Bad News; Serenity going staight to DVD

POSTED BY: BlackoutNights
UPDATED: Saturday, April 1, 2006 15:11
VIEWED: 21006
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BLACKOUTNIGHTS

Friday, April 1, 2005 6:08 PM

Universal sci-fi thriller “Serenity” headed strait to DVD

By Ami Railtafgib
Staff Writer

A source at Universal films who wished not to be named said today that the studio’s much anticipated release of the science-fiction film “Serenity” will not be shown on the silver screen this fall and will instead be mass marketed on DVD just in time for Christmas.
“After our test screenings, we just thought this would be the best move,” said the source, who wished not to be named. “We understand this will upset the six or seven fans out there who were waiting for the movie, but we need more than that for a blockbuster.”
The film was to take up where Joss Whedon’s short-lived television series “Firefly” ended.
Based upon huge DVD sales of that series, Universal entered into a contract with Whedon to produce the movie. However, it was discovered last month that the sales numbers were less than truthful about the amount of fans in the marketplace.
“What we have here is the case of three rabid fans buying more than 2 million copies of this series,” said the source, “and then using multiple on-line aliases to make it seem like there’s an audience for this film.”
“It’s deceptive; it’s untrue, and Universal is ashamed to even be associated with this thing. While we appreciate all the hard work of the cast and crew, the notion of us showing this movie to empty theaters worldwide is less than appealing.”
Whedon said in a telephone interview he was unaware of the studio’s move. Star Nathan Fillion, the captain of the starship the movie was named after, also was surprised.
“Who told you this?” Fillion asked.
And actress Summer Glau sounded on the verge of tears.
“This was going to be my breakout movie!!”
Still, Universal believes Christmas sales of the DVD will be excellent.
“Those fans who bought the series will buy multiple copies of the movie to try and get us to make a sequel,” the source laughed. “It’s wishful thinking, but that’s not going to happen.”

ZAPHODB

Friday, April 1, 2005 6:11 PM

And so April Fool's Day begins....

Industrial Looniee & Madness - http://www3.telus.net/vchrusch

RAT

Friday, April 1, 2005 6:14 PM

Cute!

-Ratboy

THESOMNAMBULIST

Friday, April 1, 2005 6:25 PM

Dood - that was not funny.

I almost put my boot through my monitor from disgust.!

April fool's ! - What numbskull thought of this. Everyday is pretty much a practical joke as it is!!!!

I'm off to take some oxygen.

Thanks
TheSomnambulist

www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
http://www.cirqus.com/lightfantastic.html

TOMANTA

Friday, April 1, 2005 6:38 PM

Not so much funny as just cruel....

---
"Timeline? Time isn't made out of lines, it's made out of circles. That's why clocks are round."

EBONEZER

Friday, April 1, 2005 6:44 PM

Oh you guys, give 'em a break. Its April Fools day, if you can't take a joke, probably you should go back to bed right now.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

CIARA

Friday, April 1, 2005 6:45 PM

~snicker~ cruelly funny, or funnily cruel, I cant' decide--*happy sigh* ahhhh a legitimate reason to lie--all day long!!! Does that seem right you you?

Just a humble supplicant in service to all things Joss

BROWNCOAT1

Friday, April 1, 2005 6:49 PM

Two words:

SPECIAL HELL!!!

__________________________________________

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

Richmond, VA & surrounding area Firefly Meet Up:
http://firefly.meetup.com/9/boards/

HAKEN

Friday, April 1, 2005 7:10 PM

Let me join you in that special hell. For at least one day anyway.

LUPINS

Friday, April 1, 2005 7:29 PM

Evil!!! This was just evil!!!

I've had a crappy crappy work week and this almost brought me to tears. Thank GOODNESS this is a joke...this is a joke...right??

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