Firefly poem for english class
POSTED BY: jlin13
UPDATED: Thursday, January 11, 2007 01:30
VIEWED: 2791
PAGE 1 of 1
Serenity Valley will always be with me
You can’t take the sky from me
In a way, I never really left
You can’t take the sky from me
I lost friends... Too many friends
You can’t take the sky from me
Then I found this ship
You can’t take the sky from me
And in it, I have found...
You can’t take the sky from me
What I had lost those years before
You can’t take the sky from me
When I’m in it I know I’m home
For I am it and it is I
tell me what you think, i really need feed back because it's due tommorrow and i want it to be good
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by jlin13:
For I am it and it is I
Okay, I am in no way a literary expert. But as a layman reading this, I would change the last word to "me". I think it flows with the rest of the poem -- every other line ends with me. Unless you were using that as a "jolt" at the end -- in which case, never mind.
The poem sounds good to me.
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Okay, I am in no way a literary expert. But as a layman reading this, I would change the last word to "me". I think it flows with the rest of the poem -- every other line ends with me. Unless you were using that as a "jolt" at the end -- in which case, never mind.
The poem sounds good to me.
this is a chant poem where every other line is the same unless you want to change up the last line which i did
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME