In the garden, and RAIN!!!!

POSTED BY: SIGNYM
UPDATED: Thursday, December 25, 2025 04:27
VIEWED: 1005090
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BRENDA

Saturday, August 24, 2019 9:14 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.

I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.

Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.

My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help.

Good for you that you're doing it now.

Save the love letters. Throw away old bank statements.
Quote:

Do Right, Be Right. :)

Gotta be done now.

Unfortunately no love letters between my folks. Just my dad's birth certificate and my grandparents(my dad's parents} marriage license. Another small document showing how many horses my granddad was taking across the line to sell one time. Old but from my family's history point of view valuable.

Well, sorry about the lack of love letters, I'm sure you would have loved to read them. But you've got the idea. :)

The love letters/bank statements was from a song that came out in the late 90's that for some reason really stuck with me. Now that I turned 40 today, it means even more than it did back when I was 20.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

I would have loved to read something like that and I know that is something that my mom would have kept if my dad was inclined to write. When she went back east to work before they got married I know they talked on the phone a bit. Long distance phone calls were cheaper back then.

I know Jack.

I don't know that song. Didn't really hear any of the music from the 90s really. But the song does have a point.

BRENDA

Saturday, August 24, 2019 9:15 PM

Work today. Up and out.

SIGNYM

Saturday, August 24, 2019 10:13 PM

Quote:

Not to be mercenary about it, but how fast are the relative timetables going, in your opinion? The alcohol impairment of your friend v the time to the completion of his work? Do you think he's stable or quickly escalating? - KIKI

I can't speak to the escalation. We haven't worked all that many days together, actually, since we just started in early august and missed last weekend due to the rain all weekend. He's only able to work around his full time job.
He's quick, and he's good at it. It helps that despite the drinking he seems to be keeping himself in relatively good shape compared to the fat sack of malnourished shit I withered into when I was at my worst.
But he's making dumb mistakes. He cut two fingers by pinching them in this terribly heavy extendable ladder he's got that I absolutely hate using since it's ridiculously heavy compared to both of mine. He's got some paint touch up work from late in the day for stuff that spilled that I would consider beyond what is reasonable. He was working on scaffolding right under an American flag and when he left to do something the flag blew at his paint bucket and it was ruined.
We're making good progress, but I'm seeing mistakes that I would consider inexcusable if we were on a legitimate job site and I was the foreman.

I'm just wondering when and if I should say anything about it. It's really not my place, especially since I shut out all my friends back in the day since I was literally killing myself with the stuff. I don't know his fiancee well enough to talk to her about it, and even if I did I can't imagine that I'd ever do that to him. I really feel helpless about it right now. Maybe like you said I should just keep tabs on him after both of our main work is done and his life becomes a bit less stressful. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to even deal with the level of stress his overall situation has become.- SIX

Try to keep him from killing himself on the jobsite or the road, and stay mum until your porch is finished. THEN see how he behaves presuming the pressure is off. THEN you can say something.

Just OOC what kind of stress is he under? I gather that he has a full-time job and rental property (properties?) that need serious work to be brought up to code, plus a fiancee and marriage on the horizon. Does he have an ex? Child support? Does his fiancee have children from a previous relationship? Is he in debt? Is he in pain? Does he have a chronic medical condition? Any other sources of stress? In other words, is he living in a pressure-cooker right now?

I don't know what the most effective thing to say might be, tho. You don't want to drive him away, and it's unlikely that just having one talk or making a couple of comments will sink in. Maybe the most important thing to do right now is talk to him about HIS LIFE? Find solutions for the stressors that he's under?

I dunno. Maybe "talking things out" is a girl thing, but that's what I would do. It might open the door for further conversation about his drinking.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

BRENDA

Sunday, August 25, 2019 4:48 AM

I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.

1KIKI

Sunday, August 25, 2019 6:05 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
It doesn't sound silly to me in the least bit.

Well, it's time I toddled off.

Goodnight!

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:

Good because I did think that I was a little ridiculous.

Have a good day.

I know how it is when there's something you need to do. It might not be the most pressing thing to do, or the most important, but still ... you need to do it. And something's keeping you from it. So it's on you mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... it's like a little itch you can't scratch. And then - oh blessed day! - you can finally get to it. I think there's a certain relief and satisfaction. That's what I think.

SIGNYM

Sunday, August 25, 2019 7:19 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.

