The Treehouse Gala Pageant That Loads Faster!

POSTED BY: Malicious
UPDATED: Thursday, February 3, 2005 20:33
VIEWED: 15437
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THEREALME

Saturday, January 29, 2005 4:32 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
On behalf of me, I would like to accept the Sereni-tree sash as the gala pageant winner. The honor you do me, honors my....honor.

What? After all the effort I went to with my dress and make up? I waxed my legs for you to just take the crown?

* The Real Me nods sadly. *

Yes. I expected something like this, which is why I was reluctant to enter this contest in the first place. I suppose that I should have warned you, but I hoped it might be different this time.

Hey, would anybody like to place some side bets on who the winner of the "bizzare dress" contest is going to be?

No takers? Didn't think so.

While the prize will undoubtedly go to Mal-licious, I think that those of us not in the "bizzare dress" contest need to vote for one of those individuals who are actually participating, in order to show our appreciation for the effort they are expending.

* The Real Me collects his butterflies and heads off toward his room, dejectedly dragging three palm fronds behind him. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

MONTANAGIRL

Sunday, January 30, 2005 4:37 AM

I'm just posting this because my computer's been acting weird all afternoon, and I want to see if my page will update if I post.

Oh, and I'm also starting to get woozy from my headband. TRM, is it safe to take off or will I have to wrestle it into submission?

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

MAI

Sunday, January 30, 2005 7:43 AM

"I think that those of us not in the "bizzare dress" contest need to vote for one of those individuals who are actually participating, in order to show our appreciation for the effort they are expending."

*Mai enters common room still dressed in amazingly shiny dress of leaves*

ATTENTION PLEASE! As a contestant in the bizarre dress contest I would like a chance to explain my ensemble to the voters.

First, I chose to make the dress of material of leaves in reverence to the Tree House. What better way to express my love of for this unique gathering place (and its even more unique inhabitants).

Secondly, its good for the environment! It's recycling fallen leaves without all the hassle of composting!

Lastly, because of this contest, I have decided to start my own environmentally friendly clothing line.
The dress I am sporting is merely a preview of what I have deemed the Fall Foliage Collection. All proceeds from the sale of this line, of course going directly back to the Tree House, for basic upkeep, booze, and replacement of furniture and such things that tend to be broken a lot, etc...

Revered members of the tree house thank you for valuable time.

*Mai bows gracefully to the audience* It appears the leaves are beginning to wilt and oh my...
Ummm, I'll be right back. I have to go and find some fresh leaves to make a new more umm "healthy" dress.
*shuffles backwards out of room very slowly*

THEREALME

Sunday, January 30, 2005 8:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:

Oh, and I'm also starting to get woozy from my headband. TRM, is it safe to take off or will I have to wrestle it into submission?

* The Real Me pauses on the way to his room. *

Right. Of course. Here, allow me to help.

* The Real Me comes near MontanaGirl. He shifts all three palm fronds to one set of hands while his other pair slowly approach the two waving ribbons of MontanaGirl's headband. Suddenly, he grabs them. They react violently, like snakes being grabbed on some Discovery Channel show. The Real Me twists them about so that only the center of the ribbon is attached to MontanaGirl's forehead, but it seems stuck there. The Real Me smiles. *

Persistent little thing, isn't it?

* The Real Me drops the palm fronds and pushes against MontanaGirl's shoulders with two of his hands while pulling the ribbon ends with his other two. The ribbon lets go, and The Real Me goes tumbling backward. He quickly hops up. The ribbon seems dead in his hands. He stuffs it into a drinking glass and hands it over. *

Since I keyed it to you, it will always try to attach to you when you touch it. If you keep it in that glass, it will just sit there. If you need help putting it on later, just let me know. You could also try wearing it on an arm, leg, or your torso. Good day!

* The Real Me picks up his palm fronds and heads off toward his room. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

THEREALME

Sunday, January 30, 2005 8:43 AM

* The Real Me pauses again, and turns toward Mai. He claps with two of his hands. *

Thank you, Mai. That dress is an excellent idea! You know, if you need more raw materials, we have a dimensional portal set up in the boiler room that takes you to Zoid's Pub at the Bottom of the Tree. You could get more leaves from the Tree.

