My psuedo-definitive Serenity review : *spoilers*

POSTED BY: mudron
UPDATED: Monday, May 9, 2005 03:21
VIEWED: 11248
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The night before any of you fellow Browncoats creep off to your local theatres to take a gander at Serenity, do yourself a huge favor: sit down with a battered copy of the “Firefly” box set and carve your way through the episodes “Out of Gas” and “Objects in Space”. Well, okay, just do it. Again.

Consider it a two-hour makeshift prequel, a treat, one last draught of earlier, happier sights with Whedon’s spacefaring crew,…. or – to paraphrase Stephen King (oh, hush) - because "I’d have you see them this way not because they have won a great battle – they know better than that, every one of them – but because now they are ka-tet for the last time. The story of their fellowship ends here, on this make-believe street and beneath this artificial sun; the rest of the tale will be short and brutal compared to all that’s gone before. Because when ka-tet breaks, the end always comes quickly.”

That slice of morbidity aside, I can tell you that I’m not the most easily impressed sonofabitch on the planet. You’re talking to a guy didn’t think much of either “Kill Bill” (not violent enough), or “Sin City” (too much in love with it’s source material to be worth a damn to anybody but the sternest Frank Miller-jockies), but Serenity? Yeah, Joss Whedon has earned a special place in my blackened heart for not only finding a way to resurrect his beloved little gaggle of anti-heroes (on the silver screen no less), but then he has the balls to take a fucking sledgehammer to his freshly-revived crew, grimly beating the entire crew within an inch of their lives (and beyond, in some cases) while the neighbors are watching.

Speaking of beatings, though: there’s a special place in hell reserved for the projectionist who worked the booth at Serenity’s Portland screening. Not only did the dozing celluloid-monkey in question forget to turn the screening room’s sound system on until halfway through Joss Whedon’s pre-recorded remarks, but then said projectionist “kinda-sorta” forgot to load reel #2 into the projector’s cue, so there was an inexplicable jump from a closeup of dirty boots of a marauding Reaver to a shouting match between Mal and the rest of his crew regarding River’s having going batshit at the Maidenhead bar in Beaumonde.

After this scene (and partway into what’ll probably come to be known as “the Godfather scene” between Mal and Book), the Universal exec in attendance finally had the film shut down (“They’ll attack you from theeee ssssshhiiiiiiiidddsssssshhhhh…..”) and asked us goofballs packed in the seats whether we’d like to wait 20 minutes for them to slap Reel #2 back into the film’s cue. Before he can even finishing asking, the exec is shouted down by cries of “REAVERS!” “YES! GOD YES!” and perhaps a few things muttered in slightly mangled Mandarin (though that may’ve just been a cry resulting from indegestion. We geeks aren’t known for our prowess with the cooking utensils, after all.)

Anyway, during the 20 minute break between reel changes, I trundle down to the lobby where I stumble across an interesting find: the Universal exec’s notes laying unattended on a cardboard box next to the door to the men’s room. I take a quick peek at the top sheet and take a mental note of the few things that’ve been jotted down (“Jayne beat up by 90 lbs girl”, etc.) on the white sheet. A few moments later, I spot the exec himself being cornered by an especially rabid Firefly fan who is bitching and moaning like a teething baby about all kinds of stuff, the Serenity’s newly-added “spindly-legs” in particular. I take a moment to defend the addition of these landing legs to the ship (they make the Serenity resemble a real – if morbidly obese – insect squatting down on it’s haunches as it lands, which cracked me up to no end) before heading back into the stinky comfort of the screening room.

Okay, this review is turning into a freaking essay, so I’ll just make a quick run-down of the good, the bad and the ugly (argh, I know, I know) of Serenity:

The Good:

- Kudos to Joss & Co. for taking a t

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I liked this review not only for its intelligent phrasing, but also for its lack of over-the-top fanboy fanaticism that seems to be saturating everyone else's reactions to the film. (Yes, I am looking at you, posters on the the Universal site...you all know who I mean)

I doubt that Universal will remove all the sound from space simply b/c the vast majority of theater-goers are expecting to see (or rather hear) those lasers going Zap! and those explosions going KaBlooie! However, as you pointed out, they did limit the scenes with sound and it worked really well as a point of contrast for when all those cute and cuddly Reavers got to play with our fun-loving Alliance.

You also brought up a point I have been trying to get clarified ever since watching the film. At the end, the entire crew is pretty beat up and many would probably not have survived if not for immediate medical treatment. I can understand how they would have received this treatment, though so that is not my issue.

My question concerns that of the Alliance Operative and what Mal did to him to keep him both mute and incapacitated, but from which he was able to not only give orders to stand down but also make a full recovery?

My initial thought was that he crushed the man's windpipe and broke his back...then left him to his last few minutes of life watching his beliefs in the Alliance be shattered by the video broadcast. If this was the case, though, the assassin would not have been able to issue any orders afterwards, having come down with a severe case of death.

