Male and Female Imponderables--the Eighth (?)
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Saturday, June 24, 2006 05:26
VIEWED: 16744
PAGE 20 of 20
Merciful Zeus, we're back. :huge sigh of relief: I've missed us tremendously. 
PR: IMO, you can rebuild trust in some relationships. But the thing that sticks out to me from your post is that this guy said some awful things to you. That in my book is a deal breaker....forever. There are ways to break up with someone, even if you "panic," that don't involve tearing the other person down. It's called owning your "sh&t." You don't villify the other person because you freak out.
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Huzzah to Haken and his resuscitation of the site, and a happy Serenity Day to you all! :)
JamesTheDark: I've been down the uncomfortableness road, too. Man, all that teenage angst took quite a long while to wear off. I'm still don't like being around lots of people I don't know, but it's something you can get used to. Best advice is what Mal4Prez said. Everyone else is just looking for people to like them, too. Those with low self-esteem are just looking for someone to like them, and the more conceited types will always want more confirmation of their grandness :) For me, once I realized that most people were wondering how I felt about them as vice versa, it got alot easier.
Far as looking for a special lady-friend: I'd recommend taking things one at a time. Worry less about how you're going to meet that someone special, and start meeting people period :)
PhoenixRose: You have the right to talk to this guy when you are ready to. Just because the guy's got regrets doesn't mean he's changed, and just because he writes you doesn't mean you have to respond. Either way, *hug* 
Alright, those are my two cents, at least. Stay shiny, guys.
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You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)
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to everyone! I knew you'd understand.
Yes, he is a certifiable idiot. Yes, he is a cop-out. Yes, he can't own his shit in any form. No, I don't want the possibility of that kind of panic in a relationship and I know that history tends to repeat itself. No, he had no right to contact me, but in a way I'm glad he did. It means he's finally figuring out that he messed up. Really messed up. Maybe he'll actually learn something from this.
The horrible things he said to me weren't really vilifying, they were just untrue and hence very hurtful. I still have the first e-mail he sent me and could show you all exactly what he said. You might have to know me pretty well to know why a few things were as hurtful as they were, but you can get a general idea:
I understand how you feel Rose. I hope you understand how I currently feel that we should not pursue each other romantically right now.
Lately I have been feeling trapped. Trapped by my
responsibilities, trapped by my parents, trapped at the hospital, and even trapped by my commitments to you. I have never found it easy to talk about being trapped, because I feel like I wont be understood. I cant even claim to know why I feel trapped, all I know is that I feel like the walls are closing in on me.
As for you and me; I feel that our lack of common interests is interfering with our personal growth. I feel that we block each other creativily. The whole time we have been together you have written nothing new, and I have not been drawing much either.
Our lack of spontanueity is another concern, the most unpredictable thing we have ever done is drive up to that one mountain town last time I visited. I believe we fell in with each other because we were both lonely at the time. We gave each other the company we thought we needed at the time, but as we continued I began feeling like the only thing we were doing for each other was keeping each other from feeling alone. It
bothered me that you haven't made any new friends since I met you. Your lack of a social life is unhealthy, and using me as an excuse is even unhealthier. I care about you Rose, and feel that I am less good for you than you think. You constantly worry about me, which causes you to stress out more than you should. I am sorry that you dont want to try to be the better friends that we could be for each other.
I am sorry that it has come down to this, but this is how I feel.
Your friend if you want,
Brandon
Basically, none of it is true. I could get into details, but I could just as easily say that none of it is true. Except the part where he says he's not as good for me as I thought. That part is true.
Here's the new one:
I want to say I am sorry for the pain I must have caused you. I wish I could better explain what was going on with me at that time. I can only say that I was feeling trapped. Not with you but with life in general, and I panicked. I didn't know who to talk to, or who I could trust with a good decision. I do wish that you had been more patient with me, but you are hardly to blame. I wasn't helping your uneasy feelings by acting the way I did. I truly wish I could take back what happened between us. And while I am sure you are not very fond of me. Know that I still love you, and wish you the very best in life. I do wish we could be friends, but I know that is not something you want to deal with. I wish I could ask for your forgiveness for what I did, but I am sure you wont give that either, and I will understand if you do not respond to this at all. I just want to get my feelings out there as I feel they are weighing me down.
With Love,
Brandon
All I can say is that he has a lot of nerve. In a lot of respects. Bah!
Do you think he'll really understand if I don't reply, or will it eat at him? Because really, if this is all it would take to clear his conscience then that's pretty weak. See how he doesn't even say he's sorry for spitting on what we had and acting like it was no big deal? See that? Doesn't
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I'd be tempted just to send him a very short (poison) sweet message saying something along the lines of 'well you've got a nerve. Deal with it yourself'
But please don't take my advice, listen to just about everyone before me, cause I don't seem to be giving out very good advice lately.
Don't loose your dignity and don't give him any outs. (but also, see just above)
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Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt
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I have started a new thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=21738
Hope to see you all there!
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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