S.S. Serenitree: The Eve of Battle

POSTED BY: thatweirdgirl
UPDATED: Friday, June 17, 2005 02:59
VIEWED: 29725
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COZEN

Thursday, June 16, 2005 2:24 AM

We're battling ferocious aliens (who die easily). I'm choppin' dead aliens up and tossing them in the garbage. Some are fighting heroically, but Emma has accidentaly summoned more evil creatures. Others are smoochin' and relaxing in jacuzzis, with chocolate.

Guess we require, like, captainy commandments. And, the proper chords for "Hero Of Canton" might not be amiss, even though I'm tone deaf.

Tough call, given there ain't much in the way of other threads to attack.

And twg's gone part-time, to maintain her sanity. Who can blame her?

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ldnemeth/images/blackjacksilver.GIF

EBONEZER

Thursday, June 16, 2005 2:34 AM

Captainy commandments, you say? Yeah, I think I can handle that.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

COZEN

Thursday, June 16, 2005 2:43 AM

OH! And Ath is not only being held prisoner, he's being tortured in gruesome ways.

Although I can't tell if the torturing is being administered by nasty alien creatures, or by lissa spwhore.

***

EBONEZER

Thursday, June 16, 2005 2:45 AM

Well, that was lame. It posted before I could commandtmenterize.

Firstly, the garbage is a silly place for alien body parts. Sell them to the tabloids and use the profits to pay the repo men trying to get emma's ship.

Secondly, fighting heroicaly is good, unless it gets you killed. So those of you that are fighting, do my a favor and try not to die or anything.

Thridly, antidisestablishmentarionism is a great word, as is rigatoni.

Fourthly, someone needs to put the real world physics button somewhere where nobody can get at it. I would suggest wherever Grey and Needleseye arn't having sex, but under some sort of cover, so that it wouldn't be inadvertantly pushed whist they were in the throws of non-passion.

Fifthy, is anyone trying to rescue Ath and the others? That would be good.

Sixthly (sixly?), there is no lifeguard on duty at the chocolate jacuzzi. So if you drown, your sort of screwed. So try not to do that. Also, wait two hours after eating to go swimming and remember to wash behind your ears.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

COZEN

Thursday, June 16, 2005 3:12 AM

*Acting on Cap'n Ebonezer's orders, cozen sells gruesome alien body parts to the National Enquirer. Uses funds to purchase a Jayne orange toque for Mai and to re-stock SimonWho's depleted chocolate stores.*

*Meanwhile, the Rahjeen Command Force sends a binary message to Emma's ship. After decription and rough translation from alienese to sortaAnglic, it reads as: "Your exploding penguin farts trump our superior weapons technology"... or somesuch. Embarrassedby the negative tabloid publicity, a large percentage of the alien invader fleet is monitored leaving the solar system, presumably en route to galaxies offering easier raiding and more enticingly profitable ventures.*

*Some stragglers remain. A space-hardened, particularly vicious sort. They set course for Earth. Specifically, the Sereni-Tree and Clubhouse.*

*Ath, however, continues his woeful tortuous wailing.*

*cozen tentatively considers powering up the EvilAutoMop.*

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ldnemeth/images/blackjacksilver.GIF

MAI

Thursday, June 16, 2005 3:32 AM

*Having finally found Molly, trying to drink all teh chocolate out of the jacuzzi, Mai heads back to find Jazaf and Serenity.*

Hope there done killin' stuff cause we still got lots of tour to go.

*Thinks for a minute. Huh. The fighting and killing fun is never really done around here so i't unlikely that the tour will resume, plus that whole sub-plot is kinda boring. Quickly takes out tiny pc looking thing and starts sending a memo to Jazaf.*

ATTN: Jazaf
Re: ship tour

Hey I know you busy so I thought I'd make your tour a bit easier. I've attached a highly detailed map of every room, corridor, and hidey place on the ship so you can find your way around.
If you have any questions or would prefer to continue guided tour at a later date let me know. Have fun killin'

Mai

*Continutes walking through the ship, with Molly perched on her head, following the trail of EI, EC, RE, things corpses thinking they'll probably lead to someone eventually*

"MOLLLLLLY is a SQUAWWWKKKKKK hungry birdie!"

Yes all right lets head to the common area and see if we can't scrounge something up.

*As they approach the far hallway Mai and Molly come upon someone hunched over a large pile of creaturey body parts scoopin' em into trash bags*

Cozen! I wondered where you had wandered off to. Awfully nice of you to help clean up all the ick. Molly and I were just headed to find something to eat care to join us?

