Firefly: The Pants Job
POSTED BY: RelFexive
UPDATED: Saturday, October 1, 2005 07:31
VIEWED: 8486
PAGE 2 of 5
RelFexive,
OH! So you're the one that started this! Pants for the explanation. *snort*
*must think of more Firefly dialogue to destroy*
Twodaystwodays!
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Zoe: Sir, I think there's a problem with your pants being missing.
Saffron: This isn't what it looks like!
Mal: Unless it looks like we're stealing your pants, 'cuz that's what it is. Don't ask me about the gun, though. That's new.
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
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Hee hee!! Yes, twas I.
I'm sure I've said it already, but I'm very proud 
JAYNE "Pants wasn't good enough."
P.S. Yay CMS!!
"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."
"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all..."
I know the secret.
http://www.theshadowdepository.co.uk/index.htm
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Jayne: "Long as we got the pants, I call this a win."
Jayne: "Pants is scary."
Mal: "Howcome you didn't turn on me Jayne?"
Jayne: "Pants wasn't good enough."
Harken: "'Pants did it'? You don't know how many times men in my position have heard that excuse."
Atherton: "Pants changed hands. Makes her mine
tonight."
"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
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I haven't heard of this thread before,but I'll give it a shot:
River: Jayne is a girl's name
Jayne: Well, Jayne ain't a girl! If she starts in on that girl's name thing, I'll show her good and all I got man pants.
Mal: Well look at this. 'Pears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn pants, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.
The Hero of Canton alternate lyrics: Now Jayne saw the Mudder's pants breaking...
Opening theme lyrics: Take my top, take my pants, take me where I cannot dance...
(I had to cahnge a bit more to make it rhyme)
Book (from the openining): After the Earth was used up, we found a new solar system and hundreds of new pants were terraformed and colonized.
Zoë: Where's River now?
Mal: In her pants, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on.
Jayne: Hey, you know, we'd have been back first, except there's somethin' wrong with Inara's pants.
Zoe: If they board the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our pants and sew our skin to their clothes. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.
or
Zoe: If they board the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our pants to their clothes. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.
Zoë: Shepard, isn't the Bible kind of specific about killing?
Book: Very specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy around the area of pants.
Wash: How did your pants even learn human speech?
and a couple I'm sure writers of Simon/Mal slasher fic will just love:
Simon: Captain, why did you come back for us?
Mal: You're on my pants.
Simon: Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?
Mal: You're on my pants. Why are we still talking about this?
Simon: Are you out of your pants?
Mal: Just about.
Ok, I admit it, I got a litlle help from IMDB, but the first few I thought up all on my own
Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny
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Wash: "Pants, though? That sounds like something out of science-fiction."
"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
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JAYNE: "I'll be in my pants."
(Me? Long time lurker, etc. Have purchased my tickets for Friday 1:10PM showing! Woohoo!)
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BARKER
Forget what you think you know.
Forget what your mother told you when
she tucked you in at night, forget
the lies of our oppressive,
cabalistic Allied governments!
Behind this curtain lies the very
secret they don't want you to see --
the most astounding scientific find
in the history of humanity. PANTS!
Of Alien life. Yes, go ahead and
laugh, sir, but what you see inside
this room will change your life
forever! It will haunt your dreams
and harrow -- YES -- your very soul.
For six bits you can unlock -- this
lady wants to go, I cannot allow her
to be near such wonder, such
thrilling horror, unescorted. Who
will go with her? Who will see the
unholy truth, the only captured
proof -- in existence -- of Alien
pants!
INT. BARKER'S BOOTH - CONTINUING
Hold a still frame on Simon and Kaylee, staring intently at something in a big jar that we can't see very well. Wait a beat.
SIMON
Yep. That's a cow's pants.
KAYLEE
Guess so... Does seem to have an
awful lot of legs...
SIMON
It's mutated. Most of the breeding
on the outer planets was done by
shipping DNA scrip. The first pants were grown
in labs, then set loose. Every now
and then...
KAYLEE
But cow? How do you figure?
SIMON
They're upside down.
She cranes her head upside down, looks. Nods, sagely...
KAYLEE
Okay, then. Cow.
SIMON
And I'm out twelve bits. I really
know how to show a girl a...
disgusting pair of pants.
H
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CAPTAIN
Not even the coil? pants are nothing
part, Captain.
MAL
It's nothing 'til you don't got 'em. Then
it appears to be everything.
Take us out of the pants,
Got us some crime to be done.
Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"Dreaming the dream that only the sleepless know."
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MAL "A captain's goal was simple: find a crew, find a job, keep pants."
MAL "Oh... I'm a pants man."
ZOE "I know something ain't right."
WASH "Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in pants."
"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."
"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all..."
I know the secret.
http://www.theshadowdepository.co.uk/index.htm
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