The Adventures of Jeremy - Book 2

POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Thursday, March 11, 2004 07:55
VIEWED: 10958
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EBONEZER

Tuesday, March 2, 2004 2:57 AM

"My name," he started, "is-"

He was cut off by a stream of lava shooting up into the air behind him.

A TV set fell from the sky and a news anchor calmly described how the Le Brea Tar Pits were experencing some unusual volcanic activity.

"My god," Teela rolled her eyes, "how many bad TV shows and movies are we going to cross over with before we get to the end?"

"Oh lots," Joss said, "Such is life."

"Uh," Tash said, "Should we maybe consider running away?" Moisture was gathering on the outside of his jar.

They turned and ran away from the oncoming lava.

"Man," Teela puffed, "I miss my Xterra."

"Couldn't we cross over with some decent movies involving not running?" Jeremy complained.

Just then a beat up station wagon pulled up in front of them.

"Briggs! Don't hurt my wifes car!" An older looking black man in the passenger seat shouted.

"Aw, come on Murtaugh. We gotta go catch bad guys!" the driver, a white man with shoulder lenght hair yelled back.

They ran on, "Leathal Weapon is not a good movie," Tash rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on," Jeremy said, "It's got some of the best exploasions ever."

Just then a large building exploded a few blocks away.

"See?"

They ducked into an alley to avoid the shockwave.

When it had passed they stepped out.

"Jeremy!" Teela said, "You lost your hat!"

SUCCATASH

Tuesday, March 2, 2004 6:52 AM

Just then, the pale shadow of the Master appeared in the alley. He was a ghostly form, barely visible, and looked bloody, bruised and beaten.

The sick Master whispered, "Attacked... was I. A mighty power, by ... Barely escaped, did I. Dying, I am."

The sick Master floated wobbly, and smiled sadly at Teela. A tear trickled down his face and splashed transparently on a tiny stone by her feet. Instantly, a black rose sprouted in the cold ground and bloomed. Teela stared in wonder.

The Master lowered his head and a piece of red material floated down from the sky.

Teela reached up and caught it out of the air. "It's a piece of my Super Suit!" cried Teela, joyously. Then her forehead wrinkled. "But it's been torn. Where is the rest of it?"

The Master panted. "All I could save, this is."

Teela strapped the red material around her chest, like a bra. She couldn't help but ask, "So, what kind of powers do I have?"

"Into your bra..." the Master gasped. "Transferred, the power is. Unknown, you're full powers are. Teela, know, do I ... The power to control the minds of men, you now have..."

Succatash interrupted them. "Well, no shit. You can't take claim for natural Boob Magic. What about flying? Or running fast? Can she still do that?"

The Master ignored the question, and coughed sickly. Instead, he turned to Jeremy and handed him a blue latex condom.

"Restore the Balance!" warned the dying Master as he faded away. He continued to whisper as he diappeared,

"Train the new Master, you must. Maniac, his name is. Help him you must," gasped the Master as he finally died.

Teela shrieked and fell to her knees. Jeremy held her tightly and said, "It's okay, sshhh, it's okay." He looked at the blue condom in his hand and added, "It's me I'm worried about."

MANIACNUMBERONE

Tuesday, March 2, 2004 9:24 AM

The sound of the lave woke Maniac, and grunting with strange pleasure, he lept towards the source of the sound.

Finding lava pouring around him, Maniac jumped up on the tombstones and sprang from one to the next, till he was next to the gaping hole spewing heat and lava. Maniac felt the heat and howled, but shrugged it off.

He lept to a large mausoleum. Next to it, a tall statue of an angel that looked like it was giving the bird stood 12 feet tall.

At that moment, Maniac heard a powerful voice pierce through the roar of the lava, "Restore the Balance."

Moments later maniac felt a power flow into his body and he reached down to the statue of the angel and picked it up above his head, more with his mind than with his body, but he didn't know that.

Maniac jumped with incredible strength and called mighty words that he didn't understand. Plunging down, Maniac crammed the angel statue into the top of the spewing lava hole, plugged it, and landed with more grace than he was used to.

"Mng" Maniac said with slight pleasure, and was distracted for a moment as a half mile away the diverted lava spouted from a different, new spout. "mng" He said again, and pulled a stick from his bushy hair.

EBONEZER

Wednesday, March 3, 2004 2:37 AM

"Question." Tash said,

"You seem to have a lot of those..." Teela sighed

"That's only because the Mighty Ebonezer is confused, and sense I have no body to interefer with her thought waves, she comunicates through me."

"Why doesn't she just add herself to our little mix?" the boyfrind of the slayer chick asked.

"Too many charchters, and that makes her even more confused."

