Worst Firefly Cast
POSTED BY: ThePistonEngine
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 1, 2006 02:34
VIEWED: 21370
PAGE 9 of 9
Here is my worst cast - based on the Studios trying to tie into other franchises to boost box office.
Mal - Keifer Sutherland - Jack's back, he has a spaceship and the universe, but he is still tortured and alone.
Zoe - Pam Grier - Did I mention Whedon is out and Tarantino is in?
Kaylee - Pam Anderson She's a sexcrazed former tool time girl.
Book - William Shatner - He is a man with a past - or is it a future?
Jayne - John Travolta - It's the Tarantino thing again.
Inara - Julia Roberts - Of course, "Pretty Women" in space. Wait a minute - Richard Gere for Mal? Brilliant!
Simon - George Clooney - ER was never the same without him - Dr. Ross in space.
Wash - Jeff Gordon - California quirky NASCAR driver with a spaceship - lets fill drive ins all over the South
River - Dakota Fanning - Doesn't she have to be in everything? Plus she's box office gold!
Some Random Guy Who Gets Shot - Harry Whittington
Also, everyone has a pet husky
See how I'm not punching him, I think I've grown!
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Here is my worst cast - based on the Studios trying to tie into other franchises to boost box office.
Mal - Keifer Sutherland - Jack's back, he has a spaceship and the universe, but he is still tortured and alone.
Zoe - Pam Grier - Did I mention Whedon is out and Tarantino is in?
Kaylee - Pam Anderson She's a sexcrazed former tool time girl.
Book - William Shatner - He is a man with a past - or is it a future?
Jayne - John Travolta - It's the Tarantino thing again.
Inara - Julia Roberts - Of course, "Pretty Women" in space. Wait a minute - Richard Gere for Mal? Brilliant!
Simon - George Clooney - ER was never the same without him - Dr. Ross in space.
Wash - Jeff Gordon - California quirky NASCAR driver with a spaceship - lets fill drive ins all over the South
River - Dakota Fanning - Doesn't she have to be in everything? Plus she's box office gold!
Some Random Guy Who Gets Shot - Harry Whittington
Also, everyone has a pet husky
See how I'm not punching him, I think I've grown!
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Damn... I can actualy picture Eddie Izzard as a cross dressing Badger... LOL!
Biggest laugh so far: Book = Don King
"The hair would still be there. Waiting..." 
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Zoe: Whoopie Goldberg... Yikes!
Vaguely plausible (therefore truly frightning) BIG-budget cast
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Mal: Harrison Ford
Zoe: Halle Berry
Wash: Val Kilmer (Would you classify that as a launch problem?)
Inara: Angelina Jolie
Jayne: Vin Diesel
Kaylee: Drew Barrymore
Book: Morgan Freeman
Simon: Johnny Depp
River: Milla Jovovich
Badger: Eddie Izzard
Crow: The Rock
Niska: Donald Sutherland
YoSafBridge: Charlize Theron
Figure, just hiring this cast would put the movie at least double the budget without having shot a single frame of film or built a set or anything... ;)
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Mal: DB Sweeney
Jayne: DB Sweeney
Any acting role which requires human speech, emotion and honesty: DB Sweeney
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Mal - Quentin Tarantino
Inara - Jennifer Lopez
Jayne - Slyvester Stalone
Zoe - Whoopi Goldberg
Wash - Bobcat Goldplate
Kaylee - Brittney Spears
Simon - Ashton Kuther
River - Brittney Murphy
Book - Cedric the Entertainer
The Operative - Snoop Dog
Mr. Universe - Paul Walker
Even if shot with the same script, WORST!MOVIE!EVER!
"Son of a bitch."
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