Male and Female Imponderables--Delicate Sound of Thunder
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 15:41
VIEWED: 12364
PAGE 6 of 14
Nighty night Mags!
MSG - I had pretty much the same experiance this weekend at my Mother-In-Laws house with my Sister-In-Laws kids. They were so out of control that my daughter did not want anything to do with them. I could not believe it especially with the way my Sister-In-Law is. But none the less they just ran wild and her and her husband did nothing about it.
And they wonder why we never envite their kids over for sleep-overs. I think I would loose it.
Kelkhil
The Shirtless Forsaken
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Ah crap...I just had a big ole post about how there have been too many changes to how kids are parented to say that lack of 'beatings' (I don't like that term) is to blame for deteriorating societal values. We could replace 'beatings' with 'not making kids address elders as 'Sir" or 'Ma'am' and draw similar conclusions.
CMH, do have any imponderables that don't involve violence? 'Cause, you know, that might be refreshing.
***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Beating implies extreme physical harm ( which studies show produces, violent, irrational, and inappropriate behavior)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
And see there, I typed out something very similar to what MSG said. Basically kids need consistent rules and boundaries and when those are broken there need to be consistent consequences.
I hope this isn't offensive, but it's a lot like training animals. Some test the boundaries harder than others but if the rules are fair and consistent and the consequences are in line with the misbehaviour, you will develop well behaved animal.
As for spanking, my mom did spank us on a regular basis. But, I think she did it right. She would make us go sit in our rooms for about 15 minutes to 'think' about what we did wrong (as an adult, I realized that this was so she could cool off and wasn't hitting us out of anger). Then she would come in and we would have to tell her what we did wrong and why we were being spanked. We also had to tell her what the "right" choice in the situation would've been. Then she spanked us. I've got to say that if you're going to spank, it should be similar to that.
***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
I don't like the idea of using medications on kids. When I was in school, I was diagnosed with every single mental disorder you could possibly apply to someone of that age, with medications to suit (and the diagnosis would change when they discovered that whichever medication had last been prescribed wasn't working).
Before the medications, there were times when I felt like my brain was on fire with all these wonderful ideas.
After I started taking them, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on my imagination, then tossed it into cryosleep. I wound up pretty gorram depressed - hell, there were even times when I considered suicide.
I'm off the meds now - have been for nearly ten years - but frankly, the memories of the time when I was on meds f***ing scare me, and I wonder how many of the teenagers who commit suicide were on some kind of psychoactive medication, such as Prozac, Cylert, Ritalin, and the like.
"First come smiles, then come lies. Last is gunfire." - Roland Deschain, gunslinger
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
That is scary, Mac! I'm glad no one got ahold of me when I was young and put me on nasties; I had enough problems without that, thank you!
I think the sad fact is that most teens who comit suicide are on meds. So are most teens who bring guns to school and kill people. Of course no one talks about that. Can you imagine the outcry if it were actually said that meds cause that kind of behavior?
Although I don't think they always do, I just don't think they help. Drugging someone instead of actually addressing the problem is not the answer, because it will only treat the symptoms, and not even those all the time. The problem will still be there under the surface. Or, as you said, the meds put out your fire and hence your will to live. Too many people are put on meds they shouldn't be. Not even meds when they should actually be working on the solution rather than just covering it in drugs, I'm talking about being misdiagnosed and put on something TOTALLY wrong for you.
Sorry, this is an important subject to me. I picked it for a topic for an essay once, and the research I did... It made it even more important.
http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Good Morning all!
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Gonna jump in on the meds thing.
Don't take 'em, never want to. I'd rather have the odd, bleak moments and still have the powerful drive to create. I'm afraid that anything taken to alter brain chemistry for whatever reason can in fact alter personality and destroy creativity.
And it scares me that people let kids run wild, no boundaries, and then fence them in chemically instead of taking the time to say 'don't do that' for whatever reason.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Meds should only be used in conjunction with other forms of therapy (psycho, physical, emotional spiritual). Med.s rarely cure ailments on their own. They are a mere supplament to actual healing.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by magdalena:
I actually am very like my Dad and I learned to control my temper at an early age coz I felt, like you, that he was the one in the wrong - not me! Another side of life we share a bond over...
That's so shiny
I'd say we were twins, only we obviously aren't
That makes it even more shiny, in a way 
Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Meds should only be used in conjunction with other forms of therapy (psycho, physical, emotional spiritual). Med.s rarely cure ailments on their own. They are a mere supplament to actual healing.
I agree with you; that's what I was getting at. Too many people expect this 'magic pill' to just make it all go away. They don't think they have to work with their kids (or themselves). It really just causes more problems.
http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME