Murder by Snow Shovel
POSTED BY: Fremdfirma
UPDATED: Sunday, January 3, 2010 12:20
VIEWED: 3650
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MURDER BY SNOW SHOVEL.
(Fair Warning: This is a rant and almost certain to be both profane and offensive, you have been warned...)
You know, I used to think it was their own fault when I heard of folks droppin dead shovelling snow, usually and most likely the elderly or folks in poor health.
That was, till I became a homeowner.
Now, we've gone rounds on this issue, but the last straw for me was this weekend, and there *WILL* be hell to pay just as soon as I can physically manage it, even as I sit here, bleary-eyed from pain and fatigue the hate is the only thing keepin me goin...
Does it make sense to shovel snow WHILE it's snowing ? like, repeatedly ? instead of doing it ONCE when that shit stops ? but nooooooo....
Fuckin city bangin on my door early in the mornin, and I work nights remember folks, makin all manner of dire threats of fines and whatnot, so I figure do it and shut them the hell up...
Mind you I have a corner lot, and 1/3 acre so that's TWO walks, TWO porches, sets of steps and a goddamn wheelchair ramp that needs be done as a cherry on top, and thanks to the missus buying "american made" we have a snowblower that worked exactly ONCE before fragging the engine in such as manner as to leave even me unable to fix it cheaper than replacement...
And as you know I gotta prosthetic leg which doesn't fit well cause there's so much damage and am in poor health besides, but fuck it, the missus is out of town, most services want 1/2-2/3 the price of a new snowblower to even do this ONCE, and there aren't any neighborhood kids on this side of the main drag I can bribe... so fuck it, I do it, sure...
And then, bleeding from the tattered stump, wheezing and trembling from fatigue, collapse on the living room couch for a few minutes... darkness falls like a ton of bricks...
*bangbangbangbangbang*
WTF, can't people leave me ALONE, what the fuck do they want, oh joy, it's that ASSHOLE from the city again, I rip open the door and ask him what the fuck do you want NOW, and he starts into his spiel and I hand him the shovel and tell him fine, YOU FUCKING SHOVEL it then.
I crawl, literally, crawl, at this point, to my wheelchair and try to make coffee, but I cannot reach the cabinet, cause I can't stand up right now...
*bangbangbang* FUCK!
And there he is again, with a cop this time all ready to write a citation, who suddenly changes his mind about it when he realizes who he's dealing with, cause he knows damn well how badly wrecked my body is, having practically carried me home one night I collapsed as we were trying to help some folk during that huge blackout*.... he tells mister city person that since I already DID make a good faith effort to shovel it today, he ain't citing me for shit.
*SLAM*
And away they go...I call in, no way I can drive tonight... and then pass out again...
*BANGBANGBANG*
And guess who it fucking is, nice and too damn early in the blasted morning and what do they want ? and yes it's still snowing...
I tell him, ONE time today.. ONCE - and if I ever see him again on my property, imma call the state police to remove him, cause he ain't welcome here no more...
I wind up having to wrap a compression bandage (and overtight, too) around the tattered, bleeding stump to get it into the socket, and I feel dizzy and am starting to see shit that isn't there out the corner of my eyes, but I get to doing it, at a few points having to do so on my knees cause the pain is too awful to stand and you know, actual pain control for once would piss off those DEA jackboots and we can't have that can we *hisssss*!
My neighbor, apparently somewhat anarchic himself and sharing my views on privacy to the same extreme, apparently caught some bit of that while fueling his snowblower, cause he ran it to the edge of his yard, and then down the front walk of mine without so much as a nod or glance in my direction, followed by an obscene gesture in the general direction of the city offices as he shut it off and rolled it away - guess we know where he stands on the matter..
I
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Damn.
That is an interesting question; no one expects you to dig out out the street along the side of your house, but it seems a universal requirement that if there are sidewalks along your house, you must shovel them. Strange... if there are no sidewalks along your house, folk are just expected to walk in the street, whatever their condition.
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Solution: Move to Wisconsin...
http://www.lwm-info.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7B3D81D4D8-D07F-4F
D5-B668
-712D8C578AD1%7D&DE=%7B47A387CC-9EED-4ECC-AA72-D81AC1C55736%7D
(note, space added to help window width)
Edit: I suppose you could also find out if you are legally required to have a sidewalk along your property, and if not, have it removed.
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Thanks for reminding me why I moved to Florida. Every year about this time I miss the Winter for a fleeting moment, then I read a story like yours and my fond memories of Winter disappear for another year.
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Gotta love all this global warming, eh? 
