The Treehouse Gala Pageant That Loads Faster!

POSTED BY: Malicious
UPDATED: Thursday, February 3, 2005 20:33
VIEWED: 15437
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MONTANAGIRL

Friday, January 28, 2005 2:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* With no warning, and from a few steps away, The Real Me turns and pitches the shot glass directly at the spot between MontanaGirl’s eyes. One end of her black ribbon reacts instantly, slapping the missile to one side. *

There! You should be adequately protected, now. Think of it as a “Headband of Protection”. Just remember to take it off from time to time, or else it might drain away your life energy.

Shiny! Throw something else at me, this is fun! All is forgiven, although I wasn't really carrying a grudge. I'm used to getting bruised up, it happens all the time at work. (From restraining animals, not whatever else you might be thinking.

) And if I topple off my barstool because I've been drained of life energy, just give me a Pepsi and I'll be good to go again.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

MAI

Friday, January 28, 2005 2:32 AM

Thanks TRM! I'm kind of hoping there's a separate contest for the girls as I am afraid some of you guys are much more enthusiastic (not to mention prettier in those lovely slinky dresses. Not that I am afraid of a little competion mind you.

Just let me know when it's my turn for the limelight. I have to go adjust some of my leaves, I'd hate to be "over exposed" for my moment of glory.

THEREALME

Friday, January 28, 2005 2:42 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
Thanks TRM! I'm kind of hoping there's a separate contest for the girls as I am afraid some of you guys are much more enthusiastic (not to mention prettier in those lovely slinky dresses. Not that I am afraid of a little competion mind you.

Just let me know when it's my turn for the limelight. I have to go adjust some of my leaves, I'd hate to be "over exposed" for my moment of glory.

Over exposed? Pah! I wouldn't worry about that...

* ...The Real Me says, staring intently. *

Ummm... How about this. Since Mal-licious saw fit to start the thread called "The Treehouse Gala Pageant That Loads Faster" right near the end of the current pageant, let's hold ANOTHER pageant immediately afterward for the ladies!

Some of the men can sit as judges! That would be unusual (as well as fair)!

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

THEREALME

Friday, January 28, 2005 2:45 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:

Shiny! Throw something else at me, this is fun!

Uh... Okay.

* The Real Me reaches behind the bar, picks up the hiding Rat, and throws him at MontanaGirl. He, too, is effortlessly batted aside. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

EBONEZER

Friday, January 28, 2005 3:16 AM

I vote for Cozen! He has my vote! I don't know why! But he does! Who do the others voters vote for?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Friday, January 28, 2005 3:18 AM

Ebo! Of chief importance is the “minioning” portion of the contest, otherwise known as “pampering”. We must not leave it out!

* The Real Me approaches the judges. From the shifting folds of his attire, he pulls three specially programmed butterfly thrusters. He flicks them, one by one, at Ebonezer, Mal-licious, and CageyBee. Each butterfly orbits the head of its assigned judge once, then stops and starts humming. The three judges start floating in the air. They are not flat on their back, but reclined in such a way that they could conveniently sip the beverage of their choice. Next, the butterflies induce a slow, soothing, rocking motion. *

It so happens that I can set them for “full body massage”, if you like.

* The Real Me departs, but quickly returns with some pitchers. He gives each of the judges a drink appropriate to their age limitations. But mixed into each pitcher is the tiniest amount of ice cream from the Purple Dimension, the effect of which is to make the drink taste like the favorite flavor of the drinker. *

* Next, The Real Me reaches into his shifting attire to pull out a fresh, authentic Florida palm frond. He waves this at Ebonezer. A second hand pulls out a second palm frond and waves it at Mal-licious. Then, a THIRD HAND pulls out a THIRD palm frond and waves it at CageyBee. The Real Me continues until the judges all fall asleep or ask him to stop. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

MALICIOUS

Friday, January 28, 2005 3:23 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Some of the men can sit as judges! That would be unusual (as well as fair)!

NO.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

EBONEZER

Friday, January 28, 2005 3:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

* Next, The Real Me reaches into his shifting attire to pull out a fresh, authentic Florida palm frond. He waves this at Ebonezer. A second hand pulls out a second palm frond and waves it at Mal-licious. Then, a THIRD HAND pulls out a THIRD palm frond and waves it at CageyBee. The Real Me continues until the judges all fall asleep or ask him to stop. *

*drools*

Must...stay...awake...

...fall...asleep...bad...no stop...

light...console...gease...

...can't...sentence...properly...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

CAGEYBEE

Friday, January 28, 2005 3:53 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
It so happens that I can set them for “full body massage”, if you like.

*KGB sways gently in the breeze provided by the third-handed palm frond*

I was thinking, maybe we should have one of these pagents every week. A girl could get quick used to this.

*as she speaks, KGB becomes so relaxed she accidentally drops the Mr. Sereni-TREE sash. Free-for-all ensues*

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

COZEN

Friday, January 28, 2005 4:04 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
I vote for Cozen! He has my vote! I don't know why! But he does!

Yes!!! 4 out of 5 times, bribery and hypnosis will trump talent.

Ebo,providing I can pay her back wages, you may have my CRS. She's a bit cynical, but very efficient.

*thwop thwop THWOP THWOP THWOP!*

Uh-oh. *Sprints over to bar in an effort to save Montanagirl, who has been so kind to transmogrify cozen into transvestite clown. Sure 'nuff, package containing B. Boop shoes arcs straight at her fresh pepsi... but wait! The package is swatted aside by a magic headscarf ribbon! It's a line drive... hooking... hooking.... Ebo, in full relaxation mode enjoying a full body butterfly massage, is THWACKed in the head by the shoes! Butterflies scatter away, Ebo thumps to floor, unconscious yet again.*

*cozen glares at TRM* "Please tell me that wasn't an evil setup." *Fails to contain laughter.* "Gotta say, though: hi-larious!"

Polite, groveling reminder to esteemed judgestressi: those lovely butterflies are breeding thrusters.

____
Practioner of safe full body massages.

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