RE: RE:

POSTED BY: AdamStevenson
UPDATED: Monday, July 21, 2008 14:20
VIEWED: 7826
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ADAMSTEVENSON

Thursday, July 17, 2008 4:25 PM

OK I've been going off the rails a bit and I need some help with dialogue that I wrote in a script. This is like a challenge. I will post in Script form what a guy just younger than you or your character will say. And I would like you to come up with an implusive reply. keep in mind that you like(take like anyway you want) this guy, have just met and you have decided to spend the whole day with him. The best ones I will use in my script.

This is not for the faint hearted and it came to me while under the influence.

INT. SMALL LIBRARY - DAY

A girl and ADAM enter a small Library they sit in at a table in a corner facing each other, there is no one else in the library.

Their eyes meet never leaving each other.

ADAM
This is who I am. Tennis and Terminator shows keep me up at night, I have these memories of my childhood and what the bullies did to me and what the teachers said to me, it still effects me. I feel age bearing down on me and I’m only 21, I have these crazy thoughts about hurting people and
(beat)
Rape.

ADAM (cont’d)
I have no life, spent time trying to fight the system when I have nothing outside of the system, internet, MSN, TV that’s all I have. I sit alone drinking in my room cursing the world and society all the while voices in my head mostly from films with questions or quotes then i hear a softer voice and it keeps taunting me with the same fucking question.
(beat)
What does it mean to be human?

ADAM (cont’d)
(As he starts to cry)
And I don’t have a clue what it means, not one. And i see my friends getting on with there lives, dating and I think why can’t I be like them? Why do I cry myself to sleep some nights? Why do I daydream about a life of frame and problem free relationships instead of doing something about it?

ADAM (cont’d)
Its because am not like them at all, I’m different and I’m not special like my parents used to say I’m something else I worry about bullshit that no one else cars about and I think of crap that could drive people crazy
(As he has a quick look around)
like what is this place, you, me what does it all mean? Does it mean anything?

A door banging alerts the two that someone else has enter the library indicating that time is short.

ADAM (cont’d)
And amist all of this is a aching feeling because I don’t know if I’m a good guy or a bad guy.
(starts to laugh out loud but it has a sad tone)
In a world where I believe in only black and white I may be the only grey area I can accept.
(beat)
One of the worst things is that I have always wanted to tell you this. Before I knew anything about you, Just when I first saw you and learned your name I wanted to open up to you and let all of it out. Upon you.
(beat)
Now what does that make me?

If living was as easy as dying, we wouldn't bother

FREELANCERTEX

Thursday, July 17, 2008 5:26 PM

well.. hm...how does the scene *start*? i mean, cuz the first line says "ADAM (cont'd)" so how did this whole thing start? why's he talkin about it? and when u say *JUST* met, like ten minutes ago or ten days ago? i'll help where i can ^_^

ADAMSTEVENSON

Thursday, July 17, 2008 9:20 PM

lol soz I used to have a voice over but must have deleted it and forogt to delete the cont'd my bad.

Just met as in they know each other in passing but a few hours ago is when they have just started to get to know each other.

I'll edit my mistakes.

If living was as easy as dying we wouldn't bother

TILLIESONG

Thursday, July 17, 2008 9:40 PM

I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand what it is you're trying to do; do you want a person of the specified gender and age to write the dialogue, or do you want the dialogue in the language of a person that age and gender?

Do you want other people to do your writing for you?

Are you trying to find out which posters to the thread fit into those categories? If so, why?

ADAMSTEVENSON

Thursday, July 17, 2008 9:48 PM

Yes I want someone of pacific gender and age to write a reply to the dialogue I have set out as that is the age the character will be and I want a gut character reaction to the dialogue with as little editing as possible.

Its a personal thing, like a experiment with writing that I'm trying plus this kind of writing helps me get my feelings out.

If living was as easy as dying we wouldn't bother

FREELANCERTEX

Friday, July 18, 2008 2:31 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AdamStevenson: lol soz I used to have a voice over but must have deleted it and forogt to delete the cont'd my bad.

Just met as in they know each other in passing but a few hours ago is when they have just started to get to know each other.

I'll edit my mistakes.

voice over? like his thoughts in his head?

gotcha

lolz dont worry im editing ur mistakes already XD how long of a response r u looking for? or just whatever comes out on paper? :-P

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Friday, July 18, 2008 2:55 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AdamStevenson:
OK I've been going off the rails a bit and I need some help with dialogue that I wrote in a script. This is like a challenge. I will post in Script form what a guy just younger than you or your character will say. And I would like you to come up with an implusive reply. keep in mind that you like(take like anyway you want) this guy, have just met and you have decided to spend the whole day with him. The best ones I will use in my script.

This is not for the faint hearted and it came to me while under the influence.

INT. SMALL LIBRARY - DAY

A girl and ADAM enter a small Library they sit in at a table in a corner facing each other, there is no one else in the library.

Their eyes meet never leaving each other.

ADAM
This is who I am. Tennis and Terminator shows keep me up at night, I have these memories of my childhood and what the bullies did to me and what the teachers said to me, it still effects me. I feel age bearing down on me and I’m only 21, I have these crazy thoughts about hurting people and
(beat)
Rape.

ADAM (cont’d)
I have no life, spent time trying to fight the system when I have nothing outside of the system, internet, MSN, TV that’s all I have. I sit alone drinking in my room cursing the world and society all the while voices in my head mostly from films with questions or quotes then i hear a softer voice and it keeps taunting me with the same fucking question.
(beat)
What does it mean to be human?

