I need help! Family troubles and the like...
POSTED BY: JustShiny
UPDATED: Monday, March 13, 2006 16:37
VIEWED: 6861
PAGE 2 of 3
Throw up on their beds, no need for black bags.
--
I am Jack's username
Shoot first, the brass can sort it out later.
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"but honestly, it's not hers to give away or throw away."
You are 100% wrong on this. When you are a minor, you have NOTHING, you own NOTHING....except what your parent(s) allow you to have. That tv in your room? I can give it away to a homeless guy if I feel like it. All your clothes? I can rip them all up in to cleaning rags if the mood strikes me. Your Xbox? Nintendo DS? I can sell them and buy myself a day at the spa. Lets say I let you keep your toys...that electricity flowing to your room to run those toys is paid for by ME...not you!
True, only a jerk parent would do some of those things, but as long as a parent provides food, clothing, shelter, health care...YOU OWN NOTHING! A parent who doesn't know this is an idiot. A child who thinks he has power when he is a minor can be a monster. If you are living at your parent's home, you are a dependent child. When you get your own apartment, pay for your own cell phone, your own car insurance, your own food...when you have responsibility, THEN you have power.
My oldest son had to have this reality pointed out to him once. ONCE. His room was stripped, his computer taken away, his car taken away, nothing but 2 pais of jeans, some underwear and socks, and a couple of shirts...his CD player, his iPod...it all went away until he had some respect and appreciation. Only took about 2 days for him to apologise, and another month to earn it all back. Now at 17 he is a nice young man looking forward to college instead of a disrespectful, arrogant snot.
~~~~~
"Funny and sexy. You have no idea. And you never will."
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to continue my ranting....
YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR KIDS FRIEND! Friendly to your kid...YES...but you are not their buddy. Stop acting like "one of the kids". You need to be a leader to your child.
Too many of my friends tried the "I want to be my kid's friend" route. Their kids are now idiots. They are young adults who are doing a very bad job of taking care of themselves and are in and out of bad relationships all the time. They get evicted for not paying bills, keep borrowing money from their parents, and some are even moving back in (now deeply in debt) when they should be out on their own.
Often these are kids who's parents divorced. Parents try the friend route so they wont have to be the bad guy compared to the other parent...or they feel guilty for breaking up the family and try the friend thing, thinking this will make up for the broken home.
It doesn't work people.
~~~~~
"Funny and sexy. You have no idea. And you never will."
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I have no siblings, so I'm not sure what help I'll be....All I can say is to try to talk to them. I know it sounds corny and too much like a therapist, but when my friend(s) are being so ta ma duh annoying/ungrateful/insert word here, I sort of confront them. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't like confrontations usually and fights, but here's a situation: My bff is so your stereotypical teenager (rolling eyes, heavy sighing, "Mom you're sooo annoying" etc...) that I often feel sorry for her mom. Onw day, I think I said something like, "Paige, y'know, you and your mom don't get along very well." Or something to that effect. I personally think she envies how my mom and I are so close, but that's something different. She kinda sighed and said, "Yeah, I know. She's just so hard to get along with y'know?" Nicely, politely, and stepping-on-eggshells-ly (yes, I made up a new word, so what? 
) I tried to tell her that it's not all her mom's fault....You never know how it'll work out until you try. And if you already have and I haven't read close enough, sorry.
Oh, and UnregisteredCompanion? I beg to differ. My mom has to play the "tough love" card every now and again b/c she is the mother, but she and I are sooo close. We share similar tastes (she's a converted Browncoat!) in movies/music/tv shows and I can talk to her about everything and anything. We share the love of a car, an open window, good music, and an empty road so much that we frequently take meandering drives just to see what's down such-and-such road. And she and my dad have been together many, many years and are still happy. But maybe it just depends on the people and situation.
Just my 2 cents.
Hope things work out okay for you, JustShiny.
~ForeverShiny~
An Unreasonable Believer
~~~~~~~~~~~
Can't Stop The Signal.
"Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughtta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her a home."
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Close is great. Not being in charge so your kid wont be mad at you...that is totally different. Glad you and your mom are doing it a healthy way :D
~~~~~
"Funny and sexy. You have no idea. And you never will."
