The Virtual Series Project (2)

POSTED BY: LegalBegal
UPDATED: Thursday, January 30, 2003 15:49
VIEWED: 21268
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KAYLEEHOLIC

Thursday, January 23, 2003 5:37 PM

Right.

I think the bit at the ending of Act 1 should be shifted to the end of Act 2. We have enough ideas that we can fill out a second Act before we have the accident. Also, by doing this here, we also loose the bits with Hui and Early ( which we may want to stick in one of Niska's goons instead and save Early for a later episode, or at least until we find out whether Early or Saffron appears in Trash, there seems to be some debate on that ). It would also help lengthen the episode.

Perhaps Niska actually captures the three who've been stranded on Isis. And that means we could, at least, expand it to two episodes entitled, as has been hypothesised as Object in Motion and Objects at Rest.

But Niska won't kill River/Book/Jayne because he wants revenge on Mal and Serenity. He wants to lure Mal to him.

Perhaps, though we've had Simon admit his feelings for Kaylee whilst they're stuck in the escape pod, he puts her safety aside for River and she realises that he can't love her until River is better.

At the end of the episode, she appears to be getting 'closer' to Jayne as well.

This would fit in with the 'we can't spring a relationship this early' crowd and the 'simon would never be able to put kaylee before river' crowd. whilst still significantly progressing with both of their relationships ?

-------------------------------------------------

JAYNE: Anybody remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?

WASH: Wacky fun.

JAYNE: (annoyed) You wanna go, little man?

WASH: (flippantly) Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

One of my favourite Wash/Jayne segments.

GUAILO

Thursday, January 23, 2003 5:54 PM

Hate to be a spoil sport, but I see several big hole.

Mal doesn't see hi screw as part of his ship, rather the other way around; he sees his ship as part of his crew. There's a huge difference. I don't see where he'd be deliberately demeaning to any of them save Inara, and that seems to be exclusive treatment. Tone him down quite a bit and instead make it a question of profit or convenience. If there's no money in it, they have to do something that makes enough money to afford the expense.

Jayne isn't a complete wretch, he's just a jerk. I don't think he cares if River talks or not as long as she isn't cuttin' him. Jayne is simple excruciatingly self centered, but I think getting shut in the air-lock and having a little reflective moment would have cured him of some of that. The bit about him swiping River's food is great, but I can't envision him and Book benchpressing together or him bing directly mean to anyone. Both of those latter actions are just too much in the extreme for Jayne. He'd sooner disappear into his cabin and pout. Think 12 year old bully.

Simon badgers Mal for a cut so he can afford medicine, which they have, but not the right kind, although Simon doesn't even know what kind the right kind would be. However, he convinces Mal at some effort because it's the only thing that will save his sister, and then he promptly threatens to back out of the deal with Hui unless he gets a higher cut. Does any of this make sense to anyone really?

I think a far greater bargaining chip for Simon is that he still needs info or some kind of data to compile and test what he already knows. River's case is strange and he knows there has been neurological testing, but Serenity is ill equipped to do medical research. If anything, he'd need an upgrade to the infirmary, not drugs. Mal works for a living and he could see that as a benefit to the whole crew and go for it in a second though.

So what conflict would work better? Simon realizes that their supply of stolen drugs will run out and he will need more. Mal realizes that they can't go robbing Alliance hospitals all that frequently. So Simon's solution is to get a cut of the take on the next crime, which Mal doesn't want because it would require Simon to participate more directly and Mal doesn't want his doctor getting hurt or worse; just logical. So Simon says he will participate if that's what it takes, Mal says "no" and Simon pulls his ace: He'll leave with River and take his chances; if there's no way to help her here then he'll leave and take his chances.

Now that's a threat.

The only problem I have with that is I never saw Simon as being confrontational at all.

Not sure who the Lu kid is or what he's doing, but if it's not related to the plot, he doesn't need to be there.

Now everyone can smack me with wet rope...(lol)

Mal: “The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.”

