Random Stuff
POSTED BY: fredgiblet
UPDATED: Thursday, May 27, 2010 21:50
VIEWED: 3158
PAGE 1 of 1
I had a file with all this stuff on my computer, I don't remember where I got it but a lot of it pretty cool and\or funny. It's really long so it may take a while to get through it all.
WARNING!!! This contains a variety of things that can and will offend various people, read at your own risk. The views expressed in this post do not neccessarily represent the views of the poster, in other words don't flame me if you get pissed at something, find and flame the person who wrote it.
EDIT:'Nother WARNING, profanity is present in this post, once again read at your own risk.
Love is hell and god in one.
Today is only yesterday's tomorrow.
"Low self esteem: the leading cause of relationships gone bad"
My favorite weapon is the look in your eyes -- Ministry
I don't feel like our relationship ended, I feel like it truncated.
Sex is easier to give up than smoking.
Apology - the only way of having the last word with a woman.
Send more Cong! Send more Cong! -- The Phantom Blooper
I'd rather sweat 24 hours than shiver 5 minutes -- Xantha, 7/22/91
Rights are what you can get away with.
I don't have an overactive imagination, I have an underactive reality.
Help! I've tripped and I can't get down!
Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% mortality rate
"This is the most exciting piece of excrement I've ever seen."
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
By the time a man reads women like books he's too old to collect a library.
Celibacy is not an inherited characteristic.
"You've never seen anything until you've seen a Valkyrie go down"
Sex is the invention of a clever venereal disease.
Being tied up and screwed silly does wonders for one's perspective - Z, 3/92
Milli-helen: the amount of beauty necessary to launch one ship.
Instant gratification takes too long.
The wages of sin depend upon what union you belong to.
Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route.
Life is either boring or miserable. Just decide which is worse. -- Voltaire
"I hate quotations" -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Will Rogers never met a Mongol.
Vidi, vici, veni, veni oooh aahhh ummm ohhh veni. Aahh.
I don't give a damn about apathy.
How far can you open your mind before your brain falls out?
Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget.
By the time you realize what love can do, the damage has already been done.
Jesus died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the problem is with reality.
He who lives by the sword laughs last.
First you burn, *then* you rape. It's so much more romantic by firelight.
Marriage? Sorry, I can't mate in captivity.
To know death, you must fuck life. In the gall-bladder. -- Andy Warhole's Frankenstein
It only hurts when I think.
If you love something, set if free. If it comes back, it's dependent on you.
Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.
If I want your opinion, I'll read it in your entrails.
That which does not kill me had better be able to run damned fast.
"Don't torture yourself, that's what friends are for" -- found on a.s.b
"You're a bastard, Therion. You'll never be alone for long" -- Xantha, 1/23/93
"Why don't you ever date normal women?" -- my mom, repeatedly.
Admit nothing. Blame everyone. Be bitter. -- someone on alt.angst
The Earth is our Mother. But who wants to live with your mother all your life?
Hail Eris, full of grace. Won't you sit upon my face? -- discordian poem.
Do not panic. Think only of yourself -- Hawkwind
Being human is a contact sport.
The sword of truth is just another weapon.
Evil I did dwell; lewd did I live - (almost a palindrome)
Demons, man, demons! Who needs chicks when you got demons? -- Gate II
How'd you like to bite *her* on the ass, get lockjaw, and be dragged to death?
My reality check just bounced.
If Florentine is two weapons, is Venetian blind fighting? -- rec.org
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bump
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For every battle honour, a thousand heroes die along, unremembered and unsung...
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Some of those are IMMENSE!!
My fav 2 are:
"how would you like to bite that ass, get lockjaw, and be dragged to death"
and
"Hey Santa! How much for your list of naughty girls??"
www.myspace.com/didxl
sexier.younger.brother@hotmail.co.uk
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Absolutely beautiful. Refreshing even.
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Dang. My friend Chuck's quote is still out there.
It just came up in reference to an article on medicating everyone.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/26/AR2010
022603369.html?hpid=opinionsbox1
Recent novels by Michael Z. Williamson
CONTACT WITH CHAOS, Apr 09 from Baen Books
BETTER TO BEG FORGIVENESS..., Nov 07 from Baen Books
http://www.MichaelZWilliamson.com
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Some good ones. Too many to read all of them.
But here's a couple of my faves that may not (or may) have been posted above:
Will the last person to leave the universe please turn out the lights.
I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Q: Is there intelligent life on Earth?
A: Yes, but I'm only visiting.
And in the style of the always excellent Uxbridge English Dictionary:
Cursory - a place where children learn to swear
Baccanalian - to bet on a martian
Senile - what to do whilst in Egypt
Binmen - post-op Transexuals
Thesauras - a disorder following the consumption of curry
Samurai – the choice between me and Sam
Aftermath - when you explain why you didn't do you homework
Triangle - fishing for the first time
"The greatest invention ever is not the wheel. It's the second wheel." - Rich Hall
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