So Joss' car breaks down outside your house.....

POSTED BY: TheSomnambulist
UPDATED: Thursday, May 25, 2006 19:48
VIEWED: 12927
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SCORPIONREGENT

Monday, May 22, 2006 12:25 PM

I have fixed cars for a living so I would probably get my tools and fix his car, granted he would trust a complete stranger to do so. This with the understanding that the problem wouldn't take more that two or three hours to fix and required no parts. If he wanted to talk shop while I was tinkering that would be cool, otherwise he could hangout in my living room. He'd see Firefly and Serenity in my DVD collection and know he was in home of a browncoat. When I got finished, I would refuse any payment, saying only that it's all taken care of and that I like his work. If the man decides I'm a useful sort and wants to hire me as a PA that would be great, but I wouldn't push it.

Scorpion Regent

CHOO1701

Monday, May 22, 2006 12:33 PM

Well mainly freak out, give him a cuppa and discuss useless stuff in short, awkward conversation. And proberly piont him in the direction of the car garage down the road...

oh, and be too scared to ask him too sign my Firefly DVD's.....

what iwant to know is what would Joss do if broke down outside his house

SAMEERTIA

Monday, May 22, 2006 4:20 PM

I'd probably fix his car, then ask him if I can come work on his next project, using the "I'm handy with tools" line.

MAL4PREZ

Monday, May 22, 2006 5:24 PM

I'd apologize for my long distance not working and cry as he goes to my neighbor's house.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

KNIBBLET

Monday, May 22, 2006 6:15 PM

I'd do what I could to fix his car (spent 10 years fixin Uncle Sam's jet fighters) and invite him to take his rest in my living room.

My dogs and cats would bug the crap outta him so he'd escape to the relative safety of me working on the car.

I'd tell him that I admire his work and wish him luck in the future. Then, before I sent him off on his merry, I'd beg the favor of signing all my copies of Firefly and Serenity ... and the comics, and the posters. :)

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/MN-Firefly/ Big Damn Shindigity Good Time
http://www.fireflytalk.com - Big Damn Podcast

CHRISMOORHEAD

Monday, May 22, 2006 6:49 PM

I'd probably give him something to drink, with drugs in it of course. Then while he was unconscious, I'd glue a wig on his head.. a red wig, because I have an affection for redheads. I'd also probably put a dress on him, something like the one River was wearing in Jaynestown and Objects in Space.

When he woke up, he'd be tied to a bed, which is very tricky because I don't own one. I'd probably have to murder my neighbors and take over their house, hide their bodies in the closet or something. From that point on, it would be like the book/movie "Misery", except with good ol' Jossy wearing a wig and a dress. And barefoot. He's gotta be barefoot.

I'd make him write out 10 more season of FireFly, and 2 sequels to Serenity. I'd then act out all the roles on a video camera myself, except for the part of River Tam which I would have him play when his ankles were in between being broken (You gotta see the movie "Misery"). There'd of course be totally original dialogue written by me for my own character, Brutus, who gets introduced in season 3 of FireFly.

"I remember back when I was with the 1st and 7th SFG. It seems like centuries ago. We went into a village to inoculate the children there, and when we left, one of the village elders came running up to us. He was crying. He couldn't see. They had come and cut off every inoculated arm and threw them in a pile. A pile of little arms. I wept like some grandmother, I wanted to rip out my teeth... I didn't know what I wanted to do. But then it hit me, like a diamond bullet, and I thought 'my God, the genius of that. The will to do that.'. These men, men who were filled with love, men who had families... moral men who could do that without feeling or emotion because the situation called for it. Trained cadre. If I had ten divisions of men like that, our war would have been over very quickly."

TOTALLY original dialogue. And anybody who wants to argue, just remember: I have more wigs.

So anyways, when I was finished filming, I'd send all the episodes to FOX. And they'd be like, "Wow, this is great stuff." and invite me in for a meeting. At the meeting, I would proceed to cut off the head of every executive I could find, and leave it on the end of a pike. There'd be a big board room full of FOX execs heads sitting on pikes in the arrangement that they usually sit in (now THAT'S comedy). I'd take the bodies home with me, because Jossy would need some sort of sustenance by this time.

After the bomb I planted blew FOX studios off of the map, there would be no legal repercussions to having another network (I'm thinking Sci-Fi, but I'm also open to other options) pick up the show, which they would. Jossy would subsequently be set free after I gave him a bath, which I would be sure to do since he would have no time to bathe while writing the scripts. Stinky Jossy Whedon! I'd scrub him good, all behind the ears and stuff.

After FireFly made it's comeback, me and Jossy would be good friends and laugh about all the times I broke his ankles. It would seem so long ago and so worth it by that time, he's almost HAVE to laugh.

SOULQUAKE

Monday, May 22, 2006 6:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Honestly, after I blurted out "Omigodyou'rejosswhedonthisissocool!" I'd ask him if he was lost. I live in suburbia, on a street that doesn't really lead anywhere except more suburbia, so I would wonder what the heck he was doing here.

Heh, come to think of it, I'd have to ask the same thing. I live on an air force base O_o

---
"Sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I ate the bits, the bits stayed down, and I work. I function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away."

AGATSU

Monday, May 22, 2006 11:40 PM

Oh, Chris, I have tears of laughter in my eyes while I'm writing this... hi-larious.

BROWNCOATS UNITE!

FIREFLYFOREVERX7

Monday, May 22, 2006 11:46 PM

I would litterally attack him talking so fast he wouldn't understand a word I'm saying. I'd probobly start crying out of excitement. Come to think of it this might scare him away...I might just have to set a trap of some sort....

CAROlYN*

RIVER6213

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 12:07 AM

I would offer drinks and food to him, and then thank him for Firefly, Serenity,Angel and Buffy, and then I would have unprotected sex with him. I would definitely make him sign my Firefly, DVD box set. I would feed him again then call a tow-truck for his car and a taxi for him, and wave goodbye as he and his car were driven off.

I would of course become pregnant and have his baby, but I would never tell Joss about it, or let him know about it in any way. I would have my own Firefly baby.

That would work for me.

River

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