Did You Hear About The Dyslexic, Atheist Insomniac?
POSTED BY: Calhoun
UPDATED: Friday, March 10, 2006 03:03
VIEWED: 24374
PAGE 5 of 7
A King suspected one of his Counts was plotting to overthrow him. He had the Count thrown in the dungeon and tortured. Even so, the Count wouldn't give up the rest of his co-conspirators.
The king enraged stormed down to the dungeon with the executioner right behind him.
"Talk!", he commanded but the Count just spat at him.
"Off with his head!", he said to the executioner.
The guards struggled to put the Count onto the chopping block. The executioner raised his mighty axe for the killing blow...
"Wait, I'll talk!" whimpered the Count. Too late, the axe had done its duty.
Furious, the king turned to the executioner and exclaimed.....
"How many times have I told you not to hatchet your Counts before they chicken!!!!!"
Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal!
Encore? Very well.
A baby seal walks in to club....
Andrew
www.browncoatsriseagain.com
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
Almost, but not quite. The proper quote is:
"Lysdexics of the world, Untie! You have nothing to choose but your lanes!" (Marl Karx)
Ya gots to get it wrong right.
"Hermanos! The Devil is building a Robot! Andale!" -- Numero Cinco
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If my roommates weren't asleep I would have fallen out of my chair laughing hysterically.
Quote:
Originally posted by RocketJock:Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
Almost, but not quite. The proper quote is:
"Lysdexics of the world, Untie! You have nothing to choose but your lanes!" (Marl Karx)
Ya gots to get it wrong right.
"Hermanos! The Devil is building a Robot! Andale!" -- Numero Cinco
_____________
Carry the Nuttin'
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Two prostitues are crossing the street. The first turns to the other and says, "No soap, radio."
I am also fond of the Golf Ball joke.
--------
"Putting the Me in Mercinary, Jayne Cobb."
"Joss, what is the future of television? What will we watch? And how will we watch it? Surely you must know, for you are wise, and slender."
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Did'ja hear the one about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil...
One woman with a certain hair color notices another woman of the same certain hair color walking on the opposite river bank from herself. She yells, "Hey! How can I get to the other side?"
The other woman replies, "Duh! You're already on the other side!"
Anonymously,
(Name Withheld To Protect Family From Reprisals)
_________________________________________________
"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mark:
Three men go into a pub...
I say three, it could be five or six...
Round it up, call it ten.
Ok, so, ten blokes go into a pub...
But lets not be picky or excluding.
Twenty men go into a pub, maybe even thirty or fourty...
The population of a small town in Scotland...
I say Scotland, it could be Wales...
Could even be a large town in Wales...
Ok, the population of Peterborough...
Plus Cambridge and Huntingdon...
Ok, ok, ok... The whole of London goes into the pub...
I say London, it could be New York...
Ok, Deli...
Maybe Luxembourg, it's only a toddler after all...
So Luxembourg... Plus Switzerland... Plus France and Germany go into a pub...
Why be elitist... The whole of Western Europe...
Plus Asia...
Plus America...
Ok... The entire population of the Earth goes into the pub.
The First guy gets the bar and says "I'll get the first round in."
What an idiot.
Nice.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper? Sold his soul to Santa.
---------------------
"Shiny. Let's be bad guys."
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The real problem with that joke is that I doubt dyslexia affects your thoughts. It's a visual problem, and therefore should not screw up your thoughts. Noone (unless there were extreme circumstances) could get the concept of a god confused with a dog (not an Atheist, and not even a Christian
)
"Spirituality is just one more way to distract yourself from who you really are."- George Carlin
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Quote:
Mark wrote:
Monday, March 06, 2006 06:59
Twelve spheres of unendurable brightness spalled the velvety blackness of space.
The silence on Lester Tourville's flag bridge was absolute
And then the spell was broken as Shannon Foraker looked up from her console from where she had just sent a seemingly innocent command to the main computers of State Security's finest Superdreadnoughts.
"Oops." She said.
I know the names Lester Tourville and Shannon Foraker.. but cant quite place where from..
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Quote:
Melam wrote:
Monday, March 06, 2006 23:29
Two prostitues are crossing the street. The first turns to the other and says, "No soap, radio."
I dont get it.. am I thick? :)
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Quote:
zoid wrote:
Tuesday, March 07, 2006 00:39
Did'ja hear the one about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil...
One woman with a certain hair color notices another woman of the same certain hair color walking on the opposite river bank from herself. She yells, "Hey! How can I get to the other side?"
The other woman replies, "Duh! You're already on the other side!"
Muahahahha, love'em!
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