Male and Female Imponderables--Delicate Sound of Thunder
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 15:41
VIEWED: 12364
PAGE 5 of 14
Morning, all!
Stinkgingrose, sorry to hear about the noo moan yah...I am glad you seem to be surviving it and are back, though! 
Magda, I do have a few parenting tricks up my sleeve! 
Benadryl smoothie...hmm...
Morning, NVG, MSG!
Morning, CMH! I think you may have something there. I am not a proponent of thrashing the hell out of a child if they do something a bit out of line, but I do think some sort of discipline is important. And you are right; it has gotten to the point where a parent cannot even tap the child on the bottom without having "outraged citizens" call DHR down on them. I am neither a parent, nor was I beaten as a child. I did have the ocassional spanking when necessary, and after a few of those a mere word or raised hand were enough.
That may require some further insight.
I need coffee. I'll be back.
______________________________________
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Good Morning Everyone!
I decided not to post over at the Pub, as I would be tempted to have another 7 & 7...not the day to do it! Just found out I had 3 containers landing yesterday, 2 in NY, 1 in Philadelphia. Tons of paperwork for me!
Have a great day- I'll try to be on later.
-M.
"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Hello dear Mav... what do you do when they land - have they landed on someone or something... ? Do you have to clean that up?
Sorry couldn't resist!!
How're you going Tristan? I'm almost at nightcap time - need a Baileys... so I might have to pop in to the pub anyway!
Good to see some folk here anyway!
Love you all
Magda x x
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Magda- Wish it HAD landed on a certain Customs Official who shall be nameless in Philadelphia...
He's just doin' his job. Breathe in. Breathe out.
"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
My mother raised me and she never raised a hand to me. My dad sometimes did, but not often, and he did not raise me for most of my life.
My mom would let me know when I was out of line. If I threw a fit in public, she scooped me up and we went home. That was all it took.
She also set right and wrong in my mind at a very young age, and would talk to me seriously when I was calm enough to listen after I had done something wrong. I'm not going to say this made me the perfect child, but I am going to hold it up as proof that there don't have to be blows - or even swats - to get a child's attention and let them know they're out of line. I knew I was out of line and would be properly ashamed. And if mom was disappointed in me? Oh, that was horrible.
Now here is the thing about the way my dad would sometimes handle things; if he spanked or punished me physically, I would come away from it feeling that he was in the wrong, rather than me. I knew it wasn't right to harm someone like that. Even if he was doing it for a 'good' reason, the point would be missed because I felt he was wrong rather than me being wrong.
I do not have any disorders that require any form of medication. Any issues I do have stem from emotional blows I recieved as a child.
No, I do not think it's a bad thing to discipline children in non-violent ways. I think violence seeds bitterness, not health. You're bigger than your child; you can restrain them or pick them up and leave with them if that's what you need to do. But a child should not be afraid of their parent.
http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Hey, Magda! You're ready for a nightcap while I need coffee! Stupid 15 hour time difference...
Mavourneen, sorry to hear about the container problem!
PR. Huh. Thanks for that. Interesting take on things.
______________________________________
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
I will say my dad spanked me once in my whole life, and I will also say I deserved it. I threw a heavy crystal dish at my mom's head. ( Luckily I missed) and I got spanked for endangering someone. I don't think spankings over everyday discipline does anything other than teach kids to hit when they want to enforce something, but I will say that if they are doing something profoundly dangerous it can be a way to make a strong impact that the choice has serious consequences. Because he only did it once, it made a big impact on me and I never tried to injure my mom again ( I had a mostly sunny disposition, but a wicked nasty temper)
I'd say that firm rules and sticking to them is seriously lacking in our culture. I would agree with a part of what Chris said. I don't think it's the lack of spanking, but the total lack of follow through. Parents are overworked and tired and they just give in. It used to be when a parent grounded you or took away priviledges that was that. Parents backed up what they said. They meant it and they would enforce the consequences severely. Now it seems ( from a teachers perspective) that the main discipline strategy for a large portion of parents is to ignore any and all behavior until it is so bad no one can stand it, then yell or scream at the child. No attempt is made to show kids how to get what they need or what behaviors are acceptable..just scream and ignore. I have seen good parents, but I see a lot more who just can't be bothered.
Case in point. My sister in law has a sistern named Jen. She has 3 kids. Thursday was my nephew's first birthday and Jen brought 2 of her kids. Her youngest (4 years old) ran around and grabbed toys and bashed them into walls and the dog repeatedly. His mother ignored this. My brother stopped him several times and finally told him if he didn't stop that the toys would be taken away. Through this whole thing his mom was sitting 4 feet away and didn't even acknowledge the behavior. Then it was time for Wyatt to get his birthday cake. They put Wy in the high chair and placed his cake in front of him. Jen's boy ran over and started grabbing at the cake and eating it before Wy could even touch his own cake. My brother and his uncle told him to stop several times and finally pulled him away and made him sit down. His own mother was there the entire time and made no move to stop him until she realized everyone was really angry that he was ruining Wy's party. Then she dragged him one room away and began yelling that she couldn't take him anywhere and he was such a problem...WTF??? she refuses to parent and he doesn't have a clue what appropriate behavior is and that's HIS fault???
Sorry rant over, it just really bugged me.
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Well said, Ms G.
http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Tis just wrong that Tristan... simply wrong...
Gorgeous PR - my parents were the same though I did grow up with my father & his terrible temper - I love him dearly and am close to him - but I sometimes wonder if he did permanent damage to me, coz he used to hit me over the head occassionally and now I suffer from chronic headaches... still he was parenting as he'd been parented so... I actually am very like my Dad and I learned to control my temper at an early age coz I felt, like you, that he was the one in the wrong - not me! Another side of life we share a bond over...
Sorry that it didn't land on him then Mav! Better luck next time - eh?
And with that my dear imponderers... I am off to bed - coz I really need my beauty sleep!... and another glass of Baileys too...
Enjoy your day my FFFfamily! - Magda x x
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME