The Treehouse Gala Pageant That Loads Faster!

POSTED BY: Malicious
UPDATED: Thursday, February 3, 2005 20:33
VIEWED: 15437
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MALICIOUS

Thursday, January 27, 2005 10:51 PM

Okay! I got tired of waiting for that other one, so.....start posting here now.

And don't forget, I'll be judging you!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, January 27, 2005 10:58 PM

Thanks to our Most High Malicious for continuing the highly anticipated pageant. Let's recap shall we?

Mal, Ebo, and KGB are being plied with brides of all kinds.

TRM, Comsmic, Simon, and teh newcomer Cozen are in a hot competition for the Manly Mistress award.

Several otheres have joined in the celebration and festivites such as: PR, Mai, and MontanaGirl.

Zoid, Rat, and Arimana are quietly keeping to the sidelines.

Let's now return to the pageant...

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Thursday, January 27, 2005 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Mal, Ebo, and KGB are being plied with brides of all kinds.

WHY? Why do I have to be plied with brides? What did I ever do to you? I am just picturing being smothered by white satin, lace and pearls.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

SIMONWHO

Thursday, January 27, 2005 11:40 PM

Oh, when does the lesbian wedding section start?

Right, I think it's time we made our big speeches to try to take the crown.

*gives a dainty cough*

Hello, I'm SimonWho. It has always been my ambition to be Misster Treehouse ever since the idea was first mooted. I believe thatI can bring several important qualities to the role, namely that it takes nothing away from my masculinity to be wearing this dress, these shoes nor this fabulous lipliner/eyeshadow combination.

I come from Britain, a country which has been ruled over by a queen for all of my life. I think I could do the same for the treehouse too.

So in conclusion, I believe that if you ask yourselves in these exciting new times of big budget movies and big damn heroes walking amongst us, who would be the best person to represent the forum in terms of spokesperson for the transvestite element, you will conclude it can only be SimonWho.

Thank you, bless you all.

*mwah mwah*

*walks offstage to the Muppet Show theme tune*

MAI

Friday, January 28, 2005 12:38 AM

"Uhhh, Mai, dear, I THINK you may have just gotten married!"

Nooooooooooooo! Oh wait, I have yet to take of the highly potent wine in a bowl so I think I am safe... for now. Phew, that was a close call. (Of course, depending on who is offering the wine I might be more than willing to accept)

As for the pageant, thank goodness for the new thread.

Attention judges!!!! Are there points for most creative gown? What are the other criteria your judging on?

COZEN

Friday, January 28, 2005 12:54 AM

*cozen groggygropes for chirpy cellphone*

Gmorph?

Convenient remote secretary, three paychecks due, says "I ordered you an authentic pair of red Betty Boop cfms, men's size 10. Oh: and the treehouse has changed threads. Duck! Pay me, or I'll sue." Click!

*Is nearly beheaded by blurry object mummified in nice satiny material. Passes out. Wakes up in a sea of white satin*

This ain't bad....

*A certain obligation creeps into brain made of soggy Capn Crunch. With difficulty makes way through many a blushin' bride. Mumbles a hello to nice lady who really stands out, as she's naturally dressed in leaves. Presses on, arrives at bar.*

*Nods to the guy surrounded by an astonishing amount of rootbeer.* "Uh, 'scuse me, Montanagirl, is it? Listen, um, I, well, ah, you know, I'm sorry about the unfortunate trajectory taken by the plummetting booze. Next time you hear a chopper, well..."

*MG nods a nod that cozen takes as an indication of patient understanding. Or a signal to a nearby assassin (rootbeer assasin?!) but why worry? cozen attempts to hide warbly note of panic as he orders a margarita from the bar, for the lady, of course. Is denied when creditcard fails to clear. Oh well.*

"Ya any good with make-up? You see, I'm up against a guy with access to dimensional portal technology, and another guy who's got the support of the British monarchy, and yet another guy who may have the complete support of all of this site's fans. I could use the help...."

*cozen applies full force of adopt-a-puppy visage, with subtle very manly undertones.*

_____
He gets dimensional portals. I get a helicopter. Does that seem fair to you?

CAGEYBEE

Friday, January 28, 2005 1:22 AM

*in the spirit of change, KGB runs to the kitchen. Sashying out, she tears away her orange ruffled tux to reveal....a slinky gown made out of aluminum foil*

Right, so its a little hard to move in this thing without it *gown rips up leg*...ripping. Damn...So, uh, I'm just going to sit here by the door with this.

*pulls Miss 'Verse sash out of foil-fashioned corset, only Miss 'Verse has been crossed out and it now reads Mr. Sereni-TREE*

I rememebered it just in time to get it out of an almost archived thread. I walked both ways in the snow to get it! Barefoot!

