Because I think too much... body hair in the 'Verse

POSTED BY: Jacqui
UPDATED: Wednesday, August 24, 2005 20:13
VIEWED: 8769
PAGE 1 of 4

1 2 3 4 NEXT PAGE

JACQUI

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 1:45 AM

Okay, this is what happens when an insomniac lies awake at four in the morning and I apologise in advance, but I give you fair warning and if you actually read this post all the way through, then you really have no one to blame but yourself... do you?

Moving on...

I was thinking... body hair in the 'Verse. None of the women seem to have it. Ever. Granted, we've seen Mal shaving before, so I could get behind the theory that Kaylee, Inara and Zoe gets lots of downtime when they're floating around out in the black and they shave off screen.

But when River tumbles out of that cryo box, she's naked and she's virtually hairless. I'm pretty sure, given Simon's reluctance to open it at all at that point, that they would have opened the box at regular intervals for some depillatory action.

Yes, it's possible she wasn't in the box for a long amount of time. Simon said she should stay in there for another week, but nothng about how long she'd already been in there. So she might have been in there for a day or two. But I'm not ready to accept that in the Academy, she had lots of access to razor blades. Nope. Not gonna happen.

Which brings me to another weird place... Simon in 'Objects In Space', his chest was hairless. I mean... wha?

Okay, so when it's quiet, all the girls hide themselves in Inara's shuttle and have waxing parties... I'll accept this (if there's also braiding of hair, liberal use of lingerie, pillow fights and the like)... but does that mean Simon joins in and waxes his chest?

I need sleep.

*~*~*
"Your toes are in the sand."
"And your head's up your..."
"Hey!"

PELORISSOCIALIS

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:03 AM

ROFLMAO!!!!

I have GOT to quit reading these things at work.

Thanks for the snort!

R1Z

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:11 AM

Why should Simon have chest hair? Roughly 55% of all men don't. (I have 8, I counted.) Nathan's not exactly a furball, either.

Stitch Hissian's hair and beard certainly grew while he was in the hotbox for 4 years.

River is a 14 year old girl, who knows how far along she is through the process of puberty, and someone in cryogenic suspension wouldn't grow hair, her metabolic processes are slowed to near zero.

In 500 years,women may well be able to suppress body hair growth with a pill even eliminate it altogether.

When do we see Nathan/Mal shaving?

To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. --Robt. Heinlein

JACQUI

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:23 AM

Quote:

River is a 14 year old girl, who knows how far along she is through the process of puberty,

Well, no, not exactly.

Simon says she was 14 when she was initially interested the Academy. Then he says he got a few letters at first, followed by months of silence, then one or two lettes came that didn't sound like her at all and if you give or take this process 6 months, that puts her at at least 14 and a half.

He then goes on to say that he couldn't get near River for two years, which makes her 16 and a half.

Then there's the process of making the contact, meeting with them in black out zones, arranging for the cryo box, etc... give or take this process another 6 months. That puts River at at least 17.

Given that there is no strict timelines for what I've just mentioned, so you can easily add or subtract months for convenience sake (say, she was nearer 15 than 14 before she actually was accepted at the Academy)... that puts her somewhere between 17 and 18.

(That's a good three or four years of torture, right there).

And 16-18 year old girls do grow body hair. I've been one.

As for the shaving thing... I'm sure I've seen it somewhere in an episode. Mal, shaving. Completely certain. Not that I can rightly remember, right now, I'll have to get back to you on that one.

*~*~*
"Your toes are in the sand."
"And your head's up your..."
"Hey!"

R1Z

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:31 AM

There's a moment in one episode where Simon leans on something and says, "She's a __year old girl."

I just gotta remember which one it is.

To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. --Robt. Heinlein

MANWITHPEZ

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:37 AM

It wasn't in an episode, it was in the trailer...Simon says "She's a seventeen year old girl."

He claims she was fourteen when she left to go to the academy.

But, so...I've met plenty of hairy 14 year olds...

Okay, I haven't, but I bet they're out there!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

DROCCULARI

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 5:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by R1Z:
In 500 years,women may well be able to suppress body hair growth with a pill even eliminate it altogether.

Maybe that's what the syringe was that Inara looked at when they were sneaking past the Reavers. Maybe it was her hair suppression serum. Maybe she was thinking, "At least when they sew my skin into their clothing it won't be hairy like Kaylee's chest."

WILDHEAVENFARM

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 12:53 PM

Where do we see Mal shaving?

Mary
Always a beast, never a burden.

ZOOT

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 1:09 PM

I understand this is what Simon actually looked like when he came aboard Serenity - they cut the scene where Zoe and Jayne held him down and the Cap'n shaved him ...

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

SOLIDSNAKE58

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 1:15 PM

Everybody waxes in future. It's quite painless. Go see The 40 Year Old Virgin for an example.

AHHHHHHHHHH . . . KELLY CLARKSON!

1 2 3 4 NEXT PAGE