Life Onboard Serenity: Londinium or Laudanum?
POSTED BY: SameErtia
UPDATED: Tuesday, July 4, 2006 17:03
VIEWED: 18180
PAGE 4 of 11
Yeah those maps sure can be unruly little buggers. It's a good thing you're their manager. 
*The waiter handed 13 his/her plate and handed Pain his drink. The waiter said to the three*
Is there anything else I can do for you?
*Pain thought to himself*
Yeah get this cross dressin' bucket of bolts out of here.
*Instead Pain said*
No I think we're fine thanks.
*The waiter nodded and resumed his work as Pain picked at his food and said*
Today just isn't my day.
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WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?
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Ertia reaches under the table, sliding her hand across Pain's thigh. "Just pretend he..she's not even here."
"Hey, this is pretty good brew!" 13 knocks back more of the expensive wine, "Kinda fruity though."
Tears sting the back of Ertia's eyelids, but she plasters on a cheerful smile, "This garlic chicken is wonderful, isn't it?"
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*Pain says with a forced cheerful smile*
It sure is bao bei. It's the best in the 'verse.
*Pain sees 13 take another swig from the expensive wine bottle. He snatches it from 13 and says through grinding teeth*
Now now Clem remember what the doctor said about drinking too MUCH.
*Pain sets the bottle far from 13's reach as 13 replies*
Oh that doctor was just full of it. A little booze never hurt me.
*13 tries to reach for the bottle but Pain blocks his hand, forces a smile and says*
Isn't time for you to GO sis?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?
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*wolf left the ship and went to the hotel, he went to reception*
wolf" hi...er...i've got a reservation?"
snooty worker" name, sir?"
wolf" um.. freezefast."
snooty" yeeeeess! sir, your room is number 789."
*he hands wolf the keys.*
snooty" and will the young lady be staying with you?"
wolf" huh? what lady? oh."
*wolf looked around and kaylee had been standing next to him the whole time.*
wolf" oh hey kay, didn't see ya there."
kaylee" oh yeah, you said that you had a hotel room so i thought id come along."
wolf" sure, you can stay."
*they go up to the room and look around wolf's shiney room.*
kaylee" wow! "
wolf" yep, now this is luxury!"
kaylee" imagen, all those people who live like this everyday!"
wolf" yeah but we havent got long, only 2 days so lets do it all!, room service, films, expensive baths, the works!"
kaylee" how bout diner first, theres a resteraunt downstairs, lets go there."
wolf" yeah, chasing gremlins through air ducts makes me hungry."
kaylee" yeah i dare say you need to get your strength back."
wolf" what for?"
kaylee"
you tell me"
*they walk down smilying consiritoriously (sp?) they sat down and ordered their food.*
waiter" and what would sir and madam like?"
wolf" just drinks for now."
wolf thinks: finally some peace with kaylee, free of mercs, gremlins or mal..
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98% OF TEENS HAVE SMOKED POT, IF YOU ARE ONE ON THE 2% THAT HASENT, COPY THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE.
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"No, I think I'll stay a while longer, with FATHER looking for me," 13 says, smiling falsely.
"Now, who would like to try my potatoes a la BBQ?"
The door to the restaurant opens loudly, and an angry, red-faced Mal strides in. Ignoring the maitre'd, he makes his way over to Pain.
"Got any clue where 13's at?" he whispers furiously. "Cops breathing down our neck at the docks, and-" He notices Ertia pointing at 'Clementine.'
"Ertia, who's..." 13 smiles weakly, raising his hands in the air. Mal's jaw drops to the floor.
"You got me, Mal."
"13, could you possibly locate your sanity and get back to Serenity?!"
"Um, Mr. Richards." The maitre'd makes an appearance. "We cannot compensate for the..unexpected patronage of your father. He does not fit the, erm, dress code." The man looks up and down Mal's long duster, nose upturned.
"Dress code? Exactly what's wrong with what's hanging off my back?"
"Mr. Richards, please. No offense to your daughter Clementine," (13 mouths, 'ME.') but she herself is barely of adequate appearance to be served here."
"Barely adequate?" 13's smile is now wiped off his face. "BARELY ADEQUATE?" His voice booms across the restaurant, and Pain quietly screams, "That isn't the most *ladylike* of you, Clementine."
"I really couldn't care less, Pai-Donavon. Why, I oughta..." 13's hands ball into fists, and he rises from his wheelchair, eyes bright with electricity.
The maitre'd is sweating quite profusely.
"Clementine, I suggest you sit down," Mal barks.
13 blinks, realizing he's standing. "Oh, yes, of course. Erm, uhmm: 'Oh, my spine! Doth suffer from injury! Dearest father, can you not fetch my medicine?'
"I'll fetch your medicine, alright," Mal strips off his duster, rolling his sleeves.
"Sir, if you continue with the intention to harm your daughter, I'll have to force you to leave."
"SHE'S NOT MY DAUGHTER! I mean...she's dead to me anyway, what with the...booze and the men! Yes, that's what she is!"
As Mal, 13, and the maitre'd engage in a circle of flaming argument, Ertia and Pain hang their heads, and try to look pleasing to the onlooking patrons, simperingly sweet and apologetic smiles pasted to their faces.
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'It's Braedan. With an A.'
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Meanwhile, back on Serenity
Simon frowned at Wolf as he dumped the gremlin on the exam table next to the sleeping cat, but Wolf wisely left before Simon could voice his protests.
