Fireflyfans Dating Service

POSTED BY: FreelancePilot
UPDATED: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 02:29
VIEWED: 102395
PAGE 27 of 46

PREV PAGE 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 NEXT PAGE

GUTTERBALL

Sunday, February 19, 2006 2:57 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Sucking gets a girl a long way in my book. Up. Sucking up I mean. That too.

*snerks* I refuse to say a word. Especially not a pertinent word. Regarding sucking, ya know.

Up! Sucking up!

Quote:
Christ, even I want to slap me.

Heh, don't. Although it might be fun to watch you slap yourself, there's really no need. You're still crackin' me up, and what's a little blow-job talk between folks several states away?

Heheh...now everyone wants to slap ME.

Quote:
It's too bad you live in another country (not-Texas, I mean). I'm all ten kinds of entertaining if a girl lets me.

Yes, a cryin' shame. However, I'm quite sure there's an even dozen kinds of entertaining, so I'll be eagerly awaiting the arrival of those other two kinds.

Chop-chop.

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

BITTERBIERCE

Sunday, February 19, 2006 4:04 AM

Quote:

*snerks* I refuse to say a word. Especially not a pertinent word. Regarding sucking, ya know.

Well you shouldn't be saying anything to begin with if you're s...hey look! The GoodYear blimp!

Quote:

Yes, a cryin' shame. However, I'm quite sure there's an even dozen kinds of entertaining, so I'll be eagerly awaiting the arrival of those other two kinds.

Strangely enough, the last two both involve hand puppets....I've said too much.

Quote:
You're still crackin' me up, and what's a little blow-job talk between folks several states away?

Needlessly frustrating to the male of the two, that's what. It's cute and fun and all, banter and such. But it ain't fucking. Holy Hell, I cannot wait till monday. You should pity that woman's behind for what I'm going to do it.

Quote:
Heheh...now everyone wants to slap ME

Well yeah, everyone imagines smacking...oh, you mean SLAPPING slapping, like someone's face.

Jesus, I've only gone five days without and I'm already acting like a sailor after six months at sea. You're supposed to calm down as an adult when you're male, but I was never like this when I was 20. I don't remember thinking about sex all day every day when I was a young man. It's like I flipped on a switch or something. Well, at least I know why the Vikings rampaged six months out of every year now- a man could get used to pillage, plunder and taking girls at will. "Slave girls" is a concept that just rolls off the toungue with the greatest of ease.

I'm sorry, what was I saying?

GUTTERBALL

Sunday, February 19, 2006 4:25 AM

Sorry, I would've answered sooner, but I was busy getting over my fit of laughter. Ahem.

Quote:
Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Quote:
You're still crackin' me up, and what's a little blow-job talk between folks several states away?

Needlessly frustrating to the male of the two, that's what. It's cute and fun and all, banter and such. But it ain't fucking.

Aw, poor BB. Didn't mean to get your boxers in a twist. 'S just one of my favorite things, is all. I have no shame in talkin' about it.

And I do pity that poor woman's ass. *grin* I'm sure I should probably feel a share of the guilt, as well, but...*shrug*...again, I have no shame.

Quote:
Jesus, I've only gone five days without and I'm already acting like a sailor after six months at sea. You're supposed to calm down as an adult when you're male, but I was never like this when I was 20. I don't remember thinking about sex all day every day when I was a young man. It's like I flipped on a switch or something.

I will say that the first few weeks/months alone after a lengthy sexual relationship play havoc on the ol' hormones. When I left my fella of oh, five years, I had sort of a hard time adjusting to sexlessness.

Despite my banter, I don't spread it around, and damn if it didn't take a good year until I didn't think about boinking in some form or fashion first thing when I lay down at night.

...Sorry. That's probably not terribly encouraging.

Quote:
[G]I'm sorry, what was I saying?

*sigh* Ditto.

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

BITTERBIERCE

Sunday, February 19, 2006 5:54 AM

Quote:
Aw, poor BB. Didn't mean to get your boxers in a twist.

You're not getting my boxers in a twist. Not having sex for YEAR LONG DAYS is. When I talk to you, I'm thinking about sex, but then I am when I'm chopping carrots and walking the dog, too. I'm not built for this, it's cruel. It's like whipping a puppy for no reason- he's all happy and jumping about and then wham! cowering in a corner with sad confused eyes wondering why this is so cruel. I'm a puppy here. Why is someone kicking the puppy when I could be hitting the kitty? It's just not fair.

Quote:

And I do pity that poor woman's ass. *grin* I'm sure I should probably feel a share of the guilt, as well, but...*shrug*...again, I have no shame.