LOSTANGEL

Thursday, January 23, 2003 7:09 PM

Where's our forum! I want our own forum! *throws a temper tantrum*

I don't think that Mal calling Simon a lightbulb was mean, he just got his hackles up because Simon was questioning his rules in front of other people and it came out harsher than he meant it to. (bosses don't like to be questioned in front of their subordinates. It breaks the whole respect your superiors flow) Any way, I was thinking that Simon's show of independence could be fueled by his desparation. He showed the crew that he wouldn't back down when Kaylee was shot in the pilot. It wracked him with guilt afterwards, but in a pinch he'll do it.

We could have Book and Jayne in the galley with Book cooking and Jayne hanging out there because there's nothing else to do.

I think that Simon asking for his cut to be parts to monitor the Alliance would be good because then he could try to hack into the Alliance hospital network database or something to see if there is any information on what was done to his sister. He wouldn't need an entire doo-hicky, just enough to add onto the ship to modify what they already have. Mal could agree because anything to keep one step ahead of the alliance is a good thing to Mal.

I also agree with you on the Lu kid. We could save him for another episode that involves kidnapping Kaylee, but there's too much going on in this one.

I don't like the idea of Inara taking on an apprentice. This could get too messy, and the apprentice would just be window dressing unless she had something to do as well, and with 9 main characters, one more would be too much.

Otherwise, I like it, if I do say so myself. More to come!

______________________
Lost Angel

WASH: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
ZOE: We live in a space ship, dear.
WASH: So?

GREYBARD

Thursday, January 23, 2003 7:18 PM

The hell?

Hmmmm...., Guailo, do you need copies of Serenity, Objects in Space or Safe? (I can get those for you)
Because there's lots of confrontational Simon there. Funny, snarky, angry, nearly ruthless Simon.

GUAILO

Thursday, January 23, 2003 7:31 PM

I didn't say Simon isn't confrontational, I said I didn't see him as all that confrontational, or at least that's what I meant. And SImon isn't all that confrontational so much as petulant and he got over that as the show progressed.

Jayne = confrontational.
Simon = moody.

Sides, I've got copies of nothing and no real way to play a VCD back at the home. I've been scrounging for old fashioned VHS but noone seems to deal in such archaic technology anymore (lol).

Mal: “The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.”

LOSTANGEL

Thursday, January 23, 2003 7:54 PM

Petulant. Hmm, I like that. As much as I lust over Simon, and admire his noble qualities (can't go into detail here, this is a family show) I like the whole "feet of clay" aspect here. So far we have seen good and bad sides to these people, but not so much from Simon, except for that scene where he stomps all over little Kaylee's heart in that general store over that plate.

If you go to fox.com/firefly, I think they have a thread there called tape tree where they still deal with VHS.

But, we could have Simon want to be "like the guys" where, like Wash but for different reasons, he wants to prove his manhood (OK, down girl ) by showing he can handle himself in a fight. Might make for a nice time filler.

Forgive my outbursts, I'm in a WEIRD mood today!
______________________
Lost Angel

WASH: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
ZOE: We live in a space ship, dear.
WASH: So?

LOSTANGEL

Thursday, January 23, 2003 8:13 PM

Guailo:

I changed my mind. We could dumb down the show long enough to see Jayne all sweaty with no shirt on. (that was the bad Lost Angel talking by the way)

Nick:
I have to disagree with your opinion of Mal's opinion of River. While almost everyone on board has sympathy towards River, I don't think she is considered a valuable crew member yet. Mal has to be practical, we've already seen where he puts aside his feelings for the good of the ship/crew/situation. While River did save the day, she has no everyday chores, can't be trusted with a gun, and disrupts the routine of the ship. While we have seen River be useful (killing people with math) we have not seen enough of her other skills, and right now can't assume that Mal has either.

Kayleeholic:

Let's make it one of Niska's goons. Call me squeemish, but Niska just likes to hurt too much, and if they were being held waiting for him, it might be scary without someone else being horribly mutilated.

Just my opinion, but Niska is like someone that you should bring out a little at a time.

