BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!
POSTED BY: Knibblet
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 16, 2005 02:39
VIEWED: 12503
PAGE 2 of 5
TV:
Reaver Eye for the Alliance Guy
Battlestar Serenity
FILM:
Saving Private Reynolds
Serenity 2: Unification Day
Serenity 3: Rise of the Reavers
There's Something About River
Meet Jayne's Parents
I'll rape you to death.
I'll eat your flesh.
I'll sew your skin into my clothes.
If you're very very lucky, I'll do it in that order - TheReaver
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Quote:
Originally posted by ImEarly:
lets go for:
Leave it to Reaver
Los Angeles CA (AP)--Disaster struck again on the set of the popular sitcom "Leave it To Reaver" as the body of Jack Stone--known to fans of the program as "Father"--was found brutally murdered in his trailer.
Police describe the slaying as particularly cruel. "Well, we're pretty sure he was raped to death, and his flesh was eaten. It appears that his skin was removed as well, and the cutting pattern indicates that it was intended to be sewn into someone's clothing. Of course, we can't be sure it was done in that order," said police detective Larry Straw.
The killing of Mr. Stone is the fifth murder to take place on the set of the television show. Police sources indicate that a single individual may have been behind all five killings.
Fox executives are taking the news hard. In an official press release, the network stated, "Once again, the Fox network is saddened by this loss. The death of Mr. Stone will mean that we will have to cast yet another replacement actor for the part...On the other hand, salary negotiations were coming up, and we at Fox are pleased to say that as a result of these murders, we've been able to keep production costs down."
The only original cast member left is "Reaver"--a precocious youngster whose hobbies include self-mutilation, playing with knives and making leather clothing.
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I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.
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I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.
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Ok, now THAT was BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
"Oh I'm going to the special hell."-Mal
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Seconded, Shiny4004! Tipping o' the hat to InevitableBetrayal for the press release!
MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."
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Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJester:
Tipping o' the hat to InevitableBetrayal for the press release!
Thank you very much! When I heard "Leave it to Reaver" my mind played out that scenario immediately, so I thought I'd share. It's about time that the journalism degree did somebody some good!
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I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.
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Desperate Browncoats?
Everybody Loves Inara?
Malcolm in the Middle? Oh, wait, that's been done.
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lol Seriously though, really great job. Now I command you to do another one, equally as brillant of course. 
"Oh I'm going to the special hell."-Mal
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Ours is an odd and wonderful bunch. Thanks for making me laugh.
Let's have more ... come on, get to work.
Alliance in the Family: A story about a bigoted alliance hat wearer and the family who drives him crazy.
Star Whores: Reality program built around freshman year at Sinon Companion Academy.
Wait for the episode on Hell Week.
Kate and Vera: A story about a single mom who inherits Jayne's very favorite gun.
"Just keep walkin, preacher man."
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shiny4004:
lol Seriously though, really great job. Now I command you to do another one, equally as brillant of course.
You've stumbled onto my only weakness! When I try to be funny, it sucks. I'll tell you what, I'll keep my eye on the board and if inspiration strikes, well then...
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I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.
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