Rift in space-time continuum reveals Fox's fall 2010 line-up...

POSTED BY: Haplo721
UPDATED: Thursday, January 30, 2003 18:48
VIEWED: 5041
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HAPLO721

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 8:45 PM

Please note that much of the (fake) synopses for the (fake) shows are offensive. Nevertheless, it's probably an accurate portrayal of what will be on TV in 7 years' time...
You have been warned.
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Monday:
8 PM- Celebrity Execution- Michael J. Fox gets the chair.

9 PM- World's Brutalest Gang Rapes- 12-year old Vietnamese girl, elderly black woman, infant boy.

10 PM- Law & Order: Minority Brutality Unit- Detectives Cooke and Swanson beat a Jew with sledgehammers.

Tuesday:
8 PM- Hey, Hitler!- Der Fuhrer is caught in bed with a 14-year-old Gypsy, hijinks ensue as he tries to explain it to Eva.

9 PM- Satan vs God- Our intrepid band of devil-worshippers targets a Baptist church, burning it to the ground with 50 people inside.

10 PM- World's Bloodiest Maulings- Wild boar gores man to death, Mafia gives stoolie an Italian Necktie, and a Fox cameraman is trampled by bulls.

Wednesday:
8 PM- Will They Eat It?- The contestants must consume human livers.

9 PM- Gonorrhea Island- The race to concieve a baby before everyone catches the clap continues.

10 PM- Sell Your Mama- The offer for tonight's contestant crosses the $400,000 mark.

Thursday:
8 PM- When Snakes Are Thrown At People- Tonight- King Cobras vs. people in wheelchairs.

9 PM- 30 Seconds To Orgasm- Tonight's featured act- George H. climaxes in 10 seconds without any porn.

10 PM- Ow, That Hurts- Contestants have their fingers and toes sliced off one by one. Last one to scream gets $1,000 plus medical expenses, losers have salt poured on wounds.

Friday:
8 PM- A Tribute to Tentacle Porn- Fox salutes this, the highest of all art forms, and takes a look at its illustrious history, from animated fantasy to actual demons summoned from Hell to rape criminals to death for your amusement.

9 PM- State of the Planet Address- Our illustrious world leader, and head of Fox programming since 2001, Lucifer, brings us up-to-date in the War on Righteousness.

10 PM- Lobotomy Live- In the series finale, the last remaining humans with an IQ over 75- Firefly fans- are turned into mindless automatons by having their brain sliced in half.

Here lies my darling wife Zoe, my autumn flower.
Not quite so attractive now she's all corpsified and gross.

BROWNCOAT1

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 8:54 PM

The scary thing is that you are probably not too far off the mark.

Good for a laugh though.

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

LOSTANGEL

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:10 PM

You forgot the Jerry Springer show.

______________________
Lost Angel

WASH: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
ZOE: We live in a space ship, dear.
WASH: So?

HAPLO721

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:13 PM

Actually, Ow, That Hurts IS the Jerry Springer Show, they just reworked it when they realized that the violence was the main draw anyway.

LOSTANGEL

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:31 PM

Really? How are we going to find out about "my woman is a drug-addicted, transvestite prostitute that's cheating on me with my dog"?

______________________
Lost Angel

WASH: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
ZOE: We live in a space ship, dear.
WASH: So?

HAPLO721

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:52 PM

That's covered by the spin-off, Gonorrhea Island.

LOSTANGEL

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 10:05 PM

You forgot the worst, most heinous program...

Barney the Dinosaur!

______________________
Lost Angel

WASH: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
ZOE: We live in a space ship, dear.
WASH: So?

FURYFIRE

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 10:46 PM

Law & Order: MBU is classic, hold on to that one.

If you know anyone that can help my screenwriting career, please help! And yes, I am self-advertising here. Hehehe, me such a little devil.

HAPLO721

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 11:04 PM

Joss could pitch one or two of these shows to Fox, then use the profits to privately bankroll all his shows for the rest of his career.

Only he won't, because he has integrity.

Here lies my darling wife Zoe, my autumn flower.
Not quite so attractive now she's all corpsified and gross.

HAPLO721

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 11:05 PM

Joss could pitch one or two of these shows to Fox, then use the profits to privately bankroll all his shows for the rest of his career.

Only he won't, because he has integrity.

Here lies my darling wife Zoe, my autumn flower.
Not quite so attractive now she's all corpsified and gross.

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