Firefly: The Pants Job
POSTED BY: RelFexive
UPDATED: Saturday, October 1, 2005 07:31
VIEWED: 8486
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Everyone's heard of this: the thing were people changed lines of dialogue from the Star Wars movies to use or include the word pants for maximum comedic effect.
So I had the idea of doing the same for Firefly dialogue, and Serenity dialogue too, for that matter. Non-spoiler Serenity dialogue, obviously, limited to the trailers to begin with, I'd say.
Anyways, I stuck a few in the taglog here, and others added their own ideas. Wackiness ensued.
So now, here's the thread for it. To record the funniest 'pants' quotes we can muster for posterity.
Here's a few from the taglog right now:
SAFFRON "Have you heard the myth of Earth That Was? At first she had no pants..."
MAL "Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches pants, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you."
Or... "I swear by my pretty floral pants I will end you."
SAFFRON "If you're done with supper... would you like me to wash your pants?"
INARA "What did I say to you about barging into my pants?"
MAL "That it was manly and impulsive?"
INARA "Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was 'don't'."
JAYNE "They are my very favourite pants."
BOOK "Oh, I've got pants aplenty, right here."
KAYLEE "I like to meet new people. They've all got pants..."
WASH "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable pants!"
And the classic:
RIVER "Two by two... pants of blue..."
Feel free to add your own!
"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."
"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all..."
I know the secret.
http://www.theshadowdepository.co.uk/index.htm
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Well, two more River classics...
"No pants in the verse can stop me"
And
"Also, I can kill you with my pants."
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue." 
"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"
"I swallowed a bug."
Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."
Me - 
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Quote:
Originally posted by RelFexive:
Everyone's heard of this: the thing were people changed lines of dialogue from the Star Wars movies to use or include the word pants for maximum comedic effect.
Wash: "Mmm...wife pants..."
[Bad paraphrase due to faulty memory]:
Crull: "It doesn't matter where you hide or how far you fly; I will hunt you down. And the last thing you will see will be my pants."
_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.
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WASH: And we shall call it...This Land.
I think we should call it your Pants!
INARA: I wish you hundreds of fat pants.
River: My pants are problematic.
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
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I don't remember all the ones I posted yesterday, I'll try to update as I do.
WASH "You're out of your pants."
JUBAL " that's between me and my pants."
This is why we lost you know: Superior pants.
Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"Dreaming the dream that only the sleepless know."
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Saffron: But Sir, I am betrothed to you, I am your pants...
Jayne: You know what the pants of command is? It's the pants I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here.
Mal: This is why we lost you know, superior Pants.
Mal: These pants I would pull for free.
Mal: Can't get pants if you're dead.
Jayne: Can't get pants if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither.
Mal: You know, they tell ya to never hit a man with pants but it is, on occasion, hilarious.
Mal: Let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job, and then I get pants.
Zoë: Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller.
Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in those black market pants.
Wash: Could you please tell my wife the fun she's missing out on?
Inara: Ariel's a nice place, actually. There are some beautiful museums, not to mention some of the finest pants in the Core.
River: He looks better in pants.
More insane ramblings by the people who brought you Beeeer Milkshakes!
Zen Buddhist to the Hotdog Vendor:
"Make me one with everything."
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RIVER: I tore these out of your symbol and they turned into pants.
OR
I tore these out of your pants and they turned into paper.
ZOE: Then can I have your pants?
MAL: No.
Zoe: If you die, can I have your pants?
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
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MAL "No, I'm not sly. I lean towards pants."
"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."
"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all..."
I know the secret.
http://www.theshadowdepository.co.uk/index.htm
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Nandi: I've been waiting for you to kiss me since I showed you my pants!
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
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Mal: "Whoa... good pants."
Mal: "You turn on any of my pants, you turn on ME!"
Jayne: "Damn yokels don't even know a transport ship ain't got no pants on it."
"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
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