Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys
POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 17:49
VIEWED: 58403
PAGE 12 of 28
It's simple -- all us girls on this FF site are very intelligent, nice girls with a good sense of humor. LOL. And totally modest.
I give to you the Seeker of Serenity, the Valkyrie Warrior, the Gourmet Cook and the Truth Scoper.
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So are there many equal women out there (I will hit the thread topic in a sec, promise) for the nice guys?
*Builds large neon sign pointing toward Serenitree* (and sometimes we even venture out into reality so be on the look out).
IRL? We're probably at most of the same places that the nice guys are (i.e bookstores) were just too shy or too jaded to come out of hiding.
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It's simple -- all us girls on this FF site are very intelligent, nice girls with a good sense of humor.
What she said.
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Originally posted by Pother:
...how do we tell which of you women are NOT MENTAL CASES!?!
In my experience a girl referred to as a 'mental case' is often someone who has had a justifiable emotional response to being mistreated by some guy. The classification of 'mental case' seems to make this guy feel less guilty about his behaviour. I'm sure present company is excluded, of course. Girls, beware the guy whose ex-girlfriends are all 'psychos'.
FFF.net dating service: brilliant. Bags first dibs on all the policemen, firemen and pilots in my geographical area. Why them? Well, uniforms (of course, and yes, shallow), and they just seem like decent people, albeit with dangerous occupations, neutralising some of that niceness, making it seem less cloying.
----
"She was naked, and all ... articulate."
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Another thought:
This 'nice' and otherwise is really all subjective, isn't it? I don't think many people go into a relationship planning to be the bad guy. I'm nice to the point of pushover, and was absolutely astounded to find out one of my high-school boyfriends referred to me as 'the bitch' years later. Likewise, I referred to one of my ex's as 'the antichrist' when, looking back, he was just another guy with his own issues to deal with.
Think of it this way: in the relationships you've had - the guys you broke up with you probably refer to as 'nice guys', but those who broke up with you are more likely to be remembered as the bastards. We're all just people, and in our minds we're the heroes of our own tales.
Sure, some people do go into relationships prepared to manipulate, play games and ultimately 'win', but you wonder what happened to them before to make that so important to them...
----
"She was naked, and all ... articulate."
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Originally posted by mai:
*Builds large neon sign pointing toward Serenitree*
Hehe, alright, for the sake of sounding like an uneducated fool (I've been called worse), what is the Serenitree? I've scrolled through this thread and though I am still learning more about this site, I haven't really figured this out yet. So, with my newbie hat on again, I pose the question, What in the world is the Serenitree, cause apparently the girl of my dreams is somewhere near there and I'd much rather be headed there than not. Thanks, and we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?
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The SereniTREE is a Collective Storytelling Thread. (No dice, TRM!)
It's crazy, it's been going on for a year and a half at least. There are some 30 odd threads in its history.
But you don't really need to know about that. You just need to find the most recent one (if it's not on the homepage, search under Talk Story, it'll be at the top) and read TheRealMe's lovely Guide to the TREE near the top. And then, if you feel so inclined, jump on in.
Having been on the TREE for some many months now, and having met many of the TREEers, I can honestly say that they are some of the shiniest people in the 'verse and I am proud to count myself amongst them.
And to Pother: I have a couple dear friends who were actual mental patients and who are now quite happily married and living normal productive lives. Please be a little more careful of what you say. Unless you like the taste of feet.
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/
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Now that was a graceful reply, and I respect grace, thanks. Hope all goes well with you today.
Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?
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Thank you!
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/
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Here's a journal entry I wrote several years ago that I believe points to where my "niceness" has come from (wow, looking back at my journal, I do my best writing when I'm upset. Not so much on this one, but my other entries are full of absolutely stunning imagery)(edited for language, haha):
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< 1950.06.16.2003 >
I’m woefully inadequate. Out of my league. Really, I need to go back to being 16 or 17 so I can figure this * out. I am found wanting for experience. What is for me something incredibly significant is to others but a passing thought. Does she hurt, too? All signs point to no…thank you, captain obvious.
Actually I need to go back to being 6 or 7, before my life bore the scratch, or at least before I became aware of its horrible reality. I need a little altering of perception. You see, girls have been of great interest to me from a very young age. I was 7 when I first asked a girl to go with me. From my perspective back then, it seemed obvious: women want someone soft, someone that will listen with interest to all they have to share. Someone who doesn’t care only about sex, or even care about it much at all. From where I sat back then, sex was for guys. Women only did it because of the love they bore for their partner. Naïve, as everyone is at that age, I believed I could make myself into something that women would want, and hence I am who I am today.
Sux2b me, you might say. Girls, it seems, want a guy. They want someone that’s a little rough. They want to be wanted in a very physical way. In short, they don’t want me. Well, sometimes they think they do, but then, inevitably, they realize their folly. “They come by the millions, but I turn them away one by one…” My senior quote would lead most to think that I turn them away by choice, when in truth the person I chose to be at 6 has them running.
But that’s not fair…I can’t blame an innocent child. Looking back I can see that in almost every case I turn them away at about the same point in the relationship, the part where they hand me the ball and say “your move.” It’s at this point that I become crippled with desire. I drop that mother*ing ball every time, paralyzed with all the inexperience and confusion and stage-fright. I still remember telling my Mom when I was about 12 (and numerous times after) that the only way I’d ever have a girlfriend would be for them to ask me out, to keep the ball in their possession, their control. Wise before my time? Not *ing likely.
Funny, two years later, I've been mostly right. My two relationships have been with women that more or less pursued me. On the whole scratch thing (bears explaining since it seems a little melodramatic), I was diagnosed with deep depression by age 9. It's something I've struggled with my whole life. One of the biggest contributing factors to my last breakup was my being diagnosed as bipolar. My gf at the time just couldn't handle the thought of it, and later she found out in some roundabout way that suicide was something that crossed my mind on occasion, as it has from a very young age. She couldn't handle it. When she found out she called me, crying. It was hard for her to understand that for me it's a normal thing, as it is all I know.
Alright, if I keep rambling I'll let out my life story...so I'll stop now (and anyone morbidly interested in such continuation can contact me for more, I keep no secrets).
I've visited the Serenitree, I've been lurking there. I've still yet to make it through the monstrous threads. When I have, I'll make my presence known ;D
---
inch towards daylight
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So why don't you nice guys walk over to the girl and say hi? I always wonder when I'm out with my girlfriends where the nice guys are in the bar. Only the drunk morons seems to come up to me and I have to tell them to get lost. They're putting their hand on my leg or something and since I'm the female version of Simon, I'm sitting there thinking about how inappropriate it is when he's only just met me. Then, I hear that nice guys are too scared to talk to any women, so I stop going to bars. Now I spend Friday and Saturday nights at home watching Sex and the City or out to dinner with friends.
Sometimes, I hear that the nice guys who aren't hiding out at the bar spend their weekends at home. Maybe we should do a neighborhood scavenger hunt for them? Any thoughts?
Oh, here's a thought from the BruisersMom files. Sometimes the nice guy is still single and a waste of time because he's terrified of commitment or just very comfortable being a confirmed thirtysomething bachelor and only wants a woman to be his girlfriend for the rest of her life. Ended a relationship with one of those nice guys about a year ago.
Oh, and here's something scary. The above mentioned exboyfriend had friends who were just like him. They use to go out to dinner and movies together on Friday nights when they didn't have girlfriends. Maybe, I should post their names so that single women can avoid wasting their time on them? Yeah, why not. Their names are David Poepoe, Webb Deneys and I forget the other guy's last name. His first name was Jason. You'll see him with the other two guys anyway.
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes
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