Here's a thought. . .

POSTED BY: Static
UPDATED: Friday, April 16, 2004 05:09
VIEWED: 6887
PAGE 2 of 3

yeah, I agree with this too:
I think the closest Joss will come is a show from River's POV (which can get a little wacky)
and/or a dream sequence from someone's (Mal's?) POV
But in both Angel & Buffy the excuse was a magical spell...there could never be any such excuse on 'Firefly'...

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Well, this wouldn't be all the much of a leap - but what about a showdown episode? Straight on show-down with tumbleweed and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly whistling-type music all in sepia tones? With of course people accidently walking out onto the street and then scrambling back indoors.

Sure, we sort-of had a show-down in Jaynestown, but I'm talking classic western Gary Cooper High Noon main street type action.

addendum
And Zoe could wear the dress this time!

****
I know your name, Jackass.

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Don't know that I can ever see it actually happening, but . . .

An old foe of Jayne's turns up, having heard there's a Jayne Cobb on Serenity. To hide out, Jayne does the old thing he can -- pretends to be a woman. (Since Jayne is a girl's name, even if he does have man parts.)

Like I said, can't quite see it happening, but really fun to think about.

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Oh, the answer was so clear, but I couldn't let it go. I just had to write the whole teaser for the show. Curse you!


TEASER

INT. SALOON - NIGHT

It's a typical saloon on a fringe world, but the kind that caters to men who suddenly come into money. The clientale fits, with miners paying in some kind of raw ore and gamblers and whores seeking to relieve them of any excess. The place is boisterous with music, dancing, whooping, and hollering. A stage can be seen to the back with red velvet curtains.

We follow a WHORE in a dress of the same red velvet as she walks towards the front door where we see MAL, ZOE, WASH, JAYNE, KAYLEE, and SIMON, who appear to have just entered.

ZOE
(to Mal)
Sir, are you sure we should be this public so close to Shanzi's territory?

MAL
For the last time, relax. Y'all did good back there, and you deserve a little R&R. Ain't no way anyone ID'd us, so we're shiny.

JAYNE
(aside to Zoe, as the whore comes up to him with a seductive smile)
Mal's the captain. You really need to learn not to question his orders.

Everyone turns to look at Jayne incredulously. Jayne is engrossed in the attributes of the whore and doesn't see.

JAYNE
See you later.

(to whore, as he walks off)
Do you know how to do the Palastinian Somersault?

SIMON
It's amazing. He never progressed beyond three basic needs; food, shelter, and sex.

WASH
With shelter being optional.

MAL
Let's just get a table. First round's on me.

KAYLEE
Ooo, I want something fruity with a little tiny umbrella in it.

MAL
(walking off towards the bar)
I'll ask if they have that.

Zoe, Wash, Simon, and Kaylee walk over to a table with chairs for six. Wash pulls out a chair for his wife, but Zoe takes a different seat that has its back against a wall and obvously showing she has a good view of the room. Wash rolls his eyes and sits in the chair he pulled out while the others sit as well.

WASH
Curse my failed etiquette. Always pull a chair out for a lady... but only after making sure it's in a defensible position.

ZOE
(sighing)
Honey, I just want to be safe... so we survive to have sex tonight.

WASH
Ah, once more you assuage my bruised ego with your carnal promises, woman.

SIMON
(obviously uncomfortable)
Look, there's going to be a (Chinese: shadow puppet play.)

WASH
Did I ever tell you about my foray into the honored tradition of (Chinese: shadow puppetry.)

ZOE KAYLEE SIMON
Yes! Yes! No.

Kaylee and Zoe both glare at Simon.

WASH
Well, it all started in...

Mal walks up with a tray of drinks. One of which is made out of a hollowed pineapple with a strawberry impaled in the top with a small umbrella.

MAL
Drinks are here. What are you guys talking about?

Mal begins handing out drinks. Kaylee is obviously thrilled at hers.

ZOE
(taking her drink)
My husband was just beginning to regale us with his shadow puppet stories.

MAL
(to Wash coldly)
No. No, he wasn't.

The lights in the room dim and the lights on the stage brighten as Mal sits in the empty seat beside Zoe, also back against the wall with a good view of the room.

KAYLEE
Oh, look, the show is starting.

The others grow quiet and focus on the stage. Zoe leans in to Mal.

ZOE
Sir, are you sure this is safe?

MAL
Zoe, seriously, for the last, last time, no one has any idea we were involved in the trouble on De Liang.

Cut to the PLAYMASTER standing on stage. He is Chinese and in traditional Chinese dress but speaks with a touch of a Southern accent.

PLAYMASTER
Tonight we will be presentin' a brand new play based on current events called... The Trouble at De Liang. And now, Act 1, Serenity's Arrival.

Cut back to table as everyone's head turns towards Mal. Zoom in on Mal.

MAL
Huh.

The next two Acts are performed in shadow puppet style telling the story of what occured on De Liang with the actors voicing their own characters.

"Wacky fun..."

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LOL,
I love that idea!

Maybe you should finish up that story a la fanfic.
I was getting all into it there.

Hack the planet!

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Quote:

---

Originally posted by Zurn:
Black and white detective noir would be shiny! Great idea!

---

Here's the real reason we'll never get a noir episode, black and white or otherwise:

Because my head would explode seeing everyone dressed in the future version of pinstripes and fedoras. Just saying that is making me a bit woozy.

I do love me some noir.

"You're usin' wiles on me!"

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One word:

Tribbles

Wash: "Wacky Fun"

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Tribbles would be a more probable type of episode we'd get. Humor is definently important to the show but I just feel like an all musical episode or a show where everyone has to speak in iamic pentameter is not subtle enough for Firelfy.

I'm sure Joss could prove me wrong by somehow managing to weave together an over the top humored show that is believeble, funny, tastful and still manages to remain true to the show. I just can't imagine it right now.

Jaynestown was serious and still really funny though. :O)

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Besides...... I understand Tribbles have smallish droppings.

=======================
Mal: "Is there blubber?"

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I'll echo the shadow puppet idea.

What I'd really like is an animé-style episode (like Farscape's "Revenging Angel" but without the silliness). See, 'cause it's animé, you can get away with less silliness than Farscape's Looney Tunes takeoff.

It'd also fit the whole Oriental motif. Just make it someone's dream (probably Jayne or Book, 'cause that'd be funniest).

Hell, the chance to see Kaylee as the kawaii bishoujo we all know she is (big, watery eyes and debilitating cuteness) would most definitely make it all worthwhile.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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