Or am I being a big baby? =p

And another thing, let's make a rule that we can't call ourselves idiots and other silly names like this. I haven't heard anyone getting offended by differing opinions, and anyone hurt has had the good manners to cry later. (lol) We are all an intelligent, creative bunch (I should know, I have high standards for the people I associate with ) that is just doing our best until the Big Man (Joss) gets back in town. Keep the ideas flowing and no putting ourselves down. Let's save all that negativity for Joe Millionaire! (yes, I'm a bad person, I have my own hell, I'll be lucky to end up with the people that talk in movie theatres)

______________________
Lost Angel

WASH: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
ZOE: We live in a space ship, dear.
WASH: So?

LOSTANGEL

Thursday, January 23, 2003 9:18 PM

How about this to deal with Simon's apparent greed, and Mal's being ok with it. He doesn't get paid in dollars, he gets paid in something that goes back to the ship which if you think about it, is not getting paid at all:

HUI: Huh? Well, you drive a hard bargain… I guess…

SIMON: What is the cargo?

HUI: Does it matter? It’s cargo.

SIMON: How am I supposed to talk an Alliance Guild Transport into handing over my cargo if I don’t know what it is?

HUI: Fine. It’s components to pick up Alliance waves on planets that don’t have a Cortex.

SIMON: My share is to be part of the cargo.

MAL: Son, you mind?

SIMON: I’m firm. Those are the terms. Agree, or I refuse, and you’re (to Hui) out a set of Fancy Pants and you (to Mal) are out a job.

MAL: Uh, Hui? Do you mind if me an’ the good doctor speak private like? We’ll just be a minute.

Simon and Mal get up and walk away a little. Wash and Hui are carrying on a spirited discussion of ships, jobs, and the past in general. Somewhere in the background the roar of beasts and the click of plastic dinosaurs battling can be heard.

MAL: What are you doin’?

Simon: Mal, this is the only way that I can figure out how to help River. The medicine isn’t working, and she’s getting worse. If I have that equipment, maybe I can find a way to access the Alliance database and see if there’s something I’ve missed. Besides, think of the value of being able to monitor the Alliance.

MAL cocks his head: You aren't really intersted in the money, are you?

SIMON: Of course not.

MAL: So why'd you say all that before, ?

SIMON: Because it's the only thing you people understand and I'd starve to death if it meant helping heal my sister.
(MAL hesitates, staring SIMON in the eye)

MAL: Good point.

SIMON: Which one?

MAL: Pick one. Looks like you got yourself a deal, Dr. Fancy Pants.

______________________
Lost Angel

WASH: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
ZOE: We live in a space ship, dear.
WASH: So?

SARAHETC

Thursday, January 23, 2003 9:43 PM

Lookin' good, if a little melodramatic what with the starving. :)

I should go on with my subplot, huh? Or not. Somebody vaguely organizing this let me know whether I should continue that.

Whatever.

Sarah

GUAILO

Thursday, January 23, 2003 9:44 PM

I kinda would rather see Hui not getting double crossed by the gang. I mean Simon might have that idea and Mal could pull him asside like you have written, vut end it like this:

MAL: Good point.

SIMON: Which one?

MAL: Pick one.

(Simon smiles and MAL grins back, and SIMON turns to walk back to finish the deal with WASH and HUI. Mal grabs his shirt sleeve and stops him.)

SIMON: What?

MAL: One point you forgot to make.

SIMON: Yes?

MAL: Your plan has us double crossin' the friend of a friend who, up until your plan, and I dare say after it, will hate us like hot poker in the eye. (continues to smile knowingly)

SIMON: ...I...er...

MAL: Right. So we do it my way.

SIMON: ...yeah.

MAL: Good. Nice try too. Very devious and wretchid of ya.

SIMON: Thanks. (smiles. they return to HUI's shop)

That sort of exchange will allow Simon's character to continue to evolve into the "scoundrel" type, doing crime to save his sister, but it also shows that Mal is better at it, and altough it might be a good idea to double cross someone eventually, now isn't the best time. It safely keeps Hui a "good guy" and makes it clear that Mal knows that Hui is just driving a hard bargain, wheras Simon thinks he's being a hard-case and tries to one-up Hui by pushing the issue of his cut.

Mal: “The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.”

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