In the garden, and RAIN!!!!
POSTED BY: SIGNYM
UPDATED: Thursday, December 25, 2025 04:27
VIEWED: 1005090
PAGE 243 of 1154
Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
SIX, I just hope he keeps his promise to you about fixing up your porch. You might want to ask him an occasional question about "how would he do such and such" to your porch, technique-oriented questions for your edification, and to keep that project front and center in his brain.
Yanno, hubby used to work construction when he was young. He was a mason's helper and, being big and strong they gave him the heaviest jobs, like carrying a 300-lb flue up a ladder. One time they had just put a cellar wall up but because of rain it was threatening to collapse, so he went down into the hole and tossed 1100 cement blocks up to save them in case everything caved in. He still has nightmares about being buried alive. Anyway, the point was that this particular contruction crew ran on beer. Each person probably drank a couple of six-packs OR MORE per day. (If anyone were to break open the cement blocks from their projects, quite a number of them would have empty beer bottles in them!) It was a source of energy and a way of staying hydrated, and for all the beer that hubby drank he never became an alcholic and neither did anyone else of the crew, that I know of. Maybe this is a case of that, I don't know.
It's possible his drinking is situational, and when his worries clear up his drinking will too. It's possible that he drinks only when working heavily. Or maybe he fels unwell or is on pain. Or maybe has has a problem of much longer standing, but you won't know until the construction is ended INCLUDING YOUR PORCH and you get to see him when the pressure is off. IMHO most people drink as a form of self-medication (for anxiety, self-doubt, pain or other feelings of unwellness etc). Then at some point the drink BECOMES the problem that they self-medicate for, but I don't know where your frined is at. I would probably give him a bottle of Super B Complex (either Nature Made or Nature's Choice) vitamins since heavy drinkers need a lot more B1 to process the alcohol, plus the B12 should help with his memory.
If after the construction merry-go-round stops he is STILL drinking, then I don't know what your best option is. You definitely don't want to be an enabler ... protecting him from the consequences of his drinking ... but needs some thought because you can only influence him if you manage to stay in contact.
-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake
You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY
Yeah. I'm pretty concerned about him. I'm not sure if he finished the two 6 packs of Icehouse he bought before we started today or if he forgot to bring the rest with him, but I was driving us home again tonight. At least he had the good sense to pull over shortly after we left and have me drive. But right on the main corner before we got to his house he had me pull into the gas station. I thought he was getting gas, but he was getting more beer. :(
He explains it away like you just did about your husband. Maybe that's what it is for him, but I'm getting a real feeling of "you can't bullshit a bullshitter" here.
To be fair, I was never capable of working on anything serious when I was either drunk or high. He's always been able do do either or both. But that fucking Icehouse is the Devil's Brew that I was drinking by the truckload when I nearly destroyed my life. These aren't Lite beers. They're the American version of Mudders Milk.
I'm hoping it's just the stress. He does seem a lot quicker to anger than I remember him being. Road rage, and the like. After the middle of the day he must have enough in him to not be that way anymore, but he's certainly not a morning person. I probably told him early on before we got rolling that everything was going to be all right at least half a dozen times, which usually g
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Hey Six
About your friend ... fwiw I've been in some serious pain for almost 2 decades. I used to drink a half-bottle of wine BEFORE I did yard work; not because it helped with the pain, but to get me to the point where I didn't care about how much it was going to hurt, so I could just start. (Eventually I gave up trying to do yard work.) And then I looked after a child with chronic partial seizures and frequent nasty ones. If it was a one-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, it was a normal response to the stressful behaviors. If it was a two-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, a warning flag went up. If it was a three-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, FOR SURE the child was going to have a nasty seizure within the next 24 hours. So I can see how people drink due to pain or stress, even over a long time.
But I have a natural 'off' switch with alcohol - if I have say a half-bottle of wine (or equivalent) 2 or 3 days in a row, my stomach just kills me, and it takes a week or more to feel better. So I never get to the point of chronically drinking. IDK about your friend.
I have a relative who started drinking because of chronic pain, and they ended up a serious alcoholic.
Not to be mercenary about it, but how fast are the relative timetables going, in your opinion? The alcohol impairment of your friend v the time to the completion of his work? Do you think he's stable or quickly escalating?
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:I second that! I think the old place must have weighed on you heavily. But now things are way better!
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
It's a good thing BRENDA that your things finally came out of storage and you get to sort thru them. I'm still pleased beyond what I can express that you're out of that dark, dank, substandard hole that you were in, and in a place that has room, light, and functional utilities! Happy sorting!
Quote:Oh that sounds really enjoyable!
Originally posted by Brenda:
Oddly enough I do enjoy the sorting and even the shredding. I was absolutely giddy when I got a kitchen table and chairs.
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Just in general about paperwork ...
I've written extremely complicated technical procedures that involved multiple pieces of software, specifications (like NIST), multiple procedures (like NATTS/ PAMS/ ASTM), skills, requirements, and in-house instructions (for home-built policies and procedures like legal sample storage and document retention or 'how to calibrate model zzz freezer).
