Screw Maxim Magazine

POSTED BY: Murkymerc
UPDATED: Sunday, February 5, 2006 06:43
VIEWED: 9760
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CHRISMOORHEAD

Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:23 PM

Maxim magazine is run by the same idiots who enjoy perpetuating stereotypes about men, guys who watch football, drink beer, and think tits and ass make any situation ten times better. I got a friend who doesn't like football planning on watching the Superbowl tommorow. Why? Because it's "tradition". Since when did tradition begin with an "R" and end with a "etarded"?

Here's some simple facts: Ultimate Fighting (Lidell vs. Couture 3 TONIGHT, YEEEAH!) is infinately better and manlier than football, beer smells like stale piss, any situation that needs a woman to make it more enjoyable was hopeless to begin with (Which is why Maxim will always suck), and FIREFLY OWNS MAXIM MAGAZINE.

"Deep in the battlefield covered in blood
Lies an Airborne Ranger dying in the mud
He fought for his country and he died like a man
Though some people back home just wouldn't understand"

ASARIAN

Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:52 PM

Maxim, Wuo DWAY-nee BOO-woon, boo-JEN!

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

JOLLY

Sunday, February 5, 2006 12:44 AM

Quote:

Writer/director Joss Whedon took a flop movie, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and turned it into a hit TV series. Now with Serenity, he hopes to take his flop 2002 TV show, Firefly, and turn it into a hit movie. You gotta admit, the guy has balls. Serenity picks up where the show left off, which is great for the seven people who watched it. In the movie, the captain of the Serenity ends up on the losing side of a galactic war with only his trusty crew to depend on. But just when teamwork seems ready to prevail, two people from the evil alliance come aboard and tell him a secret that puts everyone in danger…or something like that. The plot is slightly incomprehensible and the cast…well, let's just say members of the Nathan Fillion and Gina Torres fan clubs will be psyched. As with the original TV show, the no-namers help make this sci-fi/Indiana Jones—style hybrid into a fairly entertaining romp. But if people wouldn't watch this for free, what makes Whedon think they're gonna pay 10 bucks?

Ummm...Simon was working at an Alliance hospital, while River was attending an Alliance-run academy, so the claim that they are from the Alliance is not strictly untrue. I don't see how a review that describes the movie as "a fairly entertaining romp" can be described as scathing. It may be a little flippant, but ain't that just the style over there? Hardly seems to be worth raisin' a fuss...

ASARIAN

Sunday, February 5, 2006 2:40 AM

Quote:

Writer/director Joss Whedon took a flop movie, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and turned it into a hit TV series. Now with Serenity, he hopes to take his flop 2002 TV show, Firefly, and turn it into a hit movie. You gotta admit, the guy has balls. Serenity picks up where the show left off, which is great for the seven people who watched it. In the movie, the captain of the Serenity ends up on the losing side of a galactic war with only his trusty crew to depend on. But just when teamwork seems ready to prevail, two people from the evil alliance come aboard and tell him a secret that puts everyone in danger…or something like that. The plot is slightly incomprehensible and the cast…well, let's just say members of the Nathan Fillion and Gina Torres fan clubs will be psyched. As with the original TV show, the no-namers help make this sci-fi/Indiana Jones—style hybrid into a fairly entertaining romp. But if people wouldn't watch this for free, what makes Whedon think they're gonna pay 10 bucks?

Hey! He left the Summer Glau fan club out!! He was already starting to damage my calm, but this is downright insulting! Ta ma duh!

I assume you've scanned the status logs? River Tam was our greatest success! A prodigy. A phenomenon. Until you walked in here, and took her from us! River Tam, the greatest, single-most awe-inspiring character ever devised in the history of film writing, and you manage to overlook her?? You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords!

"The plot is slightly incomprehensible..."

Yeah, it would be, what with your brain missing and all! And what do you mean, the Gina Torres fan club will be psyched? Now, if you had any wit in that pinky of yours at all, you'd had said something like:

The River Tam fanclub will be 'psyched'

And that would have been funny! :) I know, that's not much; but it's enough.

Right now, I'm going to have to go with wrath!

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

SMOOF

Sunday, February 5, 2006 3:02 AM

Why even read Maxim?
It reads like it's written by thirteen year olds, just like every other mens magazine (check out "Stuff" sometime. That is, if you can stomich people seeing you actually handling one in public.)

GRIMJACK21502

Sunday, February 5, 2006 3:15 AM

I kind of feel sorry for the guys at Maxim.

One year they are the "hip new twenty-something writers"...now they're realizing that their readership is down nearly 35% because people are realizing that they are aging know-it-all smart@sses who lack the basic social skills to be the Tilt-a-Whirl operator at a traveling fair.

We will hold...we hold till Mal gets back.

"And once you're gone, you can never come back
When you're out of the blue and into the black"
-Neil Young

MURKYMERC

Sunday, February 5, 2006 3:57 AM

Dang, 26 responses. I am going to arrested for inciting a riot. I guess I realize that the the reviewer has the right to their opinion, but I really feel that the show and movie has the best character development since Star Wars. I also feel that it was a show that was screwed from the beginning because a few idiotic network execs never believed in it. My little subscription won't mean much, but I'll be damned if it pays once sent so people can right things like the following.

Quote:

We’ve seen the future, and it ain’t pretty. You can imagine our excitement when we heard that Serenity (the spaceship the show follows around the galaxy) included a space-age prostitute on board among its ragtag crew of outlaws and degenerates. Then we got to watching this Spaceballs-meets-Young Guns mess, and a bunch of lame, Old West–style holdups dominated (a botched train robbery? C’mon, guys). The more we watched Serenity get itself into and out of trouble in the post–galactic civil war space world of the year 2500 (don’t ask), we couldn’t help but dream of John Candy dressing up as a dog alongside Bill Pullman for some real laughs.

CHRISTHECYNIC

Sunday, February 5, 2006 4:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Smoof:
Why even read Maxim?
It reads like it's written by thirteen year olds

Hey! Again. I know someone who writes for Maxim and she isn't the way you all imply the writers are. Now the readers ... that's another story.

CHRISTHECYNIC

Sunday, February 5, 2006 4:05 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Murkymerc:
Dang, 26 responses. I am going to arrested for inciting a riot. I guess I realize that the the reviewer has the right to their opinion, but I really feel that the show and movie has the best character development since Star Wars. I also feel that it was a show that was screwed from the beginning because a few idiotic network execs never believed in it. My little subscription won't mean much, but I'll be damned if it pays once sent so people can right things like the following.

Quote:

We’ve seen the future, and it ain’t pretty. You can imagine our excitement when we heard that Serenity (the spaceship the show follows around the galaxy) included a space-age prostitute on board among its ragtag crew of outlaws and degenerates. Then we got to watching this Spaceballs-meets-Young Guns mess, and a bunch of lame, Old West–style holdups dominated (a botched train robbery? C’mon, guys). The more we watched Serenity get itself into and out of trouble in the post–galactic civil war space world of the year 2500 (don’t ask), we couldn’t help but dream of John Candy dressing up as a dog alongside Bill Pullman for some real laughs.

I vote that we set the movie/tv reviewers on fire, but only the movie/tv reviewers.

ASARIAN

Sunday, February 5, 2006 4:52 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Smoof:

Why even read Maxim?

I'm Dutch; so, up until now, I didn't even know Maxim existed. And, after now, I don't care to know. :)

The short of it is: I'm not reading it; I'm just worried somebody else might.

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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