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Ohhhh...right. That is totally different, I agree. Sorry for the mix-up. :-D
~ForeverShiny~
An Unreasonable Believer
~~~~~~~~~~~
Can't Stop The Signal.
"Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughtta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her a home."
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Thank you all for your advice.
While my bro and sis are still away, I've been trying to nicely point out to my mum what the problem is. And I feel like a poophead for telling her that the stuff she does/doesn't do (granted I'm not a mom), ain't workin, but I she hasn't yelled at me yet, which means she's listenin' to me. Plus, I got a view from the kids' side.
So I'll let ya know what happens, hopefully it'll end well. I think I'm going to have to have a little talk with my siblings, hopefully I won't have to throw-up on their beds. 
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Here's a gutsy move, if ya can pull it off. Guaranteed to put her in a better mood. Or, it can destroy everything in your life.
Get your mom a new husband. With a good job. Who isn't gay. Who's not a wife-beater. Who doesn't hate kids. Who isn't too weird. Who you can communicate with. Who isn't a psycho. Who's not a crook. Who's not half her age. Who doesn't pay half his income in alimony or child support.
Then get married yourself and move out. Similar rules. No psychos. No strippers. No companions. No junkies. No Prozac. No alcohol. Don't run away and join the Alliance. Get a good job and go to school. Work hard, play not so hard. Live in the real world. Figure out how to not give away half your income in taxes to the Alliance (own your own biz/tax shelter). Then you can afford to buy your mom nice gifts to cheer her up.
Good luck.
This distress wouldn't happen to be takin place in someone's pants, would it?
-Mal
Look they've got boy whores. How thoughtful.
-Kaylee
You folks are all insane! Does that seem right to you?
-Jubel Early
FIREFLY SERENITY PILOT MUSIC VIDEO (VERSION 2)
Tangerine Dream - Thief Soundtrack: Confrontation
http://radio.indymedia.org/news/2006/03/8912.php
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"Get your mom a new husband. With a good job. Who isn't gay. Who's not a wife-beater. Who doesn't hate kids. Who isn't too weird. Who you can communicate with. Who isn't a psycho. Who's not a crook. Who's not half her age. Who doesn't pay half his income in alimony or child support."
Are there any of those left?? I have a couple of girlfriends who have been looking for such a man for many years. No luck yet!
~~~~~
"Funny and sexy. You have no idea. And you never will."
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wow sounds like my house in a lighter tone....
well JustShiny there are 5 kids in our family and noone does anything sept me and i get all the blame....maybe cause im the middle child.....
how i get my siblings riled up to help out when my parents are under stress in post depression state is...
1. threaten to accedentaly throw somthing away..
2. hold a big 20$ bill infront of their faces...
3. call my grandparents to have a chat with sib.
4. stick sticky notes with house chores all over their walls....
5. volenteer to buy them lunch....
6. invite my friends over..(my brother does not like it when people come over and when they remark on how uckie the house looks)
7. if they cant through the garbage away then pile it up in their beds...or toss a bag of diry cat litter under their blankets
8. call a family friend and ask them over to talk
9. to make you mom feel better make something she likes...(draw a picture)...(write an i love you dont hate me letter)...(ask her how she feels)...(buy her flowers)...(sing her a song)...(hug her in the morning and tell her how pritty she looks)...(say i love you mom before going to school and when you come home)...(offer to do things like chores with out her asking first..)...(be an attention hog so you brother and sister will follow you lead to be more like you)....(buy her a thing of her fav chocolate) *chocolate has somehting in it that makes people have the same feeling like love*...
ya just so you know....
my house hold is scarey....
my 21 year old brother walks around in his whity tightys and palys ffxi online all day and does not care about anyhitng outside of his pethetic little room... my 19 year old brother plays video games in his room and thinks hes too smart for our family...I my self have add enough said...my lil bro whos 16 smells bad and like always defends my oldest brother... and Natti oh god our personalitys clash like water and lightning 
and she is a drama queen and does not know how to pick up her dishes that she leves on my computer desk that i do my art work at and it drives me nuts and Fruitcakes..... Im on a tangent sorry okay thats all............
The court of this obsession, is abstracted from possession which when the worlds of outside in fall.
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