I guess that medics could have gotten to the guy before he died to work their magic and save him (similiar to how all the rest of crew was all cured of their ailments), but we see him walking around like nothing had happened and chatting amicably so I doubt my assessment of his injuries was correct.

Has anyone got any light to shed on this for me? I am sorry for going a little off-topic, but this has been bugging me since Thursday.

-Oxy


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'What people call impossible is just stuff they
haven't seen yet...'

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SPOILERS FOLLOW!!!! DO NOT READ ON THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEE THE MOVIE!!!
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I think it's possibly a little brass eye'd to call this review definitive, but it is good. It pretty much agrees with some of my thoughts on the movie.

Regarding the Serenity font.... In all honesty, in the grand scheme of things I don't think it much matters. There are bigger issues to worry about for 'versal.

The fact somebody complained about Serenity's landing legs worries me. Hello?

I think the final 1/4 of the film is indeed a shooting/stab match gone overdrive, and: I think it really works. It draws people in. Certainly, it threw some people out as they couldn't cope with the idea that Mal's sucide mission might actually be, well, sucide. I think the idea that people can and do actually die frightens people.

My good, bad and ugly;


Good:

- Reavers. Tres cool. The explaination, too, is simple but not over the top.

- Simon. Simon steps up. He goes balls.

- River. Give the girl an axe more often: it's fun.

- Book. I actually LIKED his scenes with Mal. I liked the fact he wasn't going to tell Mal who he was, but he just had to believe in something.

- The forementioned 5 minute Serenity-crew and ship Steadycam introduction. It just freakin' rocks.

- Lots more (I need to see it again).

The bad;

- I wasn't a great fan of Mr. Universe. I quite like the actor, but the part didn't quite work for me. A little too much 'plot device' for me. (I'm not saying I could do better, like).

The ugly;

- Buffy bot.

All in all, I think Serenity does a bang up job of advancing the Fireflyverse plot, giving us some character moments (Simon and Kaylee, bless), making people laugh and making people feel emotion.

It's a film that will stick with me, and will be rewatchable in 15 years.

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aaaarrrgggh!!!! I have so long to wait to see this movie, wahhhh!!! I will watch it on my days off, and then count the days for it to come out on a special DVD with lots of extras. I will have to focus on that, I guess.

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Quote:

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Originally posted by WhoIsRiver:
SPOILERS FOLLOW!!!! DO NOT READ ON THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEE THE MOVIE!!!

Select to view spoiler:

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- Reavers. Tres cool. The explaination, too, is simple but not over the top.

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What's their explanation?

Come on, sock it to me. I live on spoilers.

Also, what's the tactics used by the Alliance and Reaver fleets in space? Does their battle make sense? I've been geekily debating with myself over who would win, comparing the Alliance to the Roman infantry and the Reavers to some barbarian horde-- it doesn't matter if the Romans are outmanned or not fighting on their own turf, they'll still win because they have vastly superior training, discipline, and equipment. So too, I have been thinking, it would be in a dust-up between the Alliance and the Reavers. Unless the Reavers have some sort of military genius on their side...

Spoiler me rotten.

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I'm not saying the explaination. Honestly, Serenity works much better unspoiled on many levels.

Regarding Alliance vs Reavers... It's like Cavemen Vs Astronaughts!

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Quote:

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Originally posted by DeSangro:

Quote:

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Originally posted by WhoIsRiver:
SPOILERS FOLLOW!!!! DO NOT READ ON THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEE THE MOVIE!!!

Also, what's the tactics used by the Alliance and Reaver fleets in space? Does their battle make sense? I've been geekily debating with myself over who would win, comparing the Alliance to the Roman infantry and the Reavers to some barbarian horde-- it doesn't matter if the Romans are outmanned or not fighting on their own turf, they'll still win because they have vastly superior training, discipline, and equipment. So too, I have been thinking, it would be in a dust-up between the Alliance and the Reavers. Unless the Reavers have some sort of military genius on their side...

Spoiler me rotten.

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Select to view spoiler:

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Christ, i didn't even think about who actually won that fight until you just asked! (Which is understandable, considering that the audience's attention is fixed suarely on the plight of the Serenity and her crew as she shucks and jives through the fight in an attempt to put herself as far away from that pissing-match as quickly as possible...)

Anyway, I guess it's safe to assume that the Alliance won, considering they're the only ones seen mopping up after the fight. Though it's a bit surprising to imagine that they won, considering that the reaction of the Alliance crewmen to the sight of a huge Reaver armada suddenly erupting from a dust cloud was something straight out of a Monthy Python flick: "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

But yeah, the battle - what little we see of it - is pretty rough-and-tumble, what with the larger capital ships tumbling & crashing into one another while the smaller fighters dart about the fiery wreckage....

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