S.S. Serenitree: The Eve of Battle

POSTED BY: thatweirdgirl
UPDATED: Friday, June 17, 2005 02:59
VIEWED: 29725
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NEEDLESEYE

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 4:21 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* TheRealMe keys the com-link from the bridge. *
Grey? Grey? TheGreyJedi, please respond!
* Sigh. Switches channels. *
Jet? Needleseye? Have you got Main Engineering covered? It's about time to test those "creative modifications" that we made that hook us up with Emma's ship!

TRM, Got it covered. Jet is also finishing up the new "flare" weapon as we speak. She created a bypass interface, so no techpreist required. Sort of a shame really, and Jet's kinda grumpy now. We'll be routing it's control to you shortly. Be sure to notify Earth about the sunscreen and eye protection.
Emma's ship mod's are all functioning properly. That is a very interesting vessel.

As for Grey disappearing, perhaps it's just a Jedi mind trick or something. He must have his own M.O.
that we are not to know. *shrugs*

---
You do not need to see the Chief Engineer
This is not the tech priest you are looking for.

CALLMEATH

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 4:26 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:

Attention crew. This is Serenity. There is a loose EI on board. Repeat: there is a loose EI on board. Last seen running around near the kitchens. Some menfolk, weapons and heroics would not be amiss right about now.

Crap. I'm a manfolk. I've got weapons. Guess I gotta try to be heroic.

*Gives lissa a swift kiss on the cheek, then heads off towards the danger, drawing his claymore as he runs.*

The strawberries may have to wait.

*Runs down halls more or less at random, until he turns a corner to see Soul fire an arrow at the EI. The arrow seems to have little affect on the giant EI, other than angering it.*

*As the creature charges toward Soul, Ath throws a dirk, causing the EI to turn towards him instead.*

Oh crap, that was dumb.

*Ath manages to duck the first blow, but it's a close call. The EI is a lot faster than he'd like. He dodges a second strike, and thinking he sees an opening, swings his claymore. Unfortunately, Ath doesn't see the EI's foot coming towards him at a high rate of speed, knocking him into the wall.*

Frig. That REALLY hurt.

*He is saved being smashed by the EI by a timely arrow from Soul. Enraged the monster turns its attention once again to Soul.*

Hey, good idea Soul! You distract him with your arrows and I'll try to attack him from behind.

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

THEREALME

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 5:26 AM

* As SoulOfSerenity and Ath fight the Enemy Invader, nobody notices a spot of light appear above the battle. It expands to become a ring of fire surrounding a dark void. From this hole in reality drops TheRealMe, a squirt gun in each hand. TheRealMe lands on the shoulders of the EI, and squirts it mercilessly with Pepsimilk. The EI roars with pain as the liquid sears its sensitive eyes. *

There! I think I blinded it! Now, if…

* The EI grabs TheRealMe by his leg and swings him around like a rag doll. TheRealMe drops his squirt guns, and they clatter against the walls. *

Ahhhhhh! Dammit!

* The EI winds up and pitches TheRealMe back up through the dimensional portal hovering above. There is the faint sound of him crashing into something up there. Slowly, the hole in reality closes, to become a point of light again, which disappears. *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

CALLMEATH

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 6:04 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* As SoulOfSerenity and Ath fight the Enemy Invader, nobody notices a spot of light appear above the battle. It expands to become a ring of fire surrounding a dark void. From this hole in reality drops TheRealMe, a squirt gun in each hand. TheRealMe lands on the shoulders of the EI, and squirts it mercilessly with Pepsimilk. The EI roars with pain as the liquid sears its sensitive eyes. *

There! I think I blinded it! Now, if…

* The EI grabs TheRealMe by his leg and swings him around like a rag doll. TheRealMe drops his squirt guns, and they clatter against the walls. *

Ahhhhhh! Dammit!

* The EI winds up and pitches TheRealMe back up through the dimensional portal hovering above. There is the faint sound of him crashing into something up there. Slowly, the hole in reality closes, to become a point of light again, which disappears. *

*Blinded by PepsiMilk, the EI flails its limbs wildly, causing Soul and Ath to fall back. Soul begins peppering the EI with arrows Legolas-style, causing it to pick a direction and flee. It chooses towards the wall, and smashes through into another hallway.*

Great. If PepsiMilk doesn't work, then what will?

*Ath and Soul quickly follow the EI down the hall, hoping no one gets in it's path.*

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

EMMA

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 6:25 AM

*Emma wakes up in what appears to be the infirmary with a sore head*

Oh God, what have I done now?

*Emma remembers telling TRM about the EI wanting the ship back*

Oh no...

*Simon turns around*

Oh, you're awake good, did you say something I missed it?

No, sorry. I'm Emma have we met?