ADAM (cont’d)
(As he starts to cry)
And I don’t have a clue what it means, not one. And i see my friends getting on with there lives, dating and I think why can’t I be like them? Why do I cry myself to sleep some nights? Why do I daydream about a life of frame and problem free relationships instead of doing something about it?

ADAM (cont’d)
Its because am not like them at all, I’m different and I’m not special like my parents used to say I’m something else I worry about bullshit that no one else cars about and I think of crap that could drive people crazy
(As he has a quick look around)
like what is this place, you, me what does it all mean? Does it mean anything?

A door banging alerts the two that someone else has enter the library indicating that time is short.

ADAM (cont’d)
And amist all of this is a aching feeling because I don’t know if I’m a good guy or a bad guy.
(starts to laugh out loud but it has a sad tone)
In a world where I believe in only black and white I may be the only grey area I can accept.
(beat)
One of the worst things is that I have always wanted to tell you this. Before I knew anything about you, Just when I first saw you and learned your name I wanted to open up to you and let all of it out. Upon you.
(beat)
Now what does that make me?
If living was as easy as dying, we wouldn't bother

ageist

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

FORSAKEN original

ADAMSTEVENSON

Friday, July 18, 2008 10:49 AM

Yeah whatever comes out on paper as long as the female character doesn't storm out on the male character then I guess anything goes. Sorry if I am ageist or whatever but I guess its like a writers audition and am looking for a female writer who falls into that age group.

But I'll make it up to the rest of you with another challenge browncoats honor.

If living was as easy as dying we wouldn't bother

FREELANCERTEX

Friday, July 18, 2008 5:13 PM

lolz i actually wasnt planning on having her storm out :-P cuz that wouldnt be sumthin i'd do (i'm weird)

FAITHLOVESPURPLE

Friday, July 18, 2008 6:13 PM

Is this for a class or something? Or just for the hell of it? Is this just to get a gist of what the girl would say, or will you put it in your own words later? Just wondering.

Anywho, here's my shot. It was a bit tough without rearranging some of the dialogue...because, I mean, there are some places where I would interrupt, but there wasn't much freedom with playing around with that.

INT. SMALL LIBRARY - DAY

A girl and ADAM enter a small Library they sit in at a table in a corner facing each other, there is no one else in the library.

Their eyes meet never leaving each other.

ADAM
This is who I am. Tennis and Terminator shows keep me up at night, I have these memories of my childhood and what the bullies did to me and what the teachers said to me, it still effects me. I feel age bearing down on me and I’m only 21, I have these crazy thoughts about hurting people and
(beat)
Rape.

GIRL
(says nothing, taking in what he just said. Gives a slight nod to continue the explanation.)

ADAM (cont’d)
I have no life, spent time trying to fight the system when I have nothing outside of the system, internet, MSN, TV that’s all I have. I sit alone drinking in my room cursing the world and society all the while voices in my head mostly from films with questions or quotes then i hear a softer voice and it keeps taunting me with the same fucking question.
(beat)
What does it mean to be human?

GIRL
We all have problems, dark days, bad thoughts. Life isn't easy, you know? But there's good things out there--you just have to get them. Your life is what you make of it, and drinking won't help. Friends...friends can help too, if you let them.

ADAM (cont’d)
(As he starts to cry)
And I don’t have a clue what it means, not one. And i see my friends getting on with their lives, dating, and I think why can’t I be like them? Why do I cry myself to sleep some nights? Why do I daydream about a life of (fame?) and problem-free relationships instead of doing something about it?

GIRL
(puts a tender hand on his shoulder)
It's okay...don't cry... I don't know what else to say about that--we all go through tough times. Hell, I'm not exactly where I want to be either. What's holding you back from getting those things? Why do you think you have to dream about a good life instead of actually having it?

ADAM (cont’d)
It's because I am not like them at all, I’m different, and I’m not special like my parents used to say. I’m something else--I worry about bullshit that no one else cares about and I think of crap that could drive people crazy
(As he has a quick look around)
like what is this place, you, me what does it all mean? Does it mean anything?

GIRL
It means plenty. And what...what things do you think about?

A door banging alerts the two that someone else has entered the library indicating that time is short. **Mm..this part doesn't quite make sense. Rephrase? Maybe something like, "indicating the departure of privacy, and a signal to cut the discussion short"?**

ADAM (cont’d--ignoring her question)
And amidst all of this is an aching feeling because I don’t know if I’m a good guy or a bad guy.
(starts to laugh out loud but it has a sad tone)
In a world where I believe in only black and white I may be the only grey area I can accept.
(beat)
One of the worst things is that I have always wanted to tell you this. Before I knew anything about you, Just when I first saw you and learned your name I wanted to open up to you and let all of it out. Upon you. **Upon her?...**
(beat)
Now what does that make me?

GIRL
Um. I don't know. It's a little weird, honestly, but...
(chooses to dismiss the creepy sentiment)
I don't mind listening. I'm a good listener, so, feel free. But..
(looks at the person who had just entered)
...maybe we should take this somewhere else?

**I fixed a bit of the grammer mistakes. If you need help with editing or collaborating, I wouldn't mind ;) I'm actually a writer as well, and welcome an excuse to help another writer!**

--Faith

"I can't

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