Imponderables-Changes in the Wind
POSTED BY: MSB
UPDATED: Monday, November 26, 2007 19:45
VIEWED: 16930
PAGE 4 of 13
NVG: you hick! :D
I just hope you're not talking about riding naked too...ouch!
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Naw, off roading in el pickup truck. Seems Ginny likes to get out for nice slow rides in dirty out of reach places and I'm more than happy to oblige. Seems I like to have extra company out in the desert so...
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Gotta git to my prevention group here in a bit. Hope to hear from y'all later. Seems I might be about doing payroll this weekend.
(Practices hyper active robot hugs for later)
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Hey all. Could use some hugs today. I've mentioned before that the industry I work in is 90% male, and that it's often an uphill battle to get any sort of respect as a woman. I also have very few role models to look up to -- no woman has done what I want to do, professionally. But there are a few women whom I really look up to, and who are doing things now that I hope to incorporate into my career someday.
Today I found out that one of the only women in this industry that I idolize -- strike that, the only woman in this industry I want to be anything like -- has had the entire hill we've been fight up fall down on top of her. She is in a high-profile position. She worked many, many years to get to that position (I worked in the same office as her when I was just starting out, and was in awe then, too). She's very talented. She's also very pretty. She is lead on a high-profile project, so her company decided that she would be the one to do press interviews. Just the same as thousands of men before her.
Except that since she's a woman, and pretty, she gets called a whore and a slut. There's no way a pretty woman could possibly be qualified for her position, right? It's gone beyond name-calling on the internet now, though. I just found out that some d
d out there made a pornographic "web comic" using her name, likeness, and product name. Straight up pornographic, as well as demeaning and derogatory. I've never seen her with so much as her shoulders uncovered, but because she made the mistake of being an attractive woman in this industry, there is now cartoon porn of her out there on the internet.
So I'm pissed, of course. I'm trying to think of a way to contact her and say "I've always looked up to you, you totally don't deserve anything like this, they're all a bunch of assholes." I might get a mutual friend to send some sort of message along for me. But I'm also feeling more than a bit disheartened. That is what I would have to deal with if I can go as far with my career as I want. I love my job and hate every other form of employment I've ever considered, but with this it's only barely worth it.
~CK
You can't take the sky from me...
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CK that totally sucks. I really can't say that I know how she feels or how you feel for that matter. To me internet idiots are just that and I would mostly try to ignore them. Though I'm not sure if that's the only people giving her a hard time.
All I can say is never let the jerks of the world stop you from going after your dreams. That's exactly what their comments are trying to do. Isn't living well said to be the best revenge? Maybe that's the right line of thinking here.
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CK - that SUCKS! And for the pricks that are taking that kinda attitude aren't real men, or boys, or even worth the space they occupy. As a man, personally I cringe at the whord "whore" or other such words. And no one should assume that someone got to the top by neferious means. Grrr, stuff like this makes me unhappy to be male, I don't want to be lumped into the "male" population.
What profession do you work in, btw? I'm curious.
EDIT: And absolutly you should let her know you look up to her. It will let her know that the whole world isn't against her, and you might end up with a mentor or even a friend.
"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense." - Mark Twain
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Thanks for the support guys. ((Hugs)) Gorram, I actually have a Non-Disclosure Agreement that prevents me from saying what I do for a living, heh. The industry is high enough profile that even in my lowly position, I have quite a few Google hits on my name, and I've never even done an interview. So my close friends and family know what I do, but with people who don't know me personally, I'm suppose to keep quiet. And only my closest family members know what I'm working on (that has its very own NDA).
I do think I will email her, if I can figure out how to get her email address. I'm a member of a group for women in my industry, and some other members there have gone as far as to say that she is partially to blame for the comic, for putting herself out there like that. Hopefully she's getting more support to her face, at least. 
~CK
You can't take the sky from me...
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(Edit)
Quote:*eHug* Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry. =(
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Hey all. Could use some hugs today.
...
Today I found out that one of the only women in this industry that I idolize -- strike that, the only woman in this industry I want to be anything like -- has had the entire hill we've been fight up fall down on top of her.
...
Except that since she's a woman, and pretty, she gets called a whore and a slut. There's no way a pretty woman could possibly be qualified for her position, right? It's gone beyond name-calling on the internet now, though.
I know what it's like to work in a male-dominated profession, though I suspect it's much easier for me, since it's not exactly "high profile."
I think, though, that this is the most important thing:
Quote:In my mind, there are always going to be two "up-hill struggles." The first being internal, the second being external, as it relates to the company and position itself. The internal struggle is getting peers, colleagues, and management to recognize the fantastic abilities that are equivalent to - if not superior than - your male peers. This, I think, is the only one anyone ever has any hope of winning, as it's a much smaller scale. It allows you to pursue your career, advance, and branch out to improve yourself... aaaand collect a paycheck while you're at it.
