Screw Maxim Magazine

POSTED BY: Murkymerc
UPDATED: Sunday, February 5, 2006 06:43
VIEWED: 9760
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NDRAGE85

Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:18 PM

LOL, i just read Maxim's review online. this guy is such a jackass it's hilarious. how does this idiot have a job? here it is, it makes you question whether he even watched the movie:

http://www.maximonline.com/entertainment/reviews.aspx?p_id=10703

2.5/5 stars
Reviewed by:
Pete Hammond

Writer/director Joss Whedon took a flop movie, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and turned it into a hit TV series. Now with Serenity, he hopes to take his flop 2002 TV show, Firefly, and turn it into a hit movie. You gotta admit, the guy has balls. Serenity picks up where the show left off, which is great for the seven people who watched it. In the movie, the captain of the Serenity ends up on the losing side of a galactic war with only his trusty crew to depend on. But just when teamwork seems ready to prevail, two people from the evil alliance come aboard and tell him a secret that puts everyone in danger…or something like that. The plot is slightly incomprehensible and the cast…well, let's just say members of the Nathan Fillion and Gina Torres fan clubs will be psyched. As with the original TV show, the no-namers help make this sci-fi/Indiana Jones—style hybrid into a fairly entertaining romp. But if people wouldn't watch this for free, what makes Whedon think they're gonna pay 10 bucks?

JOBI

Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:31 PM

Wow, Pete Hammond is a tard, it sounds like he hated the movie as soon as the title came up just for no other reason than to be a pathetic human being. I think we should all send him hate mail.

-----
Chuck Norris Doesnt Sleep He Waits

CHRISTHECYNIC

Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:32 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Kizyr:
They have words in Maxim?

I didn't notice.

Wonder how talented you have to be as a writer to 'write' for them. KF

Hey! I know someone who writes for them, as I said.

Which actually answers your question, to write for Maxim you need to be only as talented as someone who writes for Cosmo. I wish I remembered the other magazines she writes for so I could be more specific than just, "Cosmo."

CAPTAINSHINY

Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:32 PM

LOL, this guy has all thhe wit of an unflushed toilet. Where did they find this guy? fox?

"The people who made the show, and the people who saw the show, which is roughly the same number of people, fell in love with it, a little bit too much to let it go, too much to lay down arms when when the battle looked pretty much lost. In Hollywood, people like that are called unrealistic, quixotic, obsessive... In my world, they're called Browncoats."
-Joss Whedon

CHRISTHECYNIC

Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:41 PM

You know this is 179 words, I just checked it, so it barely qualifies as a review.

I'm not trying to support Maxim here, I'm not gonna get it, but when I think of someone writing for a magazine I think of an article writer, not a blurb writer. As such I don't think it's fair to judge Maxim writers on this.

I mean damn them for what they do, not what some moron wrote in less than 200 words.

NUCKLES87

Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:49 PM

My god....that was an actual official MAGAZINE review?!

Thats probably one of the most low brow reviews I've ever read. Ever. I write better then this guy.

And once more, he doesn't even comment on the movie, just how popular it was. lol, seven people. Like how this guy assumes that because the show flopped there aren't any fans (500,000 an growing strong

Yeah Maxim, I can see how you can offer your rag for 75 cents. It must cost about that much to produce each month....

How's my firefly speak? Good? Bad? Fee-oo?

...It's fee-oo isn't it?

SAMEERTIA

Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:52 PM

It's true. There are some very find articles in Maxim "How to Choose the Best Gym" with such stunning revelations as "Find one close to your home. Driving across town for your workout means you'll do it less often."

Anyway, reviews like this make me wonder if the reviewer even WATCHED the movie!!!
*Sigh*

CHRISTHECYNIC

Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:22 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SameErtia:
Anyway, reviews like this make me wonder if the reviewer even WATCHED the movie!!!
*Sigh*

Is it actually a review? Something just occured to me, it doesn't sound like a review at all but what it does sound like is the kind of short opinion bit that people do when they hear a movie is being put into production.

Guy is still a moron, but he never implies that it is a review or that he watched the movie.

GEDEON

Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:36 PM

Quote:
But just when teamwork seems ready to prevail, two people from the evil alliance come aboard and tell him a secret that puts everyone in danger…or something like that.

Poor kid never saw the movie!

Simon and River are the two evil alliance people,
is that it?

NOVASTARCLOUD

Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Murkymerc:
As someone who just discovered Firefly from Serenity, and has now bought not only the compete series as well as the movie. Let me be one of the first to say screw Maxim magazine for their scathing reviews of both.

Allow me to demonstrate my full pettiness by not renewed my subscription next year. What would Mal say, "When you did it to my show and movie, you did it to me."

That's a great idea! However, may I suggest that you not simply allow the subscription to lapse. You have to send the offending mag-rag back to them, with a short note telling them why you don't want their mag-rag anymore. Name the writer by name and tell them it is blatently obvious that he never saw the movie (the ref. to the two evil alliance people coming on board). Since Mr. Hammond didn't see the movie, how can you trust anything they say? Remind them of how a certain writer just got roasted on national TV when everybody found out he lied in his book that was on the NY Times bestseller list...

OK, i'll shut up now. you get the point.

Grrr... i'm sorry, but that article made me mad.

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