Now, if you will all excuse me for a short time, I need to get out of this attire.

* The Real Me indicates the numerous ribbons floating around his form. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

THEREALME

Sunday, January 30, 2005 9:13 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:

*montanagirl goes in back and changes into almost floor length silvery slinky dress. It is complimented with an Evenstar necklace and silver dangly earrings. Unfortunately there are no shoes to go along with it, so she goes ahead and wears her cowboy boots.*

So guys, whadda ya think?

Uh...

Are the cowboy boots color-coordinated with the slinkly, silvery elven gown?

Also, those would more properly be called cowGIRL boots, right?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

MAI

Sunday, January 30, 2005 11:38 AM

Ok, so to be honest the dimensional portal thingy scares me a little. How exactly does it work? I really am in desperate need of more leaves, vines, and flowers. Ok, I guess a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. So, I am going to brave and just jump right in, but first...

If I don't return it probably means I have been sucked into some scary alternate dimension and am helplessly lost.
Of course, it also could mean that I got "sidetracked" at Zoid's Pub and am too sloshed to find my back up to the Tree House.
Either way, if I am not back within the hour, could someone please come and look for me?

SIMONWHO

Sunday, January 30, 2005 2:06 PM

*checks watch*

Uh oh.

THEREALME

Sunday, January 30, 2005 5:55 PM

* The Real Me returns to his suite of rooms, dead tired. He has done his best in this pageant, but that is over, now. As he closes the door behind him, he begins to pull off the clinging ribbons of black cloth and drops them to the floor, where they wiggle for a time. He needs the help of the Ebo Golem to remove some of the more persistent pieces of fabric from his body. *

Ebo Golem, please gather these up, fold them neatly, and place them in my dresser. Hmmmm… how am I going to launder them? They’re likely to get irritated and attempt to escape the washing machine. Hmmm... is it even SAFE to launder them? I guess I ought to read the instructions.

* The Real Me shrugs, then sticks the bases of the three palm fronds in a bucket of water to try to keep them fresh. Next, The Real Me goes to his laboratory. He unbuckles the cybernetic harness that allows him to use Sparky’s two robotic arms as his own. Then, he carefully detaches those arms from the harness and returns them to his workbench with the rest of Sparky. *

Heh. THAT was a good trick.

* Then he takes a quick shower and gets dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, ready for whatever happens next. *

Hmmm… maybe it’s time for me to see if our butterfly thrusters really ARE breeding…

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

THEREALME

Sunday, January 30, 2005 6:14 PM

* The Real Me returns from his room, showered, refreshed, and in a new change of clothes (and with only two arms). He stops when he notices a worried look on the face of SimonWho. *

Doctor, what’s wrong?

* SimonWho shakes his head gravely and points to the last couple of posts. The Real Me reads. *

Hmmmm… Mai is missing? This could be serious. I shall investigate!

* As The Real Me departs, he sort of wishes that SimonWho would stop wearing that “vampy” dress, now that the pageant is over. It’s down-right unsettling! On his way to the boiler room that contains the permanent dimensional portal to Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom of the Tree, The Real Me notices Cozen relaxing in a jacuzzi. *

Huh! When did we get one of those?

* In the boiler room, The Real Me makes a frightening discovery. A vandal or saboteur has ripped out some of the critical steam pipes used to maintain and stabilize the permanent portal. The portal itself is wobbling in four of its eleven dimensions and is about to implode! With great effort, The Real Me uses his own powers to slowly shut the portal down, dimension by dimension.

Whew! THAT was close.

* The Real Me then realizes with some shock that if Mai went through the portal while it was in that state, then she could be ANYWHERE! Or ANYWHEN! *

Well, there are a couple of obvious places to check.

* The Real Me opens one of his personal dimensional portals onto Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom. He sticks his upper body through it. *

Hello! Mai? Hey, Zoid! Have you seen Mai?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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