Male and Female Imponderables--the Eighth (?)

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Saturday, June 24, 2006 05:26
VIEWED: 16744
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PHOENIXROSE

Friday, June 23, 2006 1:47 PM

Imponderables lovelies, I need your advice. I need your advice badly.
My ex of doom has writtem to me and now I don't know what to do. I just have no idea how to respond. I'm completely pissed off and almost more hurt than I was after his original e-mail adventure. What should I do???

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TRISTAN

Friday, June 23, 2006 1:55 PM

PR, what are your feelings towards him? Another thing, do you want to be in contact with him?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

PHOENIXROSE

Friday, June 23, 2006 2:08 PM

I don't know that I'd really be able to describe how I feel about him. He said some very horrible things to me in his original e-mail, things I don't want to forgive him for. Everything in that damn message seemed like it was hand-crafted to insult and hurt me as much as possible. He made me angrier than anyone's ever made me. I don't know if I could ever trust him in any way again. I've wondered many times what exactly it was we had, if I was just creating a fantasy in my head or something since we seemed to remember such different things about our relationship. I've wondered if I ever actually meant anything to him at all. But at the same time I know that I couldn't have just been making it all up, and I miss what we had so much it hurts. But it was all built on trust, and I can't trust what he says because he's said too many different things. If he hadn't ever written what he did, it would be different. I don't know if I want to be back in touch with him because I don't know what I want. I don't even know what's real when it comes to him. I'm angry and I'm crying and I want to tell him off and GORRAMMIT HE HAS RUINED MY DAY!

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TRISTAN

Friday, June 23, 2006 2:19 PM

PR, do not let your day be ruined. FFF.net is back! All other things are shiny! Do not let someone's words ruin your day. You have moved beyond him; you are in a happier place. The important thing to remember is that he is an "EX"...he has no bearing on your current life...unless you let him. You have the ability to ignore him, or laugh in his face. Trust is an issue. Once you no longer trust someone, that is the end of it. Trust is not something to be idly tossed aside, and this is what he appears to have done. Not something that can be rebuilt easily.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

PHOENIXROSE

Friday, June 23, 2006 2:26 PM

He claims he panicked. What kind of claim is that?

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TRISTAN

Friday, June 23, 2006 2:39 PM

PR, that is a chickens**t way of saying he got caught in something he did not want to be caught in and was seeking a way out.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

PHOENIXROSE

Friday, June 23, 2006 2:45 PM

You're more than likely right. I just still wish it hadn't gone down the way it did and have convinced a part of myself that I could change it if I talked to him.
I have to go, must go get paycheck so I can buy Serenity. Might be back later on and if not, then tonight after the movie.

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TRISTAN

Friday, June 23, 2006 3:42 PM

PR, we will be here when you return!

Alright, before all the troubles began, where were we? I think the last thing we were playing with was picture-posting...then the site went wonky.

Anyone have anything?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

MAL4PREZ

Friday, June 23, 2006 4:28 PM

Yay! Back to the imponderables! I tried posted a few times this week, but it failed and I gave up.

PR - maybe he did panic, but whatever he wants to call it, do you really want that in a relationship? I think you can do better.

Jamesthedark - I know what you mean, kids in school and wicked mean and they tend to go after whoever's weak. They did it to me too, before I learned to defend myself. It sets a bad self-image that lasts a looong time.

I got some really good advice recently, and I'm seeing the positive effects of applying it. It's hard to do but it works, here we go:

*people like to be liked*

That's it! It's a scary thing to do for folks like us who've been burned, but it's so true. If you can respond to new people with something like joy at anything about them, it wins them over. You get stuck in a viscous cycle when you are sure people will be mean, and you receive them with a wall up.

For example - I take dance class, and tend to be shy around the really beautiful/well-trained dancers. But I've been trying to just smile when I catch their eye, instead of looking away, and voila - I've gotten to be friends with a few! Shocker!

Really, other people are like you, looking for acceptance. Take control and offer something good to them, and they will react in kind. I think that's why this site is so good, people offer love and welcome without question.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.[/i

SERYN

Friday, June 23, 2006 5:01 PM

PR, i'm pretty certain he's a certifiable idiot. Where's his house and how quickly can the Vigilante Shaving Party be there?

I can't help but think that he had no right to contact you like that, theres no way he can believe that writing more letters wouldn't hurt you, and yup, saying he 'panicked' is the cop out.

So Rejoice in the ressurection of FFF.net and look, here's a shoulder for you to cry on until you feel better.

*hugs* for you.

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Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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