*Emma looks the doctor up and down with casual approval...hmmmm, consider getting to know this one*

*SimonWho introduces himself*

Right then, Simon, we need to get to my ship. I have to get something before the EI. No time to explain but can you take me there? I am a bit crap.

extremely dimensionally transcendental

PSYCHICRIVER

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 7:23 AM

*PR gets up, and Soul goes past him, after the EI*

*PR stalks down to the corridor, and heads off in the other direction, away from the EI.*

*As PR walks into the cargo hold area, he is hit with a gust of wind as the door is being closed and the clubhouse is being set down on the floor*

*PR walks down the flights of stairs as people start to unload from the clubhouse.*

Be careful. One of those things is loose.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

STATIC

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 11:09 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeAth:
... It chooses towards the wall, and smashes through into another hallway.*

With a shout, Static charges into the fray, having made it onto the ship in some manner cleverly omitted by the writers. He slams his shoulder into the EI, lifting it off its feet and flipping it over his back, sending it crashing to the floor with a heavy 'thud'.

Static turns around, pistols at the ready and is about to say something smug and heroic but the EI is already up and moving. With a sweeping kick, Static is knocked off his feet. As the Sereni-Tree's pilot lands on his back heavily, he squeezes off a shot, but without the benefit of trying to aim, the .44 caliber round travels just a hair wide of the target, creasing the EI's cheek in a light graze, drawing blood.

The EI screams in rage and its hand goes reflexively to its face, coming away with a bit of blood. Recognizing that it's about to become outnumbered and outgunned, the EI turns and flees once more.

Static climbs to his feet, having had the wind knocked out of him and turns to SoulofSerenity.

"I've . . .

Bridge. . .

Signal. . .

EI. . .signalled. . .someone. . .

We've...

Get out of here. . ."

Static stumble/staggers towards the bridge, hoping that the engines are working well enough to get them the heck off the ground.

CALLMESERENITY

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 11:45 AM

*The EI stumbes, half blind and wounded, back into the common room. Serenity, still perched on the hanging chandelier, sees him enter.*

Uh-oh, that thing's not dead yet!

*She notices TRM's pepsimilk squirt guns lying on the floor, so she does a spectacular swan dive for them, grabs them the second before she hits the floor and soars back upward, twisting around to begin spraying the EI with pepsimilk. He doesn't like this very much. she flies around him like a large and very pesky gnat, continually squirting him. Large boils begin to pop up on his skin where he's hit, and he bellows in pain and rage. But, too soon, the squirt guns run out of pepsimilk*

Great! Now what am I going to do?

*Serenity perches on the 2nd story landing and the EI makes a spectacular leap, grabs hold of one of the rails and begins to pull himself up. He grabs for her, but at the last moment, she jumps up and flies to the 3rd floor balcony.*

You can't catch me!

*The EI, who apparently isn't that smart (despite his charming accent) climbs up to the next railing. He reaches for Serenity, but she places a well-timed kick at his head. He flounders for a moment, windmilling both arms in the air, trying to regain his balance, then falls, hard to the floor with a loud*

THUMP

*Serenity turns away, sickened.*

"What's the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?"-H.D. Thoreau

CALLMEATH

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 12:48 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
He reaches for Serenity, but she places a well-timed kick at his head. He flounders for a moment, windmilling both arms in the air, trying to regain his balance, then falls, hard to the floor with a loud*

THUMP

*Serenity turns away, sickened.*

*Ath walks into the common room to see the EI fall to the ground with a sickening thud. He walks over to it to make sure it's dead.*

Good job Serenity! I knew there was a reason I let you continue to be.

*Ath pokes the EI with his toe, causing it to stir and groan. Ath then does the heroic thing and runs it through with his sword. (Hey, Mal would have done it)*

Great, now we just have to worry about the hundreds of other EI's that are on their way.

*Ath looks nervously towards the bridge, waiting for that stomach-dropping sensation that means the Sereni-Tree's lifting off.*

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

MAI

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 12:54 PM

Not wanting to be dead or only nearly dead Mai runs off to her room, passing Serenity and the EI in the common area.

*Scouring through the closet Mai pulls out a large wooden box and begins to pry it open. The box opens to reveal... nothing. In frustration Mai begins tearing the box apart with a handy crowbar and pieces begin to glow with a strange light.*

Whoa. WT hell?

*A lightbulb turns on and Mai realizes that this is no ordinary box. It is a box made up entirely of magical wish granting planks! She grabs two of the largest pieces and heads for the common room. where the beast seems to have been beaten down.*

Is it dead?

Well just in case...

*Takes magical planks and begins wishing with all her might*

I wish the EI would just dissappear! I wish the EI would just go away for good!

*A strange crackling sound emits from the magical planks and the light fades. The EI beast remains lying on the ground begins making a small groaning/growling noise*

CRAP!

*Throws one of the cumbersome wg planks in Serenity's direction*

Serenity! Catch! Maybe we can beat it down with the planks before it wakes up completely.

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