIEWED: 3802
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I used to live with a wonderful little boy named Simon. I remember one night when he was about three, he, his mom, and I were taking a walk. Simon would not stop needing his mom to fuss with his coat. "I'm too hot...I'm cold...the collar's itching me...I don't wanna wear it...can I wear my coat again, mommy...the zipper's all weird...etc." His mom was getting plenty frustrated and couldn't understand why he couldn't just make up his mind or something. But I realized something that night. It occured to me that Simon wasn't rationally discussing his body temperature and trying to mannage it. Simon really just wanted his mother to fuss over him a little bit. he wanted her to kneal down and put her face right up to his, and muss up his hair and matter a little bit more than usual to his mom. And he wasn't consciously manipulating her, either, he was faced with a need (his mom's attention) and was throwing out all the phrases that had gotten the desired response in the past (+ some new ideas that came to him that night, e.g: "the zipper's all weird").
I mention all of this because I was thinking about how a few posters on this board really like to call people names. Other well intentioned posters go to great lengths to explain why namecalling really doesn't get the desired effect. But, you see, they don't understand the true intent of the namecalling any better than Simon's mom knew why her son could not get comfortable. Calling people names gets their posts responded to. Calling people names makes other people worry about them, extend extensive well-intentioned "aid" and makes them a force people (begrudgingly) reckon with.
HKCavalier
Hey, hey, hey, don't be mean. We don't have to be mean, because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
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Though I am a student of psychology and sociology in no more than an armchair capacity, I would guess that your hypothesis is very correct. I would think message boards, chat rooms, etc. allow people to work out their attention needs in a "socially acceptable" way. The anonymity offered here allows them to ask for attention (even negative attention) in a way that is more or less acceptable, and free of real repercussions. These behaviors would be met with much graver consequences in everyday real life.
There's actually a Master's Thesis floating out there somewhere on the net about the effects of online anonymity on a person's behavior. Check it out here
http://www.msu.edu/user/trescami/thesis.htm
Well played, Mr. Cavalier.
You got a wife? All I got is that dumbass stick sounds like it's raining.
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Quote:
HKCavalier wrote:
Saturday, May 15, 2004 10:05
I used to live with a wonderful little boy named Simon. I remember one night when he was about three, he, his mom, and I were taking a walk. Simon would not stop needing his mom to fuss with his coat. "I'm too hot...I'm cold...the collar's itching me...I don't wanna wear it...can I wear my coat again, mommy...the zipper's all weird...etc." His mom was getting plenty frustrated and couldn't understand why he couldn't just make up his mind or something. But I realized something that night. It occured to me that Simon wasn't rationally discussing his body temperature and trying to mannage it. Simon really just wanted his mother to fuss over him a little bit. he wanted her to kneal down and put her face right up to his, and muss up his hair and matter a little bit more than usual to his mom. And he wasn't consciously manipulating her, either, he was faced with a need (his mom's attention) and was throwing out all the phrases that had gotten the desired response in the past (+ some new ideas that came to him that night, e.g: "the zipper's all weird").
I mention all of this because I was thinking about how a few posters on this board really like to call people names. Other well intentioned posters go to great lengths to explain why namecalling really doesn't get the desired effect. But, you see, they don't understand the true intent of the namecalling any better than Simon's mom knew why her son could not get comfortable. Calling people names gets their posts responded to. Calling people names makes other people worry about them, extend extensive well-intentioned "aid" and makes them a force people (begrudgingly) reckon with.
HKCavalier
What a DUMBASS!!!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Calhoun:
What a DUMBASS!!!
LOL! I love you too!
HKCavalier
Hey, hey, hey, don't be mean. We don't have to be mean, because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
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Everyone who has posted in this thread is guilty of bringing attention to themselves and purposefully enticing responses.
We could include a discussion about anger and pain and social pecking order, and what it means to "put someone down" and why there is more than one reason to explain name calling.
Anyone interested? Yawn.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Succatash:
Everyone who has posted in this thread is guilty of bringing attention to themselves and purposefully enticing responses.
We could include a discussion about anger and pain and social pecking order, and what it means to "put someone down" and why there is more than one reason to explain namecalling.
Anyone interested? Yawn.
I hear they peck pretty hard around here.
SergeantX
"Dream a little dream or you can live a little dream. I'd rather live it, cause dreamers always chase but never get it." Aesop Rock
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Yeah, I have a few scars, LOL.
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The only time I call someone names is when they're askin' for it.
SergeantX
"Dream a little dream or you can live a little dream. I'd rather live it, cause dreamers always chase but never get it." Aesop Rock
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Will you please call me a name?
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