Right as I was reading that I decided -in your honor- to do something extra painful and sinful to it. I always wondered how your sex manages to get to sleep when your rear end hurts that bad, much less walking and going to work.

Quote:

Despite my banter, I don't spread it around, and damn if it didn't take a good year until I didn't think about boinking in some form or fashion first thing when I lay down at night.

...Sorry. That's probably not terribly encouraging.

Pah, doesn't mean a goddamn thing. I'll never go this long without again, it just means extending what I used to get occasionally on the side into as many times a day as I can manage. You didn't think I'd only have one infidelity, do you?

But since you spent five years with him, he's probably analagous for you to the more than four year's I spent with a girl back in my early twenties and in love. So in that case, screw that effer and the horse he rode in on.

I was the faithful type once, you know. Although neither of us cheated, I learned from her fidelity is for the birds. Get laid all you can, and get laid some you can't, too. Despite your slutty talk it was immediately apparent to me you weren't the type. You really should go out and try it, it's fun. When you crawl into bed you should be assured of someone crawling in on top of you.

This ends part one of our lecture series "Jim Tells It Like A ManSlut". Tune in next week for "KY or Just Let Her Scream?", a two part series discussing the difficult issues of our day.

GUTTERBALL

Sunday, February 19, 2006 6:50 AM

Once again, I would have posted sooner, but the laughing fit just wouldn't let me be. I'll endeavor to quit cracking up quite so badly.

As seriously as I can manage, I feel for you, man. Your body can be a cruel task-master. It thinks it needs what you can't give it, so it tortures you for the lack. Not fun.

And luckily for you, not permanent.

Quote:
Originally posted by BitterBierce:
When I talk to you, I'm thinking about sex...

You're such a sweet talker! Even an Ice Queen like me could almost hear her heart go pitty-pat!

Of course, since I have no heart, that's not really a problem.

Quote:
Why is someone kicking the puppy when I could be hitting the kitty?

Heheheh...I mean, awwwww....

Quote:
Originally by BitterBierce:
Quote:
And I do pity that poor woman's ass. *grin* I'm sure I should probably feel a share of the guilt, as well, but...*shrug*...again, I have no shame.

Right as I was reading that I decided -in your honor- to do something extra painful and sinful to it. I always wondered how your sex manages to get to sleep when your rear end hurts that bad, much less walking and going to work.

What can I say? We may be the weaker sex, but we sure can keep truckin after the rough-n-tumble. If I didn't think I'd be lynched for saying it, I'd almost say we were made just for a good, hard pounding.

*ducks and runs from flying objects*

Quote:
You didn't think I'd only have one infidelity, do you?

God forbid!

Quote:
I was the faithful type once, you know. Although neither of us cheated, I learned from her fidelity is for the birds. Get laid all you can, and get laid some you can't, too.

I've always been the faithful type, and I don't expect that'll change much any time soon, but only because I'm so determinedly single. I don't date much, and when I do, I'm usually thinking about how to get out of the next date.

Kinda clashes with the occasional need to throw down and get with the makin' it, don't it?

Quote:
Despite your slutty talk it was immediately apparent to me you weren't the type.

*grins* One of these days, you're gonna tell me how you can guess so much about me from my posts. Since half of what I say is bullsh*t and the other half is sarcastic, I'm impressed, to say the least.

Quote:
When you crawl into bed you should be assured of someone crawling in on top of you.

Strangely enough, that's one of the nicest things anyone's said to me. I do miss that part of sex almost as much as the rest. It's nice to be all crushed under someone. Cozy-like.

Amusingly enough, none of my friends can get me to admit that I miss sex, and here I don't know you from Adam. Funny ol' world, ain't it?

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

BITTERBIERCE

Sunday, February 19, 2006 9:11 AM

Now I’m up in the middle of the night for no good reason. I can only sleep well when I’m getting laid. Or I take ten Vicodin ES.

Quote:
“I've always been the faithful type, and I don't expect that'll change much any time soon, but only because I'm so determinedly single. I don't date much, and when I do, I'm usually thinking about how to get out of the next date.

Kinda clashes with the occasional need to throw down and get with the makin' it, don't it?”

