Male and Female Imponderables Part IV
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Monday, May 22, 2006 13:18
VIEWED: 28190
PAGE 12 of 19
comes out of lurking mode
He told you. He was honest. And that's the best part of all!
I've identified as "open-relationship" for quite a while now. I've had primary lovers and 'ummm...friends' and occasional fun-dates.
The key is honesty, with your partners and with yourself. It can be a shocker to suddenly learn that your umm...friend just slept with someone else when you weren't prepared to hear it, but I'd much rather hear the truth than be told a lie!
And by the same token, he has a right to know if your feelings about him or about the relationship change.
So... here's a question for you. Are you seeing other people, too? And have you discussed that with him? I find I'm far less liable to feel hurt and left out when I'm having fun, too.
Just a point of note; my primary and I have a "24 Hour" clause. Spontaneous things happen sometimes, and we work through those, but for the most part it's "I've got a date Saturday, and I want to play with this person. Are you comfortable with that?"
(Safer-sex is always a MUST! No matter what else is happening. 
)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Veteran:
What I remember most about her (besides that she looked a lot like Gina) was that we had good synergy and would often climax together. That happen to anyone else much?
I've almost always had that happen to me. I don't know if anyone remembers me talking about my last boyfriend's full-body orgasms, but I would always have one too. And then during sex I would come with him as well. Basically every time, except once I think.
I've missed a lot again! Most of it was talk from tall women, though. I am a fairly petite girl and am lucky if my dates don't tower over me. I try not to base whether I would date someone on height, but really I don't always like it when they're a lot bigger than me. Ex was 5'10" and that was about right.
Deal breakers? Have to say fanatical Christians are not a group I would date. Probably even just practicing Christians. Views would clash so badly that it wouldn't work (yes, speaking from experience here. Sorry if I sound like a horrible person.) or if I caught them in a lie. Don't date liars. Basically not respecting my views or not cherishing my trust. Or if they hated Firefly.
I have a healthy diet and all, but I do eat meat. Don't think it has anything to do with anything, but to each their own.
Totally agreeing with Sameertia on the honesty thing here. Can't give advice on "friends" like that cuz I've never done it, but honesty is good, is possitive, and if you're enjoying it...*shrug* Also agree with the testing thing.
It's so good to be back at this discussion! Did I miss anything?
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One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.
Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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Well I am just gonna stay over here in the corner for the short girls. All 5'4 of me 
Deepgirl - I have absolutely nothing to say to people I don't know. I am horribly shy, but if I am at work, or somebody does something to a loved one - you can't shut me up. I guess its just that I am not good at small talk, and don;t want to bore people.
NV - WOW 7 years? I thought the last year for me was a long time. I will tell you though, that I am enjoying this time by myself. I am learning alot about myself and about what I do and do not want!
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FMF-You're not short, you're average.
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I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"
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Thanks Sameertia and PhoenixRose! Your advice makes me feel lots better. I honestly thought I'd have a lot more people disapproving of me but I'm glad that you're all sweet and openminded!
I was a bit worried that some complicating possessive feelings might have crept up on me unaware but something Sameertia said got me thinking. No I am not in any other relationship at the moment (or even close to being) and I think this is what I'm feeling jealose about, That I'm the stay-at-home boring fall-back option whilst he's out there having fun. I think it'd be best all round if I found myself a proper relationship (I know, easier said than done! Maybe I'll meet someone through PhoenixRose's singles thread!) and we went back to being just friends. At the moment it does feel a bit unequal.
By the way, thanks for pushing me to ask about the safe sex. It had crossed my mind but I didn't want to offend him. Now I realise that I have every right to know!
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Oh my, take a couple days off from the 'boards and looks like I've slept through most of two or three whole sequels to the imponderables :)
Just a couple brief responses to a wide range of topics here:
Cuddling: Yes please! I've sort of got intimacy issues sometimes that I'm trying to work through. Being comfortable enough to just hang out and curl up together is usually a good sign to me that things are going good. Plus... why not? Sometimes wish I could detach my inside arm, but an occasional limb falling asleep is a small price :P
Piercings: I'm OCD. I can't even wear a hat or glasses 'cause they bug me. So no jewelry for this guy. Not a huge fan of piercings on women, either. Current GF has a tongue stud, and I'm not a huge fan but I'm learning to cope.
Deal-breakers: Well, on the subject of piercings... It's possible that one of those "other" piercings could be a deal-breaker. I love tattoos on women, but piercings just seem odd to me. Like if something like that had "occured" naturally, like a tumour or something, I'd get it removed (not have it jewel-encrusted). Being in my mid-20's, though, I have to realize I'm sort of out-numbered, though. I suppose I'm a tad archaic for this century. So who knows... I really hate those belly-piercings, though, even though they seem to be growing ever more prevalant. . 
Anyways, just trying to get caught up again. 
Not like I can pass up a chance to throw my opinions into the mix.
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You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)
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Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Well I am just gonna stay over here in the corner for the short girls. All 5'4 of me
I'm 5'3'', myself. Hail to the short women!!! (then again, just once I'd like to buy a pair of jeans and not have them drag on the floor
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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
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I am lucky in that I have really long legs. Its the rest of me that is short
I come from a family of 5'7" women and men over 6'
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Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
I'm 5'3'', myself. Hail to the short women!!! (then again, just once I'd like to buy a pair of jeans and not have them drag on the floor
Dragging on the floor is better than dorky high waters!! Today I'm wearing very my favorite jeans, they're xlongs and I have to give them a good 3 inch cuff, and I love it!! This never happens!!
You guys are too funny, "Getting off" for Orgasm Day. Anyone happen to know which day it is? Maybe the same as Talk like a Pirate Day?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.
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There's two sets of genes in my family. The short/fat gene and the tall/skinny gene. Guess which one I got?
Speaking of such things, I have a question that may have already been answered. I've heard that some men like a little extra padding on their women-folk. So out of curiosity, what do the men on this board prefer?
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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
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