*slids down against the wall, finds a bottle of root beer knocked her way by a black-and-blue blur*

Hey, cool, thanks TRM.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

MONTANAGIRL

Friday, January 28, 2005 1:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by cozen:
He gets dimensional portals. I get a helicopter. Does that seem fair to you?

Well, at least now I know that when I hear a helicopter I should hide under something. So it was a learning experience. I can't help you out with the makeup though, sorry. I don't wear it myself 'cause I'm lazy, and if I were in charge of applying it you'd probably end up looking like a clown. Although, if that's the look you're going for I'll be happy to help you out.

*Although she realizes that she has no input into this competition, montanagirl is leaning towards endorsing cozen just because of the sheer amount of effort he has expended. But then again, SimonWho used The Muppet Show music which garners high marks. Singing quietly to self, "Why do we always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture, to have to watch the show."*

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

THEREALME

Friday, January 28, 2005 2:14 AM

* The Real Me lands in this thread, and looks about for Aramina, whom he fears might be lost. When he does not locate Aramina, he quickly reads the posts above his. Hmmmm… SimonWho REALLY seems to be getting into this. No matter! The Real Me has yet to demonstrate his minioning abilities. But there is one thing…*

ThatWeirdGirl, I must protest your summary!

I, The Real Me, have offered no bribes (nor BRIDES) to any of the judges (after all, a bride I probably would have KEPT!). I am determined to win this contest my virtue of my superior… uh… virtue…

Helped along, of course, by my personal powers, my access to superior technology, and my expansive storehouse of magical artifacts!

Hey! Where is Badger’s Hat? What happened to him? He was the entry in the gala contest who had Mal-licious’ vote locked up, since she is part of his harem. But now, without Badger’s Hat OR Zoid to compete with me…

* The Real Me smiles to himself. *

I might have a chance after all!

There is also the question of Mai’s entry into the contest. I believe that her leaf-dress is so fantastic that she MUST be allowed to compete, either in this contest or another. CageyBee's aluminum foil dress is pretty great, too.

Do all these brides get to enter the contest, too? ThatWeirdGirl! Exactly how many of them did you summon?

Oh, yes! I have compiled a new crew list for the Sereni-TREE:

Aramina
Badger’s Hat
CageyBee
CosmicFugitive
Cozen
Ebonezer
Mai
Mal-licious
MontanaGirl
PsychicRiver
Rat
SimonWho
ThatWeirdGirl
TheRealMe
Zoid

Note that this does not include artificially-created-servants-in-residence, like the (currently disabled) robot Sparky, the Ebo Golem, or the Pillow KGB, nor does it include prisoners like the Female Reaver. Nor does it count the many brides with which Mal-licious was recently deluged.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

THEREALME

Friday, January 28, 2005 2:21 AM

Now where was I before the last thread broke? Oh, yes!

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl in the PREVIOUS Clubhouse/Treehouse thread:
That was very impressive TRM! Although I think you might've accidently smacked me with one of your fans in the course of bouncing off the bar during the grand finale. First cozen drops a box of liquor on me and now I'm assaulted by one of TRM's fans. My barstool doesn't seem to be the safest place in the treehouse.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

MontanaGirl, you must be mistaken! I assure you that I was in complete control of my entire…

* Chagrined, The Real Me examines the one-and-a-half elegant Japanese fans that he still possesses. Then he looks over at the fan-shaped bruise that is starting to form on MontanaGirl. *

Uh… What I MEANT to say is…

* The Real Me tosses the fans over one shoulder, hops up from his lawn chair, and moves over to MontanaGirl by the bar. He bows deeply. The moving, shifting attire he wears follows him a moment later. *

MontanaGirl, please allow me to extend my humblest apologies! Here, perhaps I can make it up to you, or at the very least, prevent such an occurrence from happening in the future.

* With some effort, The Real Me peels off a strip of black cloth from around his head. The free end wiggles wildly while the other end seems to adhere strongly to The Real Me’s right cheek. With some effort and a tiny yelp, he finally pulls it loose. The strip of cloth seems to go crazy, jumping frantically in every direction as if trying to escape. Finally, The Real Me manages to restrain it with both his hands. *

Now hold still, MontanaGirl, and be calm. It can sense fear.

* The Real Me mutters some words in a strange language and touches the center of the strip of cloth to MontanaGirl’s forehead. It sticks there, while both ends wrap around the back of her head and then stick out on either side, like odd, floating, ribbony antennae. From the nearby bar, The Real Me picks up a shot glass and starts to walk away. *

Now for a demonstration!

* With no warning, and from a few steps away, The Real Me turns and pitches the shot glass directly at the spot between MontanaGirl’s eyes. One end of her black ribbon reacts instantly, slapping the missile to one side. *

There! You should be adequately protected, now. Think of it as a “Headband of Protection”. Just remember to take it off from time to time, or else it might drain away your life energy.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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