You know, as a related thought without any joking content at all, I have a thought about your situation. You’d better make your mind to get up and back in the game soon. In ten seconds you’ll be ten years older and ten years less attractive as a woman and facing loneliness a hugely different way than a young woman like you faces it. I almost withdrew, allllmost went your way when She Disaster happened. Something snapped and I just went wholly the other way, I don’t know what it was, it was like a choice between good and evil, so I chose to give it good. And it was a lot easier for me because I’m a man and for some unfair cosmic reason women will still fuck us as we get older. Inasmuch as I’m catholic in my tastes for women, I have a couple awesome women friends who pain me to watch now, and these are fantastic women who aren’t too much older than you are. You’re 29 as of a few days ago, so I give you about two years, three on the outside to get out of that funk before biology makes that permenant decision for you. If you look like Carmen Elektra, I give you six years at the outside, but not a day over. The only other woman on earth who had options past that was Sophia fucking Loren. I’m at the doubly painful stage of looking at women my age who have lost options while I haven’t. By the way? That’s the same time your need to fuck as a woman goes through the roof. It’s your body’s way of trying to get one more baby out of you for the species. What a cruel joke that you want to fuck in direct opposition to your ability to get it.

Oh fuck. When did the laughs turn off? I promise, I will never again write a serious sentence. Move along, nothing to see here!

Quote:
“*grins* One of these days, you're gonna tell me how you can guess so much about me from my posts.”

I’m smart as all fuck and fucking me always smarts, that’s why. I try to have others toot my own horn but gorrammit Mal, I fucking rock. I’m, what’s the word? Pretentious. Cock of the walk. Arrogant, you might say. But then, women don’t fuck the wallflowers.

Quote:

“Strangely enough, that's one of the nicest things anyone's said to me”

Wow, your friends and lovers are pricks. I feel like I know them already.

Quote:

“I do miss that part of sex almost as much as the rest. It's nice to be all crushed under someone. Cozy-like.”

You know, that’s the part many women seem to want. The One used to request that I just get on top, limb on limb. Since I easily outweighed her by 100 pounds and unlike her my limbs are HEAVY I wondered why, but it made her very happy. She wanted me to sleep on top of her, which slightly scared me. You know, it doesn’t sound it, but laying on top of a woman after sex is a good time to ask her to marry you. I think she (at 6’1”!) just liked that I was taller than she was and tall women especially like to feel small and feminine.

Quote:

“Amusingly enough, none of my friends can get me to admit that I miss sex, and here I don't know you from Adam. Funny ol' world, ain't it?”

That is funny. When a woman says she doesn’t miss sex to me, I laugh at her and call her a bad liar. It never takes sixty seconds to get her shamefacedly to admit it really is a lie. The only truly odd sex is no sex.

You know, you’re pretty smart and witty to talk to. You know, for a girl.

GUTTERBALL

Sunday, February 19, 2006 6:58 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Now I’m up in the middle of the night for no good reason. I can only sleep well when I’m getting laid. Or I take ten Vicodin ES.

Ironically enough, I slept like a rock. And I'm an insomniac like no one's business.

Quote:
You’d better make your mind to get up and back in the game soon. In ten seconds you’ll be ten years older and ten years less attractive as a woman and facing loneliness a hugely different way than a young woman like you faces it.

You ain't lyin'. As of this moment, I'm nowhere near lonely. I'm not that type. But I am undersexed, due to the peculiar mix of morality and practicality that makes up my sexual code, as it were. I've been thinking lately that I need to...stretch that code a bit before what you describe comes to pass.

No fair that my sex drive -- which was already pretty jumpin' for a woman, unless all other women are lying -- will kick in just as I'm getting old enough to truly stay single without anyone else bitching about it.

Does that seem right?

Quote:
I almost withdrew, allllmost went your way when She Disaster happened. Something snapped and I just went wholly the other way...

If you wanna say, I'm kinda curious as to how that came about. You don't seem the terribly private type, but if I'm overstepping my bounds, feel free to tell me to bugger off. Curious is my middle name, and it sometimes makes me tactless!

Quote:
You’re 29 as of a few days ago, so I give you about two years, three on the outside to get out of that funk before biology makes that permenant decision for you. If you look like Carmen Elektra, I give you six years at the outside, but not a day over.

*grin* I'd give me four-ish. I'm no Carmen Elektra...but then again, who is?

Quote:
Oh fuck. When did the laughs turn off? I promise, I will never again write a serious sentence.

Hey, it's not just anyone who can be as intelligent and entertaining serious as comic. I don't mind either way. I enjoy being brutally frank, especially when I'm so rarely serious on any subject. It's...a novelty.

Quote:
I’m smart as all fuck and fucking me always smarts, that’s why. I try to have others toot my own horn but gorrammit Mal, I fucking rock. I’m, what’s the word? Pretentious. Cock of the walk. Arrogant, you might say. But then, women don’t fuck the wallflowers.