Happens all the time at home. I've gotten to the point that I don't ask hubby to repeat himself ("I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't hear you. what did you say?") I simply don't respond. HE's the one who started talking, presumably he wants to be heard. Instead of me trotting after him, he has to head back in my direction if he wants me to respond.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

BRENDA

Sunday, August 25, 2019 10:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
It doesn't sound silly to me in the least bit.

Well, it's time I toddled off.

Goodnight!
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:

Good because I did think that I was a little ridiculous.

Have a good day.
I know how it is when there's something you need to do. It might not be the most pressing thing to do, or the most important, but still ... you need to do it. And something's keeping you from it. So it's on you mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... it's like a little itch you can't scratch. And then - oh blessed day! - you can finally get to it. I think there's a certain relief and satisfaction. That's what I think.

That was it exactly! There was a relief and satisfaction when that happened.

Soooooo nice to have somewhere to toss keys, change and put my jacket on a chair because there is no one here but me.

BRENDA

Sunday, August 25, 2019 10:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.
Happens all the time at home. I've gotten to the point that I don't ask hubby to repeat himself ("I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't hear you. what did you say?") I simply don't respond. HE's the one who started talking, presumably he wants to be heard. Instead of me trotting after him, he has to head back in my direction if he wants me to respond.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

I see your point Sig. But when it is a work question and I am depending on that answer about something that she wants made and if it isn't done to her specifications.... Well, you get the picture.

SIGNYM

Sunday, August 25, 2019 2:12 PM

Quote:

I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.= BRENDA

Happens all the time at home. I've gotten to the point that I don't ask hubby to repeat himself ("I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't hear you. what did you say?") I simply don't respond. HE's the one who started talking, presumably he wants to be heard. Instead of me trotting after him, he has to head back in my direction if he wants me to respond.- SIGNY

I see your point Sig. But when it is a work question and I am depending on that answer about something that she wants made and if it isn't done to her specifications.... Well, you get the picture.

Yes I do. What I do at home isn't possible for omeone at work. It's a rude, power-play kind of behavior on your boss' part. I'm trying to think of a clever way to make that stop without getting you in trouble, but so far I haven't thought of one ....

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

6IXSTRINGJACK

Sunday, August 25, 2019 3:19 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Quote:

Not to be mercenary about it, but how fast are the relative timetables going, in your opinion? The alcohol impairment of your friend v the time to the completion of his work? Do you think he's stable or quickly escalating? - KIKI

I can't speak to the escalation. We haven't worked all that many days together, actually, since we just started in early august and missed last weekend due to the rain all weekend. He's only able to work around his full time job.
He's quick, and he's good at it. It helps that despite the drinking he seems to be keeping himself in relatively good shape compared to the fat sack of malnourished shit I withered into when I was at my worst.
But he's making dumb mistakes. He cut two fingers by pinching them in this terribly heavy extendable ladder he's got that I absolutely hate using since it's ridiculously heavy compared to both of mine. He's got some paint touch up work from late in the day for stuff that spilled that I would consider beyond what is reasonable. He was working on scaffolding right under an American flag and when he left to do something the flag blew at his paint bucket and it was ruined.
We're making good progress, but I'm seeing mistakes that I would consider inexcusable if we were on a legitimate job site and I was the foreman.

I'm just wondering when and if I should say anything about it. It's really not my place, especially since I shut out all my friends back in the day since I was literally killing myself with the stuff. I don't know his fiancee well enough to talk to her about it, and even if I did I can't imagine that I'd ever do that to him. I really feel helpless about it right now. Maybe like you said I should just keep tabs on him after both of our main work is done and his life becomes a bit less stressful. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to even deal with the level of stress his overall situation has become.- SIX

Try to keep him from killing himself on the jobsite or the road, and stay mum until your porch is finished. THEN see how he behaves presuming the pressure is off. THEN you can say something.

Just OOC what kind of stress is he under? I gather that he has a full-time job and rental property (properties?) that need serious work to be brought up to code, plus a fiancee and marriage on the horizon. Does he have an ex? Child support? Does his fiancee have children from a previous relationship? Is he in debt? Is he in pain? Does he have a chronic medical condition? Any other sources of stress? In other words, is he living in a pressure-cooker right now?

I don't know what the most effective thing to say might be, tho. You don't want to drive him away, and it's unlikely that just having one talk or making a couple of comments will sink in. Maybe the most important thing to do right now is talk to him about HIS LIFE? Find solutions for the stressors that he's under?

I dunno. Maybe "talking things out" is a girl thing, but that's what I would do. It might open the door for further conversation about his drinking.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

That's good advice. I think it's all I can really do at this point until we get our collective situations more under control.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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