*Watches as Cozen ties up the bags and begins placing labels on them... with prices...*

Ohh a money making scheme! Need any help?

THEREALME

Thursday, June 16, 2005 3:54 AM

* Standing in some twisty winding passage down on the cargo level of the Sereni-Tree, TheRealMe is upset as he gazes at the strange green glowing dimensional portal of the Evil Enemy Invaders (the EEI?). Chin in hand, he walks around it in order to examine it from all sides. *

Huh! To think that someone besides me put a dimensional portal on this ship! Well, there’s nothing else to be done about it.

* TheRealMe straps on bandoliers of fully loaded Pepsimilk squirt guns. He jams his newly designed high-tech can-opener in one pocket. He ties a black band around his head. The ends of this headband seem to float and wave in the air, sort of like antennae. *

SimonWho is right! We need to take a raiding party to the other side in order to rescue our missing friends. After they’re recovered, we need to destroy this portal to keep Sereni-Tree safe. I can shoot the EIs with my squirt guns, but I need some help in keeping them off of me while I do. Any volunteers?

* TheRealMe glances about and wonders, with all that’s going on (especially the battle on Emma’s ship), if there is anyone left to accompany him into unknown danger at the EI’s own base. Then again, MontanaGirl and Jazaf sounded eager.*

Oh, Ebo Golem, you stay here waiting on this side of the portal. If any EIs come through… tear their arms off. Zoe-clones, keep this portal covered with your guns. If anyone comes through who’s not on our crew, then shoot them… politely.

* The Ebo Golem stands impassively. As one, the pair of Zoe-clones pump their shotguns and chorus, “Yes, sir!” then glance with mild irritation at each other. *

* TheRealMe’s com-link beeps. He activates it. *

Hello? This is Me. Hmmmm? PsychicRiver? ThatWeirdGirl? How are things at the Tree?

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

THEREALME

Thursday, June 16, 2005 3:59 AM

Oh, Captain, hello.

You will find a good summary of our situation by me several posts ago.

As far as our missing crew, and Ath's torture, I intend to handle that problem directly.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

LISSA

Thursday, June 16, 2005 5:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeAth:

*Before Ath can even say goodbye, he's dragged out of the room and shoved down the corridor. He's led down one dank hallway after another, until they finally stop before a tall black door. As the EI opens it, Ath sees a room full of every torture devise imaginable. The EI shove Ath into the room and shut the door.*

*Within a minute, the corridors are ringing with Ath's screams.*

*as soon as lissa can revive soul, they begin to formulate an escape plan. lissa and soul predict that the guard will soon return to take another of them for torture. the cell is quite small, and lissa uses her flexible (ha) dancer's body to wedge herself onto the ceiling at the sound of approaching footsteps. the guard enters, and lissa drops onto him, knocking him to the floor. soul dons the guard's uniform.*

ok, you go find a way out of here. i'm going to rescue ath! we'll meet back up in the broom closet down the hall there...because broom closets are cool.

*lissa follows the sound of ath's screams to the black door. there are two guards outside. using the bazooka she stole from the previous guard (yep, he was packin a bazooka), she takes out the two guards and blows a hole in the door. before the dust clears, she jumps through the hole and knocks out ath's torturer with a bazooka blow to the head. lissa gives ath a kiss and he leans on her shoulder as they sneak back to the broom closet to await soul. lissa uses part of her shirt to bandage ath's wounds. in the tradition of raiders of the lost ark, she kisses him where it doesn't hurt.*

~lissa, spwhore

EMMA

Thursday, June 16, 2005 6:18 AM

*Emma realises she didn't wash behind her ears before entering the chocloate jacuzzi and thinking Ebonezer might be a bit grumpy with that she gets out to test the status of the Rahjeen Elite Command Force (whom, one might add were not accidently summoned merely trying to get the ship back - as if Emma would do such a thing [cough cough])*

*On her way to the ship she hears screams, fighting and the RE secret language. Being the brave soul she is she runs. Luckily, however, she notices that all of the remaining EIs are running too - apparently the RE are just a bit too scary and normal EI's get out of their way when the REs come to take over. Hoorah! Er...maybe not they leaving space for the impending doom...Emma looks out of the Sereni-Tree and sees 3 RE vessels all releasing dozens of pods all of which are heading towards her ship...*

Oh, shit

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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