*grin* I really like you, man. You are somethin' else entirely.

Quote:

Quote:
“Strangely enough, that's one of the nicest things anyone's said to me”

Wow, your friends and lovers are pricks. I feel like I know them already.

Naw, not entirely. They just know me well enough to know I don't usually like compliments. They give me an uncomfortableness.

I really am a no-maintenance kind of girl. It weirds guys out because it's exactly what they think they want. Half of the reason I don't date -- the other half being that I'm entirely too independent for my own good -- is because I know I'm exactly NOT what any man in his right mind wants. I don't cling. I don't want anything -- except the sex, of course. I don't cry. I don't pander. Just can't do the Little Missus thing.

Quote:
I think she (at 6’1”!) just liked that I was taller than she was and tall women especially like to feel small and feminine.

Good Lord! So you HAVE been with a warrior woman! Heh, sorry...couldn't resist....

Quote:
The only truly odd sex is no sex.

Well, then I've been having truly odd sex for goin' on five years now. Don't have a conniption fit! For the middle two of those years, I could truly say that I didn't miss it. It wasn't constantly on my mind. I had other things to do.

But for the first year and a half and the last year and a half, it creeps in.

The last time a good-lookin' guy offered strings-free sex, I only turned him down because I greatly suspected it wouldn't be as string-free as he promised. See, he'd already told his mom

BITTERBIERCE

Sunday, February 19, 2006 10:43 PM

Quote:

Good Lord! So you HAVE been with a warrior woman! Heh, sorry...couldn't resist....

Nah, she was just right. A skinny buck and a quarter tops with tits*, she'd just filled out from a skinny childhood. Just the right time to get a girl, right before they know how attractive they are.

*- 120 is VERY skinny for a 6'1" girl. Especially one with boobs.

Quote:

You ain't lyin'. As of this moment, I'm nowhere near lonely. I'm not that type.

I'm tellin' ya, it gets different when you've lost options. I wouldn't say this if I hadn't seen a thousand "independent" women go through this. The reason you don't mind it is you're young and possibly a little hot. By the by? Look for the sex drive you have at 29 to double every year for the next ten years, just to frustrate you on top of it all.

Quote:

No fair that my sex drive -- which was already pretty jumpin' for a woman, unless all other women are lying -- will kick in just as I'm getting old enough to truly stay single without anyone else bitching about it.

Does that seem right?

Yes it does, so very right. I think it's Nature's way of recompense for the humiliation men face at being the askers and women the chosers. Ha fucking ha ha.

Quote:

*grin* I'd give me four-ish.

My, we think well of ourselves, don't we? Would we like a mint julep with that ego? You know, I really didn't take any of the sex talk seriously, but I do suddenly have an urge to put you in your place.

Quote:

I really am a no-maintenance kind of girl. It weirds guys out because it's exactly what they think they want. Half of the reason I don't date -- the other half being that I'm entirely too independent for my own good -- is because I know I'm exactly NOT what any man in his right mind wants. I don't cling. I don't want anything -- except the sex, of course. I don't cry. I don't pander. Just can't do the Little Missus thing.

Yeah yeah yeah I heard it all before, toots. They say that, then ten weeks later its "why haven't you called, Jiiimmmyyy?" on the answer machine. Which, I do have to admit, is one of the more satisfying pleasures of my life. I LOVE upending women's little pretentions.

You want to know the truth? There is no person so indepenedent or strong or smart they can't be floored by the opposite sex out of NOWHERE. I used to say the same thing -Hell, I still do after being PROVEN wrong, idiot that I am!- and a woman laid waste to me, crushing me totally. And I can't think of anything more funny in this entire universe than having a girl put me that low, as she surely did. How. Fucking. Funny.

You're saying that BECAUSE it's never happened to you, not that you're not vulnerable. With a bit o' luck, you'll be able to keep up that lie throughout your entire life. But ohhhhhhhhh the joys of watching our Too Cool For School type fall flat on our asses.

Quote:

Well, then I've been having truly odd sex for goin' on five years now.

I meant sexlessness, no masturbation or desire. That's frickin' odd. Not "I want sex but I'm not looking for it because I have a comfortable little life and I'm a little afraid of men", which is how I immediately interpreted your bravado. But hey, you may genuinely believe it, too- in which case it really will be funny.

You know, I taught an entirely metaphysics free kind of martial arts, but as I got better at it I did one learn one cosmic and universal truth: human beings are just one big pile of vulnerabilities. Flesh is weak, even when it's strong. Independence doesn't truly exist- which is a HUGE problem for someone like me who builds his identity around being independant. And you.

