Do You Have a Thinking Problem?
POSTED BY: canttakesky
UPDATED: Friday, April 24, 2026 00:33
VIEWED: 13256
PAGE 2 of 17
All you pansy, so-called "thinkaholics" make me sick. Blaming all your problems on thinking! Thinking's just a crutch for you people! Take some responsibility! Truth be told, I bet yer all just a bunch o' lightweights who can't hold their think!
I could think the whole lot of ya under the table and still pick up a frickin' vollume o' Schopenhauer!
And don't tell me it's a disease!
"Oh, b-but, I can't control my thinking--it's a disease!"
I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ME THAT! No one made you think your first thought, did they? Huh? You think you have a problem with thinking, then quit. Simple as that. That's what we call a "no-brainer."
HKCavalier
Hey, hey, hey, don't be mean. We don't have to be mean, because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
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When I was younger I could never afford to think the good thoughts. I was stuck thinking poor, thin thoughts that didn't satisfy me. After a night of thinking these inferior thoughts I would often wake up in the morning with my head hurting. Now, because I only sample the rich deep thoughts, the quality of my thinking experience has vastly improved.
They say that thinking alone shows you have a problem. But I always say that somewhere in the world there is someone thinking with me. So I'm never really alone in my thoughts.
I'm one of those who are a thinker and a joker. I find the two go hand in hand. Many of my friends only joke when they think. Otherwise, they wouldn't be caught dead with a joke.
There's a lot of people who don't like joking. Especially around meal times. Used to be you could joke all you wanted after enjoying a great dinner. Now they make you take your jokes outside.
And I would really advise against joking after sex. It may seem the most natural thing to do, but your partner might not appreciate it as much as you do.
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I too want to share my experience. Sometimes it's of thinking so much it gives me a headache. Of waking up from my thoughts confused, and all wondering of the world around me.
Sometimes the urge to think comes on me all of the sudden - but many times it's there, in the background, waiting.
This thinking has so taken over my life, I don't even care what I think, or how, or when. Whether it's a snap retort or long-steady pondering.
Yes, I deserve the scorn of those righteous middle Americans who don't know much about art but know what they like. Who don't know much about history, or biology, or trigenometry.
There's words for people like me, but usually it's geek.
And yet, despite scorn heaped on me, I know I will never stop --- thinking.
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This thread is pretty funny, I guess y'all got a serious problem. But not to worry. Big pharm has come out with a new solution: Oblivirin IQ.
Oblivirin is a new hypo-dextrocylicphenylamide with the chemical name 2-phenyl-dextroretrosupidine. Proponents of the drug promise that it will stop thoughts right in their tracks. Early tests on rats show that with an intravenous injection of 2CCs of .1% 2-phenyl-dextroretrosupidine, button pressing decreased by more than half, escape attempts were down 77%, and nest-keeping was altogether abandoned.
Ask your physician about Oblivirin.
Side effects may include drowsiness, headache, nausea and watching daytime TV.
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Quote:See, it is this kind of insensitivity that makes thinkaholism awareness so important.
Originally posted by HKCavalier:
"Oh, b-but, I can't control my thinking--it's a disease!"
You don't KNOW what it is like not to be able to control your thinking. I started in grade school--yep, grade school. Hiding dictionaries in my locker. Keeping Roald Dahl books under the mattress. Despite the school system's best efforts to protect me from exposure to thinking, just a little slip on their part (they let me go to the library during recess) started an uncontrollable and shameful hunger I've had to endure my whole life.
I would give anything to be able to turn on the news and believe everything they say without question. Listen to a presidential address without snickering. Not fall in love with clever shows on FOX that get cancelled in mid-season. You know how painful it is not to fit in?
It took me a long time to admit that I have a problem. Please show some compassion next time you talk to a thinkaholic.
Can't Take My Gorram Sky
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*on floor, holding stomach, choking on inhaled coffee and laughing his ass off*
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Yeah, this is a pretty funny thread. Who woulda thought RWErs would have it in them?
Imagine what we could do with "Do you have a linking problem?" Irresistible urges to find links everywhere. Carrots and car accidents. Government and flatulence. 
Or how about this: Do you have a stinking problem? Haha.
Can't Take My Gorram Sky
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Quote:
Originally posted by Causal:Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Like many, he finds religion a great substitute for thinking and hopes one day all Americans will do the same.
Really, now--do you mean to imply that one cannot be a serious thinker and also be religious?
No, I mean to state that George W Bush wants people to replace intellectual thought on certain matters with religious beliefs.
Although obviously logical thoughts are the natural enemy of nearly every religion.
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Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:Quote:
Originally posted by Causal:Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Like many, he finds religion a great substitute for thinking and hopes one day all Americans will do the same.
Really, now--do you mean to imply that one cannot be a serious thinker and also be religious?
No, I mean to state that George W Bush wants people to replace intellectual thought on certain matters with religious beliefs.
Although I do agree that this very well could be the case, it does seem like you're setting up intellectual thought and religious belief as being mutually exclusive and opposing things--especially when you say something like:
Quote:
Although obviously logical thoughts are the natural enemy of nearly every religion.
Are you trying to be offensive? I'll grant that it may be the case that I'm too sensitive on this issue. As a Christian and a philosopher, I am ridiculed with alarming frequency by both fellow philosophers (for being a Theist) and fellow believers (for being a philosopher)--so I may be over-sensitive on this issue. But I just don't see how saying that logical thinking is the "natural enemy" of religion could be taken in any other way. I imagine that if I claimed that logical thinking was the "natural enemy" of liberal thought, you'd cry foul, both because you disagree with that premise and because that's a blatently inflammatory remark. The same goes for me in this case. I can't see how that claim is anything other than arrogant and offensive. Am I misinterpreting in some way?
________________________________________________________________________
Grand High Poobah of the Mythical Land of Iowa, and Keeper of State Secrets
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I'm not saying religions have to be wrong, I'm just saying if you apply logical thought, you generally get a very different answer.
For example, you pick up the Bible and read the account of creation in Genesis. Two possibilities leap to mind:
1. God created the world in 6 days and faked vast amounts of scientific evidence to suggest otherwise.
2. A religious leader was once asked how the world came into being and made up what all that stuff about the Garden of Eden, etc, etc. The tale gets retold a few hundred times and then is transcribed.
Which one is the logical answer?
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