The best five dollars I ever spent

POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Monday, April 26, 2004 23:59
VIEWED: 5252
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ROCKETJOCK

Sunday, March 21, 2004 7:52 AM

Ahem.*

"I'll be in my bunk." -- Jayne Cobb

*Footquote: "When correctly viewed, everything is lewd." -- Tom Leher

RocketJock

KALIMEERI

Sunday, March 21, 2004 11:44 AM

You, sir, have a smutty mind. This is a legitimate ... cough ... invention...
People LOVED those.

Jen dao mei.

LISSA

Sunday, March 21, 2004 10:12 PM

shiny. just shiny.

~lissa, spwhore

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 3:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by epressman617:
To TeelaBrown:
just wondering, but are you familiar with Tom Lehrer?

That's where I got it from. I love Tom Lehrer! Had my new "Tom Lehrer Rivisited" CD, and I couldn't resist.

Tom Lehrer rules!

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 3:43 AM

Quote:
*Footquote: "When correctly viewed, everything is lewd." -- Tom Leher

"I could tell you things about Peter Pan, and the Wizard of Oz there's a dirty old man!"

I love Tom Lehrer. My sister hates him, and I have no idea why...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EPRESSMAN617

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 7:10 AM

Yeah, people either love him or hate him........It's the same offbeat humor as Firefly. Some people just don't get it, but I love it.

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon
When we're poisoning
Pigeons in the park...

------------------------------

Take your cigarette from its holder
and burn your initials in my shoulder
Fracture my spine, and swear that you're mine
As we dance to the masochism tango.

------------------------------

Our old mess sergeant's taste buds had been shot off in the war.
But his savory collations add to our esprit de corps.
To think of all the marvelous ways
They're using plastics nowadays.
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!

------------------------------

I hold your hand in mine, dear, I press it to my lips
I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips
My joy would be complete, dear, if you were only here,
But still I keep your hand as a precious souvenir

The night you died I cut it off; I really don't know why
For now each time I kiss it, I get bloodstains on my tie
I'm sorry now I killed you, for our love was something fine
Until they come to get me I shall hold your hand in mine

--------------------------------

Guess that's enough for now........

Book: I'd forgotten - you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now.
Simon: No, but I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 1:47 PM

Quote:
Our old mess sergeant's taste buds had been shot off in the war.
But his savory collations add to our esprit de corps.
To think of all the marvelous ways
They're using plastics nowadays.
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!

My favorite verse. Actually, the song in general:

Our captain has a handicap to cope with, sad to tell.
He's from Georgia and he doesn't speak the language very well.
He used to be (so rumor has)
The dean of men, at Alcatraz!
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!
____________
Ah, but I got it from Agnes
Or maybe it was Sue
Or Millie or Billie or Gillie or Willie,
It doesn't matter who
It might have been at the pub,
Or at the club or in loo,
And if you will be my friend,
Then I might...(Mind you I said "might:)
Give it to you!
_____________
Plagiarize!
Let no one else's work evade your eyes!
Remember why the good lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize!
Only be sure always to call it "research:
______________
And when at last the police came by,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin!
And when at last the police came by,
Her little pranks she did not deny.
To do so she would have had to lie,
And lying, she knew, was a sin, a sin,
Lying, she knew, was a sin.

My tragic tale I won't prolong,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
My tragic tale I won't prolong,
And if you do not enjoy my song,
You've yourselves to blame if it's to long,
You should have never let me begin, begin,
You should have never let me begin.
______________
So you look at the sixty-fours.

Sixty-four? How did sixty-four get in to it?
I hear you cry. Well, sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see? (Well you ask a silly question, you get a silly answer)
_______________
The Elements always satifys
_______________
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife,
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor balde of life.
Oh.
But as we go our sorted, sep'rate ways, we will ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.

Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth!
________________
Members of the corps
All hate the thought of war,
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means.
Stop calling it aggression
We hate that expression!
We only want the world to know,
That we support the status quo,
They love us everywhere we go!
So when in doubt, Send the Marines!
__________________
To end on a happy note, one can always count on Gilbert and Sullivan for a rousing finale, full of words and music and signifying nothing.

That I missed her depressed her young sister named Esther,
This mister to pester she tried.
Now her pestering sister's a festering blister,
You're best to resist her, say I.

The mister resisted, the sister persisted,
I kissed her, all loyalty slipped.
When she said I could have her, her sister's cadaver
Must surely have turned in its crypt.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!

But I love she and she loves me.
Enraptured are the both of we.
Yes I love she and she loves I
And will through all eternity!

See what I mean?
________________
That's all for now. Have fun!

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 2:00 PM

I also like:

You will all go to your respective Valhallas,
Go directly do not pass go do not collect 200 dollas.

EDIT: and...

And you may have thought it tragic
Not to mention other adjec-
-tives to think of all the weeping they will do
(But don't you worry)

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EPRESSMAN617

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 10:16 PM

For I hadn't had so much fun since the day
My brother's dog Rover
Got run over.

Rover was killed by a Pontiac. And it was done with such grace and artistry that the witnesses awarded the driver both ears and the tail - but I digress.

-------------------------------

I always will remember,
'Twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

------------------------------

The guy that took a knife
And monogrammed his wife,
Then dropped her in the pond and watched her drown.
Oh, yes indeed, the people there are just plain folks
In my home town.

------------------------------

You know, I think we've gotten a bit off topic here. Maybe we should start a new thread for this...............

Book: I'd forgotten - you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now.
Simon: No, but I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 10:44 PM

We should, but oh well. You ever heard L-Y?

You're a secret agent man
Who's after the secret paln.
How do you act so they don't know you're a spy?
(suspiciously)
Normally weak whistle, normally weak whistle, normal L. Y.
____________
So go to the city, see the crazy people there.
Like lambs to the slaughter,
They're drinking the water
And breathing cough...the air!
_____________
You too may be a big hero,
ONce you've learned to count backwards to zero.
"In German, or English, I know how to count down,
Und I'm learning Chinese," says Wernher Von Braun.
_____________
National Brotherhood week. Just so funny.
_____________
At your command
Before you here I stand,
My heart is in my hand...Ech!
_____________
Fight fiercely, Harvard,
fight, fight, fight!
Demonstrate to them our skill.
Albeit they possess the might,
Nonetheless we have the will.
How we shall celebrate our victory,
We shall invite the whole team up for tea
(How jolly!)
Hurl that spheroid down the field, and
Fight, fight, fight!

Fight fiercely, Harvard,
fight, fight, fight!
Impress them with our prowess, do!
Oh, fellows, do not let the crimson down,
Be of stout heart and true.
Come on, chaps, fight for Harvard's glorious name,
Won't it be peachy if we win the game?
(Oh, goody!)
Let's try not to injure them, but
Fight, fight, fight!
And do fight fiercely!
Fight, fight, fight!
_______________

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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