See? I love the attack so much I can't even stop attacking when it's ME. Christ, I do so love the attack. Out-thinking, out-fighting, I do love a good brawl. Best compliment of my life? Someone called me a "predator of the intellect".

Quote:

Heh, there ya go makin' with the pretty again. If it were anyone but you, it would start to weird me out.

LITTLEALBATROSS

Sunday, February 19, 2006 10:51 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SilverSamurai:

Yeppers, Not TOO far... (Not like Toronto and Vancouver, thats a drive!)
Ya I guess we are rivals and well all know how Mustangs are... hee hee
I'm in Arts, thinking of sticking around for honours and a minor... I don't know!!!
You're in Poli-Sci eh? How are you liking that?
Do you drive? hee hee

Hey! I resemble that Mustang remark

Just kidding!

I like poli-sci, I'm (hopefully) graduating this year with an honors degree. Then I'm going back for a year to complete a diploma in writing before applying to grad school. That's the plan anyway.

So what kind of arts classes are you taking? Is it visual arts or English or...?

Yeah, I drive...

GUTTERBALL

Monday, February 20, 2006 1:49 AM

Sadly, I know I'm a lot more vulnerable than I think I am, if that makes sense. But in a way, what I believe about myself defines my reality. For the most part, I'm busy enough and have enough friends that I don't notice the lack of a warm body in bed. It doesn't really strike me until I get to talking to someone else about how lonely THEY are.

Then, I have to go back to my "Hey, I'm not like that!" rigamarole because I begin to wonder what's wrong with me that I DON'T want a commitment, a husband, another person around more often than not.

See, I truly see myself as not lonely. So long as I know I'm not lonely, I'll just not be.

Until, of course, it slaps me across the face and says, "Pay attention, dammit!" As it does every now and then.

Quote:
Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Look for the sex drive you have at 29 to double every year for the next ten years, just to frustrate you on top of it all.

*scowl* You're a real prince. Or another "pri" word with considerably fewer letters.

Heheh.

Quote:

Quote:
*grin* I'd give me four-ish.

My, we think well of ourselves, don't we? Would we like a mint julep with that ego? You know, I really didn't take any of the sex talk seriously, but I do suddenly have an urge to put you in your place.

*innocent grin* Who...me? I was, of course, just putting myself in the middle of your little scale -- not too hot, but not too not, if you get my drift.

Seriously. I was. Really.

Quote:
They say that, then ten weeks later its "why haven't you called, Jiiimmmyyy?" on the answer machine. Which, I do have to admit, is one of the more satisfying pleasures of my life. I LOVE upending women's little pretentions.

You mean like, "Why haven't you answered my post yet, Jiiiiimmmm??? (Can't quite manage "Jimmy". You just don't seem like a Jimmy.) Here I waited a whole..." God, I don't even know and am too lazy to go back and look. Can't carry through the farce.

See, I'm usually the one who is chastised for "forgetting" to call, for missing a date, for not remembering birthdays/anniversaries. My ex can still remember when we first kissed, for God's sake. I can't even remember the exact day I left him.

Heh, I do remember that he bought me a rose and some perfume for our first Christmas as a couple. *snerk* I laughed at him and told him that I really hadn't gotten him anything because I thought I remembered saying that I didn't want anything. You shoulda seen his face.

Not getting your new boyfriend anything for Christmas: $0.
The look on his face when he realizes you're serious: priceless.

Quote:
You want to know the truth? There is no person so indepenedent or strong or smart they can't be floored by the opposite sex out of NOWHERE.

Now THAT is my one true fear. I honestly dread the day that God sees fit to punish me for my refusal to contribute to the species by getting married and crankin' out the young'uns by sending me The Perfect Guy to shatter all my delusions about independence.

It will happen. I have no doubt. I will be forced to eat every single one of my brave words with some wasabi to make them go down harder still. Dammit.

Quote:
With a bit o' luck, you'll be able to keep up that lie throughout your entire life.

Wish me luck, then, because that's the lie I curl up under and tuck around me every night. It's comfortable and well-worn, like the best flannel sheets.

Quote:
Not "I want sex but I'm not looking for it because I have a comfortable little life and I'm a little afraid of men", which is how I immediately interpreted your bravado.

Except for that last bit, you're spot-on. You might even be right about the last, though I'm usually far more comfortable around men than I ever am around women.

God, the mine fields abundant in even a simple conversation with my gender!

But if you mean afraid of a real relationship with a man, then you're by-God right on the money. I will run screaming into the

PREV PAGE 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 NEXT PAGE