"Hillary tried to get a million dollars for the Woodstock museum. I understand it was a major cultural and pharmaceutical event. I couldn't attend. I was tied up at the time." - John McCain
It is not those who use the term "Islamo-Fascism" who are sullying the name of Islam; it is the Islamo-Fascists. - Dennis Prager
" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "
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Quote:Not quite murder, Frem, they don't want you dead, just nearly. They need our money AND our dancing to their citation bullets.
Originally posted by Fremdfirma:
It's fucking murder.
This is a perfect example of why I say this society and government are so screwed up...
Feel better, man.
Chrisisall
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We have the same law here, but the city also provides snow-shoveling services for those who are unable to do so (although it's not very well advertised). Any chance your city has something similar?
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That's terrible! Can the city guy not see that you're exhausted and in pain? He's a meanie. Thank goodness the cop recognized you (I don't thank goodness for cops very often). Even if he hadn't, I think you'd have a good case for dismissal. Naflm's suggestion is good, perhaps there is a city service available.
All I have to offer is a virtual cup of hot cocoa and a spare ace bandage. I hope you feel better tomorrow. *wishes for a warm and relaxing night's rest for Frem*
---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
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They'll be reimbursing me.
It got... interesting
After walter and his secretary, the school blank check fiasco, and various other issues, noteably that damn sports car for the police dept, the city council doesn't care for me too much...
But I tellya, hearing the assistant mutter "Oh no, it's him again.." from the other side of the door with a sincere and honest dread in his voice as my doc pushed my wheelchair up did amuse me, politicians SHOULD fear their constituents, cause that is who pays them and who they answer to - but only when we *MAKE* them do so.
Basically a lotta wailing and gnashing of teeth, especially after one of the older codgers threw a racial remark at my doctor, who happens to be of middle eastern descent, and he blew his stack on the guy - being second generation and a full born-here american citizen, and a well educated doctor, he lit him up gooooood, and it kind set the tone of how that little discussion went.
They won't assist nor add service for handicapped folk cause it's "not in the budget" and didn't care for the idea (proposed by me) of selling that stupid police sports car or taking a pay cut for it, and I laughed in their faces when they suggested adding a tax millage, pointing out just how much of that is usually siphoned into their slimy criminal pockets, and oh gee, isn't it just too bad walter isn't here to catch his share, and I notice you're short one secretary, yes ?
They WILL pay me 75% of the lost wages from this crap, or I'll do worse than sue, I'll take it to arbitration and not only hit them for this, but to get back my share of all the money looted by the two mentioned above, followed by a full and complete audit of the cities budget and spending practices and the permanent enlistment of an independant oversight board drawn from the citizens and paid for by a 10% cut of city official wages across the board.
When I tossed the arbitration firms card across the desk, it was game, set and match on the spot, they know damn well I've seen both sets of books, know where they are and what's in em, but no one wants to push the issue cause of all the expense, trouble and hassle that would come of it, not the least of which is our whole police department collapsing - and while I wouldn't care, the locals wouldn't like it too much.. yet.
Lotta folks PO'ed about that stupid sports car, and that's gonna haunt em for a while, believe it, given that it's a mustang saleen S281 which cost about $45,000.00 USD... to patrol a town which is maybe ONE square mile in total area and has maybe 3000 people in it, when they're all here at once.
Guess the cops got a woody watching that Transformers movie or something...
Anyhow, they'll be payin up, but will continue to bitch seeing that in their opinion, one really ought to own a snowblower if they live here, and I didn't bother to point out that mine is in the garage with a broken flywheel pin (of a size no one seems to make) fouled, underjetted carb, incorrect spark plug of the wrong length (came installed like that) and no one knows what the correct size is, and possibly a bent crank from when the pin failed...
Needless to say, imma get a used Honda model and strip that "american made" (in mexico, from canadian parts 
) piece of shit for spare parts, if any of em even pass QC.
My docs assessment is that I will be out for a month and more, all the medical jargon aside I ripped my stump almost to the bone, tore out a couple muscles in my back and sprained the knee on the good side quite severely.
Not the best end result, but as good as it gets, I guess, no pain control cause my doc is afraid his ethnicity would make him an easy target for the rabid DEA jackboots, and I dunno what imma do not having or being able to DO anything physical for near a month, guess we'll find out.
-Frem
It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it
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Well, I'm jumping up and down cheering that you took it to `em! That jackass could have spent less time and effort clearing your walk for you than he did harrassing you over it. Oh - but that would require human decency, rather than a power trip. Jerk. When I lived in Boston folks had 24 hours after the storm to clear their sidewalks. I can't imagine it's much different where you are. This guy clearly just wanted to make himself feel big by getting all over you.
If you ever talk to your neighbor who cleared your walk, tell him a random stranger wants to kiss him! If I was anywhere near, I'd have come and shoveled for you. Better use of my time than what I did over the weekend!
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hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left
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