The hall monitor checks out
POSTED BY: PhoenixRose
UPDATED: Sunday, August 27, 2006 15:21
VIEWED: 7946
PAGE 1 of 8
OK, I almost did this yesterday and I talked myself down, remembering why I love it here and how many friends I have...
I get on here every day because I don't want to miss anything. It seems there are things worth missing.
Apparently there are a few members of the site who think I behave as an annoying and bitchy "hall monitor" on a regular basis. What to me is stating simple facts is to them an attack.
*takes shaky breath* Yesterday in this thread here, http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=23303 I said that the topic was already being discussed and gave a link. I had nothing else to say on the subject as I don't watch SG1. I knew the threads couldn't be consolodated at that point, I just wanted to point out that the topic had already been broached and there was a discussion clipping along about it. For some reason I thought it would be useful. I also somehow thought that it might let someone know to check around in the future before starting a thread. That's really all there was to it, believe it or not.
Yes, duplicate threads annoy me. Yes, threads in the wrong place annoy me. And yes on this thread I did say why after losing my temper because the original poster jumped down my throat.
So then more people jumped down my throat. Not just in-thread but in messages.
When I tried to explain that I was upset at being jumped on, I was told that their reaction was justified but mine was not, and that I did come off as bitchy and should pretty much just shut up.
So I'm shutting up, basically.
I care about this community. Maybe too much. I care about the people and I invest myself in conversations. And up until about two weeks ago, I always felt completely welcome. I no longer feel completely welcome. It's like a very strange party where some people are giving me hugs and others are continually pushing me towards the door.
I need to get my temper back in check. I'm in some kind of vicious spiral where I get annoyed about something, which leaves me open to be more annoyed and still more annoyed and finally angry and hurt, so I'm feeling oddly sensitive. I really can't take the idea of the possibility I will be attacked, and it's likely I will see even the merest slight as an attack right about now, let alone being referred to as "bitches-r-us" or similar.
Magdalena, Oddsbodkins, DancingNeko, PaganPaul, Penguin, DesktopHippie, Tristan, SpaceAnJL, Whitefall, msg, QuietSerenity, nvghostrider, FollowMal, citizen, and any shiny supportive people I might have forgotten, I'll miss you. You've gotten me through a lot in these past few months, and I know you care about me as I care about you.
Hopefully this will be temporary. I really can't say how long I'll be gone. Please take care of the Forsaken for me.
pdcharles, I don't know if you're still around. A certain person mentioned you to me when I said I defended people when insults were thrown at them rather than adding insult to injury, as I felt was being done to me. I was told that many people jumped on you for something you had not done and I hadn't been there. I didn't see it, and I'm sorry. I hope you aren't gone. Or if you are, that it's temporary as I hope my absence will be.
So... so that's it. I've said my bit, and I wish you all a hopefully temporary farewell.
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*runs after PR*
Don't leave because of this.
"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"
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Come back soon Miss PhoenixRose! 
We will keep the Forsaken threads warm for you!
You will be missed...I learn so much from you...about everything!
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Boy, I'm sorry to hear that you're taking a leave of absence, Rose. We'll keep the (Forsaken) home fires burning. Hope everything works out just the way you want it to!
________________________________________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.
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I made you a little something...
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Checking me out?? Why thank-you... wait, there's more... OOhhh, boy am I embarassed. Seems I should READ EVERYTHING first.
Hang on a moment Rose, whilst I get up to speed (mostly to hide my shame
)
*reads*
Ok....umm hmm... yes, I can see that... way outta line... Soulda seen it as a service... Well now, that was uncalled for... wait there's a link... ok, I see nothing wrong with that... whew, that a lot of readin'. 
Rose, I tend to stay out of a lot of threads, mainly because I am an atrocious typist and that the typed word is SOOO lacking emotion. What should come across as a suggestion, may be read as an attack.
Seems to me, you have more friends here than you know. Give it another chance. I never like to see a browncoat leave, especially one with such a sparkling personality as yourself, and I've only spoken to you a few times.
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Yeah, place wouldn't be the same without you. I'm sure nobody meant ill. Sometimes folks get rowdy, is all.
Please don't leave us.
-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.
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Heaven forbid you actually try and build people up rather than break them down. That would damage the delicate sensibilies of all "those folks" who project their insecurites by posting insults rather than attempting assertive, adult conversation. And how hard is it to speak, let alone type, without cussing every other word. It happens in the heat of the moment, but how hard is it to develop ones vocabulary enough as not to need to disrespect yourselves by cussin' and carryin' on.
I'm glad we have folks like PR around. Sometimes we need someone to point out that we may be out of line in a very acceptable manner.
I'd rather have a Browncoat like PR to mention that I may be a bit out of line rather than have anyone else "tell" me the same thing.
We love you Phoenix Rose.
Kisses.
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*reaches over to hug PR*
*sputter* But....but...our conversations were getting interesting and fun! *mock whine* 
Seriously though, come back when you're feeling better. It seems some people take things the wrong way whenever anyone doesn't fit their notions of how everyone should act. ...and since this is the internet, people seem to forget that there's a person on the other side of the screen.
--
Side note: This is the second time in less than a month that people have decided to leave because others here are taking things and making them into personal attacks. I don't know where these people get off (and I don't care how old they are -- 12 or 200). It seems though, that these people are "popular" (whatever they say, most people seem to follow their lead). ...Then again, I've come here and felt to a certain extent as an outsider, cautiously welcomed but eyed as if I'm going to break the fine china or steal the family heirlooms, so *shrug*...take it as you will.
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PR.. please consider this before leaving.
I had never posted anywhere before I came here and before joining the Appreciatin' Nathan crew on the BB.
I've learned in this years time that these things come and go on boards. That most often if folks will remember to live and let live that this sort of thing blows over.
There's been a lot of strife on our board lately.. dunno what exactly has caused it. I think we all pick up on it, whether we want to or not.
I do know that losing you from our family ( even for a short while) is not something I'm happy about. I hope you know how much you're held in esteem around here. Cuz you are. You are a much loved member of our crew.
I remember a time that I said too much in jest on my other board. We were just kidding around and it went too far. When someone chided us for it a bit.. I got so offended. I announced I was considering leaving... and the no's just poured in. Made me feel so loved. I vowed not to do that anymore. It's so hard to convey in typing what you really feel. Even with emoticons helping, it's difficult. We need to all give each other a break about that and seek to understand before we think we're not welcome or before we're not kind.
I hope you won't leave.
I hope you'll stay and come to the galley with us.
Share a cup of coffee.
I think it's time to send FloralBunny on another one of those raids or some such that she does.
I'm hungry for blackberries.
*hugs* and PR
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=19&t=22697
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