She is in a high-profile position. She worked many, many years to get to that position (I worked in the same office as her when I was just starting out, and was in awe then, too). She's very talented. She's also very pretty. She is lead on a high-profile project, so her company decided that she would be the one to do press interviews. Just the same as thousands of men before her.
The second - the external struggle - is the one you have no hope of winning. Ever. It's a battle of perceptions, old prejudices, and egos. People outside your company or profession, who will never actually see the hard work you put in and the results of that hard work, will always see only what they want to see. There will always be assholes. There will always be the unbelieving, insecure, callous cocksuckers who don't know or care how hard you work or how far you've come or how well you've done at your job; their only function is to try to bring you down in order to make themselves feel even the tiniest bit better. This is a fact of humanity that no one will be able to change.
Confusing these two, I think, is quite detrimental, as the first you can change and the second you cannot; fighting against something you cannot change will only bring you down physically, mentally, and emotionally. (Which is what I've been doing my entire career, so... you know... do as I say, not as I do *snikker*)
So, considering that this She of yours has risen to the top to lead an apparently important project and was chosen by Her company to be the face of things... I'd say she's won the internal up-hill struggle: She's made her impression and proven to her peers, colleagues, and management that She can do her job so damn well, and they trust her to do it. That, to me, is the most important. Fuck everyone else. To me, She's succeeded and even though what pigfuckers may be saying about her is shit, it shouldn't deter you or Her and it shouldn't make you think that you're losing.
(And if She's of the inclination, regarding some of the more malicious Interwub pr0n using her name and image, She could always seek the opinion of a Lawyer {libel, defamation, or whatever the proper term would be}.)
I hope some of that made sense......
...
OH! Also! Zeek is completely wrong (see below), obviously. I've figured out what you do for a living. You are the American, female version of Q from James Bond, and you rock. Really, it is the only reasonable conclusion. ^^
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Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Gorram, I actually have a Non-Disclosure Agreement that prevents me from saying what I do for a living, heh. The industry is high enough profile that even in my lowly position, I have quite a few Google hits on my name, and I've never even done an interview.
I figured it out!! CK is in the CIA! It's obvious that she...wait a second. Hmmm some big guys in suits and sunglasses are pounding on the door. That's odd it's night time what do they need those sunglaaa......
I, Zeek, do hereby affirm that I am in no way under the impression that CK is a member of the CIA.
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((Hugs)) HK. Thank you, you are completely right. I try to focus mostly on that internal fight, and remind myself often that I tend to have it pretty easy, as both my father and my husband work in the same industry. It helps me work with the men better, I think. 
At the same time, I do think there are small gains to be made in the external fight. That group that I mentioned, for women in this industry, is focused on doing what we can in the external fight as well as the internal fight. We have made some gains. Our percentage has doubled in the last 15 years (from only 5%!), and we've almost completely won the fight against "girly posters" in the work place. We work to get girls interested in our industry, and college women to seriously consider it as a career. And every now and then, it looks like the public is growing up a bit, and then something like this happens. I had high hopes for this situation in particular, because She does have such an impressive resume, and has always been very modest and classy in the way she dresses and carries herself. She's not the sort who would ever pose for Maxim or whatever to get attention as a pretty girl in a 90% male industry. And like I said, if I idolize anyone I idolize her, so this hit me a bit hard.
But you are right: she won the internal battle, and is obviously successful and respected by her coworkers. If that is real respect, something like this won't make them lose any respect for her at all. And I guess you have to have thick skin if you're going to be in any sort of high-profile position -- you can't worry about what some goon on the internet says or draws. The whole thing just sort of knocked the breath out of me. And the other women in our group backbiting and saying that maybe she deserved it because obviously she must have sought out all this attention really got to me. Women who are supposedly behind the cause of advancing both the internal and external fights questioning whether she is actually qualified for a position like that. Disgusting IMO (and I told them so!).
Her company has already served at least one Cease and Desist on her behalf, and I think she might have a defamation case against the "artist". I don't know where the line between public and private figure is legally, but this is some loser in his parents' basement, even bringing the suit against him would be justice, I think.
As far as what I do for a living, the small bit of work I have done for the government has been a bit more, uh, theoretical. Theoretical and first application at the most, not field ready. But "spinning mirror" jokes (5 points if you can name the movie) abounded during those dev cycles.
And if I was Quette, wouldn't I work for the CIA? Q = British = MI6. Quette = American = CIA?
Thanks guys, feeling much better in general now.
~CK
You can't take the sky from me...
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