"Gotcha."

The stood around staring at each other for a little while. Jeremy scratched his nose.

"So didn't the 'Mighty Ebonezer' have a question?" he asked?

"Yes, but she's forgotten what it is. You've distracted her."

"Ah."

"So, now what?" the boyfreind asked.

"Don't you have some Fox Execs to slay?" Teela asked.

"Some what?"

Teela rolled her eyes, "oh nevermind."

Just then a man in a loin cloth ran by.

"Maniac!" Joss yelled, "Catch him!"

They all took flight after him.

"Oh yeah," Tash said, "The Mighty Ebonezer wants to know why we need a Master. What good did the last one do?"

"Can the Mighty Ebonezer gimme my Xterra back?" Teela winned.

A VW Bug appeared in front of them.

"That is not an Xterra!" Teela shouted

"It was the best she could do. The 'X' key is alot of work to hit, and she's already done it a few times this post. She doesn't want to get carpal tunnel."

They pilled into the VB bug, but the slayers boyfriend wouldn't fit. He was forced to be left behind.

And there was much rejocing.

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 3, 2004 1:31 PM

Joss was directing Teela. "Okay left...go strait for-wait! There he is! Bank right!"

"Okay, okay, we might be able to catch him, but he has some sort of jetpack. Does it work?"

"Well, um, the funny thing about that..." Joss began.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Thursday, March 4, 2004 3:22 AM

"It's in the bushes," Tash said calmly.

"Huh? How do you know?" Joss asked.

"Hello, the voice of the Mighty Ebonezer runs through me," Tash said, "Duh."

"Ah."

They squeeked around a couple of hard left corners then realized that the maniac was running around the same block. They turned around, and drove the other way and met him head on. Joss shot a tranqualizer dart from a gun he found under the seat.

"Hey the Mighty Ebonezer didn't do so bad giving us this bug," Teela said, "It has fun little surprises. Tell her thanks."

Tash cleared his throat, "Hi, you've reached the Mighty Ebonezer. I'm off doing important stuff and can't come to the psycic think-y thing right now. Please leave a message which i will proptly ignore."

"Important stuff? What kind of important stuff?" Jeremy asked.

"Somebody told her she looked like a lesbian today and she's documenting what she wore exactly."

"So she never get's the comment again?"

"No. It's a look she want's to repeat. She hasn't been laid in a while..."

TEELABROWN

Friday, March 5, 2004 12:38 AM

Teela slightly blushes when she hears the laid bit...but she's read Catch-22 and 1984, so she's sort of used to it. Besides, she LOVES limericks (and we all know they can be rather inappropriate...)

"Okay, next subject point. Joss, did you hit Maniac?"

"Might have to try again. He can resist tranquilizers pretty well. I suppose the Master did too?"

"Well, when we worked, we weren't running or chasing or anything really exciting. So I suppose he could."

"Hey, Tash and The Mighty Ebonezer are hungry! Could we get some food?" Tash echoed from the back.

"Later, we need to get Maniac subdued at least."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Friday, March 5, 2004 1:30 AM

"But we're huuuunnnnnnggggggrrrrrrryyyyyyyy!" Tash winned.

"Later!"

"Look at me, I'm withering away to nothing!"

Jeremy scratched his head, "Tash, I hate to break it to you, but you are nothing. Sort of. What I mean is you have no body. Or a stommach. So how can you be hungry?"

"It's a uh, um, well.. It's like this see-"

"We got him!" Joss yelled, "the maniac is down!"

TEELABROWN

Friday, March 5, 2004 12:54 PM

Joss alone went out. "Okay, all who have appendages that work, help me, if you'd be so kind." The sarcasm was thick.

A bunch of "rather sorry" and "Sure, Joss" echoed from Jeremy and Teela.

So, they managed to get Maniac in the back. Somehow. It's a rather small car.

"Okay, we're going for celebratory meal, but you don't get any." Teela said with a mischevious smile.

"HEY!!" Tash cried out.

"Just joking, Tash. And The Mighty Ebonezer. What do you want?"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Saturday, March 6, 2004 1:24 AM

"Flat bread!" The Might Ebonezer called out through Tash.

"Flat what?" Teela asked.

"Flat. Bread. Bread that is flat. She doens't understand why you don't understand," Tash said.

Teela gave him a look.

"It's like a tortilla, but thicker."

"How about hamburgers?" Jeremy suggested.

There was a chours of:

"Yeah hamburegers!"

"Good Idea!"

"Yummy!"

Tash looked dejected. "Flat? bread?" He said meekly.

"Tell ya what," Joss said, "We'll get some bread from the hamburger joint, and somebody will sit on it. It'll flatten right out."

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