Male and Female Imponderables--Friends, Romans, Countrymen...

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Wednesday, January 7, 2026 16:50
VIEWED: 21881
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BSCPANTHERFAN

Friday, July 7, 2006 5:53 PM

Well, some of you know me from the Forsaken threads, and Tristan and I have shared a meal together(mmmm-catfish), so you can blame him for me finding out about this thread.

I don't want to post a novel here to catch up, so I will just jump in if that is OK.

Body image: I grew up around several girls who went on to become Miss Alabama, and doing occassional work in the theater, I will sometimes run into really attractive people. If they don't have a personality to match, I really don't get turned on thinking about them.

FMF, shyness in women tends to be read as non-interest by men, so what does shyness in men come across as? I would think it's the same, but I am curious.

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Friday, July 7, 2006 5:57 PM

Rugbug

I know what you mean. I remember as a kid hearing people tell my mom constantly how pretty I was (they were on drugs). Then one day I heard this one woman say to this other mother the same thing she had said to my mother, and I hate to say it - but the girl she was talking about had not been blessed. She was not attractive in any way. It was at that moment that I decided it was all a bunch of baloney and to this day I don't believe any compliment. I know I used to be "bery cute" But I don't think I have even been pretty and certainly not "sexy or Hot"

GED

Friday, July 7, 2006 6:01 PM

Quote:

But besides the weirdness of California, the other thing that's worked for me is the "big fish in a little pond" thing. I could never compete with the cheerleaders for the attention of the football players, but put me in a room of gamers, geeks, and nerds, and I'm sitting pretty. ;)

~CK

Why would you want the stereotypical jock anyway? I'm originally from CA too - Los Angeles. And trust me, those cheerleader types are the ones I avoid like the plague. The partier, superficial, and do-things-for-approval types just don't float my boat. Things I look for are character, personality, sincerity, and whether or not we share similar values on things.

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Friday, July 7, 2006 6:06 PM

Shyness in men to me, makes me want to get them to talk to me. I am perverse that way. LOL

I think it comes off as the "strong silent type"

May I just say that ExFMF is one of these and women should think about steering clear!

He is so shy that he barely speaks outside of the house. Of course this did not stop him from having 5 affairs that I am aware of. I have been in the room, right next to him and had women give him their numbers.

MAL4PREZ

Friday, July 7, 2006 6:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Shyness: Oh boy do I suffer from it. The worst part is at times I can be very friendly, but then the next time I see someone it's all shyness, which then really comes across as arrogance. Not good. Mal4Prez, I remembered you wrote that and have been telling myself that quite often lately. I'm hoping it will help....

I so know where you're coming from! I had people tell me to my face how ugly I was in high school, so I've had that battle too. It's so hard to get over a bad image of yourself once you believe it!

My logic is this: the most interesting people to look at - and I'm talking real people here, not airbrushed photos - are people who are very animated. They may not have perfect features (who does? I have dreadful teeth!) but people who are expressive and open with what they're thinking are more attractive to me than people who keep a wall around them.

Hah! This is coming from a woman who lived in a wall for roughly 30 years. But I'm learning...

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Friday, July 7, 2006 6:09 PM

FMF: I cant stand people who say stuff when they dont mean it. Either mean it, or keep your gob shut!

I tend to get a lot of prejudice because of my being really natural blonde, and new people either talk to me like I'm an idiot, or don't believe it when they find out that I actually am clever. I told someone at my work experience that I was studying for an A-level maths exam (I'm 15), and they laughed like it was a joke, and went: "No, really."
Ok, I can be ditsy and away with the fairies(as my name suggests),for example: the other day, I was eating a yogurt in the living room, and when I was finished, I threw the spoon on the log fire, and went and put the yogurt pot in the washing up bowl. No-one discovered until my dad was raking out the fire the next morning, and found a suspicious spoon-shaped piece of blackened metal in the grate.
But I really wish people would get to know me before they started making assumptions.

Damn you Fox! Damn you to Hades!!
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

GED

Friday, July 7, 2006 6:10 PM

Quote:
I have been in the room, right next to him and had women give him their numbers.

A world class gentleman.
/sarcasm off

You deserve better FMF. Don't ever take that crap from anyone. Believe you are good enough and that you deserve better, because you truly do.

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Friday, July 7, 2006 6:10 PM

Quote:
Why would you want the stereotypical jock anyway?

Oh I totally agree. I wasn't interested in dating the jocks, it's just that at my high school (in NorCal), *everyone* was judged based on how well the jocks and cheerleaders liked you.

Thankfully, real life is nothing like high school, lol. As was mentioned in the last Imponderables thread, I'm a techy geek gamer girl, and I married a techy geek gamer guy. All our friends are geeks and gamers, and I'm much happier being the Queen of the Gamers than I would be being the trophy wife of some ex-football star.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

PENGUIN

Friday, July 7, 2006 6:12 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
We love our Tristan.

*Insert I Heart Tristan here*

MSG

Friday, July 7, 2006 6:12 PM

LOL FMF- ok laughed over the brothers thing..my lil sis's friend had 5 big brothers and the first date she went on they went to the movies..about 20 min into the movie she hears a familiar laugh and turns her head to find...all 5 of her brothers sitting one row behind them in the theater:)

It's not that I don't think I am attractive, I just know I'm not every guys perfect date:) I have no quarrel with that:) I have dated a few shy, sweet, gentle guys and sorry to say have walked all over them...so I tend to try for guys more able to stand up to me. I grew up with 4 guys who are now 1-navy seal 2-army ranger 3-SWAT cop in Watts and 4- paramedic/firefighter ...so I kinda grew up to hold toe to toe with a guy and many of them find that an unattractive quality:) their loss

Rugbug- I still don't see how you can look like every guy's fantasy woman and think that, but I understand it's not always how others see you it's how you see yourself:) HUGS ( but again wow!)

Tristan- you are the sweetest..but I have to agree there are some very lovely people on this board...I think maybe we just need to find a way to all get each other dates!!!( well for those of us who aren't married)

I do have a question for the girls...so do any of you feel uncomfortable asking a guy out? or do you just go for it?

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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