River looms over the creature, also frowning thoughtfully. "Not soft, or cuddly." She says firmly, her dark eyes unreadable. "Causes trouble. Won't get to eat from Kaylee's plate or sleep on Simon's bed. Wash won't talk baby-talk gibberish to it and let it play with his dinosaurs late at night. Mal won't pet it when he thinks no one is watching." River wrinkles her nose disapprovingly and repeats "Not cuddly."
She gathers the limp cat up in her arms protectively and turns to her brother. "Taking the cuddly one to our bunk. Keep her safe. Safer there, with me." As Simon opens his mouth to argue River sticks her tongue out at him, clearly enjoying teasing her older brother. "On your pillow." River tells him over her shoulder as she turns to leave.
Simon shakes his head bemusedly, knowing that nothing he says will make any difference to River. "Keep her on YOUR bed, please, River." he says, but his sister only sticks her tongue out at him again and wanders out, a spring in her step as she gently pets the furry bundle in her arms. "You can sleep on Simon's pillow." she promises the unconscious cat.
Simon sighs fondly at his sister's antics, but all the amusement is gone as he turns back to the creature on the exam table. Now he looks annoyed and put-upon, and Simon crosses his arms and grouses "Now WHAT am I supposed to do with you?"
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Meanwhile in the Chez Londinium
*Pain scratched his head, looked at Ertia appologetically, and said in a whisper*
You wanna leave 'cause I don't see this argument dyin' down anytime soon.
*Ertia wiped her mouth off with an expensive napkin and said in a hushed tone*
That seems like a plan.
*Pain motions for a waiter to come to the table. A younger looking man with neatly groomed black hair came to their table and said*
Can I help you sir?
*Pain nodded and said*
Could you bring us the check please and make it snappy.
*The waiter nodded and said*
Very well sir and what about them?
*Pain looked at 13 and Mal, who were still arguing with the other waiter and said*
Can you call secuirty and have them thrown out?
*The waiter smiled, nodded and said*
Indeed sir. I'll do that as I bring you your bill.
*Ertia looked at Pain and said in a hushed voice*
Are you really going to have the Captain and 13 escorted out by security?
*Pain smiled and said as four burly men in dress clothes surrounded 13 and Mal*
Looks like. Now come on let's get out of here before they notice.
*Pain and Ertia got up, every patrons eyes focused on the four security personel escorting Mal and 13 outside. Pain stopped the waiter with the bill, looked at, pulled out some Creds and said*
Heres 2,100 Credits plus a little extra for you and the other waiter who waited on us.
*The waiter looked at the large sum of cash and said with a smile*
Thank you sir. I hope you and the lovely miss come back under less stressful conditions.
*Pain looked at Ertia, smiled at her, then said to the waiter*
I think we may.
*Pain and Ertia left the restraunt as they heard 13 shout out*
Donovan! Are you just going to leave me and daddy here with these men! Donovan! Donovan!
*Pain said to Ertia as they headed for the shuttle*
Just ignore them babe soon we'll be relaxing in a nice hot bath in a plush hotel room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?
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"Cannot believe this," Mal grumbled as he and 13 made their way to the docks. "Look like a gorram pimp dragging around his man-whore."
"Come on, Mal, I don't look *that* bad," 13 smiles devilishly and attempts to link arms with Mal.
"I told you, stop doing that! Your creepy 'nough as it is, even without the makeup and...dress."
"Just like watching you squirm."
"You got no shame, boy. Stealing a wheelchair and clothes from a respectful woman? Damn lucky I weren't there, lemme tell ya."
"You would've done the same."
"That was one time, and it was special circumstances!"
"Yeah, tactics, right?"
"Damn right! Don't go impugning my manliness. Now, let's just get back to Serenity and forget this whole gorram business ever happened, alright, Clementine?"
"Let's just hope Pain and Ertia keep quiet, too."
Arriving at Serenity, 13 and Mal are greeted by Inara.
"Huh, that was a little quick. Guess that one didn't have as much bang as his buck, huh 'Nara?"
"*Her,* actually." She coughs behind her hand, eyes flittering between Mal and 13. "I never thought you one for that sort, Captain."
"Wha? No, no, you got it all wrong! See, 13-you know what? It's a story best left buried. Let's just try not to have too much trouble." Mal stomps his way to his bunk, leaving 13 and Inara standing awkwardly in the cargo bay.
"So." Inara's face is prim, lips pursed.
"Look, I'm gonna go get this off my face, and you're going to head to your shuttle, and nobody will ever know any of this ever happened. Agreed?"
"Agreed."
What 13 doesn't notice as he walks away is a hiding River, a camera held tightly in her hand.
-------------------------------------------------
'It's Braedan. With an A.'
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in the hotel londinium restaraunt.
*the diner over, wolf and kaylee went to the bar and decided to get severly drunk.*
45 mins later
wolf" 'ow 'bout u then? u drnk yet?"
kaylee" yesh i fink show, i'm shorney!"
wolf" wah'?"
kaylee" take me to bed."
*wolf picks her up like the hero picking up the damzel, exept for the fact that they are completely drunk.*
kaylee" woah!"
wolf" careful there."
*they stumble up to wolfs room and calaps on the bed, imeadiatly grasping each other and enjoy the sweet embrace of each others flesh.*
3mins later
*out side the room a waiter is walking down the hallway, there is a gasp and a moan of pleasure from their room. the waiter tuts and keeps walking.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
98% OF TEENS HAVE SMOKED POT, IF YOU ARE ONE ON THE 2% THAT HASENT, COPY THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE.
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man, have I been out of it
*makes his way to the infirmary to check on the strange mutation*
Guy: well, my little, er... thing ifn' you so much as look at the kitty in a way that might be perceived as threatening i will empty the cylinder of my magnum into your head before you can blink, dong mah?
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature
I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.
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