A love letter from Tehran...
POSTED BY: Khyron
UPDATED: Wednesday, May 10, 2006 21:24
VIEWED: 3593
PAGE 1 of 3
... and the White House rejects it.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4752613.stm
Seeing as there hasn't been any information on what was actually in the letter, I see no alternative but to come up with some possible scenarios ourselves 
.
Personally, I think Ahmedinejad probably watched some South Park the day before and tried something along these lines:
"Dear Mr George W. Bush,
Your American penis, soooo biiig!!! My penis... so very small :(. You have such... gargantuan penis! Men like us with tiny penis no can build nuclear weapon. Only colossal American penis can build nuclear weapon!! Hoh... colossal penis, so big!"
Would have probably worked better had Clinton still been there.
Anybody else have any ideas what could have been in the letter?
Other people can occasionally be useful, especially as minions. I want lots of minions.
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It said (something like):
" You do not want to kill women and children here with fallout from an attack. Please send UN personell to discover that our Nuclear weapon production is non-existent. We will co-operate. Allah will give you your just rewards, either way.
I'm sure that you are a nice infidel. We will give you fine women and horses. Let's talk."
But Bush don't want co-operation, he wants another enemy and a greater foothold.
Ahh, just guessin' Chrisisall
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I'll take a stab (although I can't guarantee that it'll be as funny as yours).
Dear Mr. Bush,
It has come to our attention that you have been getting briefings about our country from former Vice-President Dan Quayle. I would like to make a minor correction to what he's been telling you. It's an N. Not a Q. I hope this clears up any desire on your part to invade our country.
Cheers,
Mr. Ahmadinejad
PS Our oil is really quite weak. More like Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Not even good enough for deep frying. Honest.
PPS I think some of our supporters have a lot in common. Would you please have your right wing nuts call my right wing nuts? Maybe they can do lunch.
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Well, it didn't say anything about nuclear issues, from what we're being told. And the fact that it comes on the eve of the U.N. nearing a vote on possible sanctions against Iran, the timing seems suspect , at best.
People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy. - Joss
" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chrisisall:
We will give you fine women and horses.
Maybe he would have responded better if they offered fine men and lap dogs.
More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.
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Dear Mr. Bush!
Listening! You not nuke Iran! Please! Iran´s not threatening mighty U.S., because Portugal and Mexico are going to win goup D! Giant Americanos theoretically becoming 2nd in group E behind nice country of pasta, meaning you probably encounter winner of group F, which will be Brazil most likely. So, if you want to make it to the quarter-finals, I suggest, you nuke “Brazil” instead of “Iran”. I send you map as well, where I marked Brazil with an “X”.
Yours truly,
A.
Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.
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Quote:lol, that was pretty good, Soup.
Originally posted by SoupCatcher:
It's an N. Not a Q. I hope this clears up any desire on your part to invade our country.
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Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
Well, it didn't say anything about nuclear issues, from what we're being told. And the fact that it comes on the eve of the U.N. nearing a vote on possible sanctions against Iran, the timing seems suspect , at best.
Its not suspect at all. Its outright unprecidented. Its like an insight into the mind of Hitler on the eve of the invasion of Poland.
The letter condemns democracy and western institutions. It accuses Bush of covering up Isreal's role in 9/11 and bashes America's commitment to Isreal. It talks about history and philosophy...probably denying the WW2 extermination of the Jews and then advocating the contemporary extermination of the Jews.
Its 16 pages of crap that says contains nothing but baseless lies, meaningless philosphical rantings, and empty posturing.
Oddly its signed "PirateNews".
H
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Ahmadinejad's Letter to Bush
Tuesday, May 9, 2006; 2:54 PM
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has written President Bush an 18-page letter discussing religious values, history and international relations. Following is an unofficial translation from the original written in Farsi:
"Mr. George Bush, president of the United States of America
For some time now, I have been thinking, how one can justify the undeniable contradictions that exist in the international arena -- which are being constantly debated, especially in political forums and amongst university students. Many questions remain unanswered. Those have prompted me to discuss some of the contradictions and questions, in the hopes that it might bring about an opportunity to redress them.
Can one be a follower of Jesus Christ (Peace Be Upon Him), the great Messenger of God,
Feel obliged to respect human rights,
Present liberalism as a civilization model,
Announce one's opposition to the proliferation of nuclear weapons and WMDs,
Make "War on Terror" his slogan,
And finally,
work towards the establishment of an unified international community -- a community which Christ and the virtuous of the Earth will one day govern,
But at the same time,
Have countries attacked. The lives, reputations and possessions of people destroyed and on the slight chance of the presence of a few criminals in a village, city, or convoy for example, the entire village, city or convoy set ablaze.
Or because of the possibility of the existence of WMDs in one country, it is occupied, around 100,000 people killed, its water sources, agriculture and industry destroyed, close to 180,000 foreign troops put on the ground, sanctity of private homes of citizens broken, and the country pushed back perhaps 50 years. At what price? Hundreds of billions of dollars spent from the treasury of one country and certain other countries and tens of thousands of young men and women -- as occupation troops -- put in harms way, taken away from family and loved ones, their hands stained with the blood of others, subjected to so much psychological pressure that everyday some commit suicide and those returning home suffer depression, become sickly and grapple with all sorts of ailments; while some are killed and their bodies handed to their families.
On the pretext of the existence of WMDs, this great tragedy came to engulf both the peoples of the occupied and the occupying country. Later it was revealed that no WMDs existed to begin with.
Of course, Saddam was a murderous dictator. But the war was not waged to topple him, the announced goal of the war was to find and destroy weapons of mass destruction. He was toppled along the way towards another goal; nevertheless the people of the region are happy about it. I point out that throughout the many years of the imposed war on Iran Saddam was supported by the West.
Mr. President,
You might know that I am a teacher. My students ask me how can these actions be reconciled with the values outlined at the beginning of this letter and duty to the tradition of Jesus Christ (Peace Be Upon Him), the Messenger of peace and forgiveness?
There are prisoners in Guantanamo Bay that have not been tried, have no legal representation, their families cannot see them and are obviously kept in a strange land outside their own country. There is no international monitoring of their conditions and fate. No one knows whether they are prisoners, POWs, accused or criminals.
European investigators have confirmed the existence of secret prisons in Europe too. I could not correlate the abduction of a person, and him or her being kept in secret prisons, with the provisions of any judicial system. For that matter, I fail to understand how such actions correspond to the values outlined in the beginning of this letter, i.e. the teachings of Jesus Christ (Peace Be Upon Him), human rights and liberal values.
Young people, university students, and ordinary people have many questions about the phenomenon of Israel. I am
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