Because of that, imo, given a knowledgeable person or set of people to do the documenting, I'm a firm believer that it can all be reduced to independently-accessible (and editable), but procedurally-linked, flowchart steps.
If it can't, then, imo, there's something wrong with the foundation the paperwork is built on.
I just can't excuse non-functionality because ... ... 'it's complicated'. If it's not straightened out, it's because making it functional wasn't a priority.
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.
I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.
Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.
My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help.
Good for you that you're doing it now.
Save the love letters. Throw away old bank statements.Quote:
Do Right, Be Right. :)
Gotta be done now.
Unfortunately no love letters between my folks.
Just my dad's birth certificate and my grandparents(my dad's parents} marriage license. Another small document showing how many horses my granddad was taking across the line to sell one time. Old but from my family's history point of view valuable.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:Quote:I second that! I think the old place must have weighed on you heavily. But now things are way better!
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
It's a good thing BRENDA that your things finally came out of storage and you get to sort thru them. I'm still pleased beyond what I can express that you're out of that dark, dank, substandard hole that you were in, and in a place that has room, light, and functional utilities! Happy sorting!
It did weigh me down terribly Kiki. Definitely added to my depression. They are so much better.
Quote:Oh that sounds really enjoyable!
Originally posted by Brenda:
Oddly enough I do enjoy the sorting and even the shredding. I was absolutely giddy when I got a kitchen table and chairs.
I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:It doesn't sound silly to me in the least bit.
Originally posted by Brenda:
I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.
Well, it's time I toddled off.
Goodnight!
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
Hey Six
About your friend ... fwiw I've been in some serious pain for almost 2 decades. I used to drink a half-bottle of wine BEFORE I did yard work; not because it helped with the pain, but to get me to the point where I didn't care about how much it was going to hurt, so I could just start. (Eventually I gave up trying to do yard work.) And then I looked after a child with chronic partial seizures and frequent nasty ones. If it was a one-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, it was a normal response to the stressful behaviors. If it was a two-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, a warning flag went up. If it was a three-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, FOR SURE the child was going to have a nasty seizure within the next 24 hours. So I can see how people drink due to pain or stress, even over a long time.
I appreciate the empathy. Not being a wine drinker myself though, I'm going to venture to guess that though a half bottle of wine is nothing to sneeze at, especially if you're smaller than we are, we're not talking about the levels of self destructive behavior I definitely went through and those that I'm worried I'm witnessing my friend exhibit right now. I could be wrong though. I hope you didn't damage yourself or relationships with it, and that you're not still doing it today if you're worried about that.
Quote:
But I have a natural 'off' switch with alcohol - if I have say a half-bottle of wine (or equivalent) 2 or 3 days in a row, my stomach just kills me, and it takes a week or more to feel better. So I never get to the point of chronically drinking. IDK about your friend.
Oh, right. Forgive me. I read this late last night but since I had to get up to meet him again today I was tired and needed to get to bed instead of replying then. I'm glad that it never became a problem for you, and especially that you didn't "power through" the nausia.
I don't see what happens when I'm not there. He doesn't seem to be getting sick over it and looks healthy for his age. But when I was at my worst and going through two day drinking binges I might have thrown up 2 or 3 times and kept going.
Quote:
I have a relative who started drinking because of chronic pain, and they ended up a serious alcoholic.
Sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how that must have been having only been on the other side of it before. I'm still not jumping the gun here, but my level of concern is in the orange right now.
Quote:
Not to be mercenary about it, but how fast are the relative timetables going, in your opinion? The alcohol impairment of your friend v the time to the completion of his work? Do you think he's stable or quickly escalating?
I can't speak to the escalation. We haven't worked all that many days together, actually, since we just started in early august and missed last weekend due to the rain all weekend. He's only able to work around his full time job.
He's quick, and he's good at it. It helps that despite the drinking he seems to be keeping himself in relatively good shape compared to the fat sack of malnourished shit I withered into when I was at my worst.
But he's making dumb mistakes. He cut two fingers by pinching them in this terribly heavy extendable ladder he's got that I absolutely hate using since it's ridiculously heavy compared to both of mine. He's got some paint touch up work from late in the day for stuff that spilled that I would consider beyond what is reasonable. He was working on scaffolding right under an American flag and when he left to do something the flag blew at his paint bucket and it was ruined.
We're making good progress, but I'm seeing mistakes that I would consider inexcusable if we were on a legitimate job site and I was the foreman.
I'm just wondering when and if I should say anything about it. It's really not my place, espe
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.
I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.
Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.
My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help.
Good for you that you're doing it now.
Save the love letters. Throw away old bank statements.Quote:
Do Right, Be Right. :)
Gotta be done now.
Unfortunately no love letters between my folks.
Well, sorry about the lack of love letters, I'm sure you would have loved to read them. But you've got the idea. :)
The love letters/bank statements was from a song that came out in the late 90's that for some reason really stuck with me. Now that I turned 40 today, it means even more than it did back when I was 20.
Do Right, Be Right. :)
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:It doesn't sound silly to me in the least bit.
Originally posted by 1KIKI:Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.
Well, it's time I toddled off.
Goodnight!
Good because I did think that I was a little ridiculous.
Have a good day.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME