It's pretty much official...
POSTED BY: BadgersHat
UPDATED: Friday, December 3, 2004 01:36
VIEWED: 5800
PAGE 2 of 3
All I have to say is that I feel for ya. About a week ago today my longtime girlfriend and I ended our break by breaking up. I say the best thing is to be open and honest about things, it may not always help but no one thing does.
In the end, all any of us can do is just keep flying.
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"If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater." -Book
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Jefé The Hat:
Sad news, bad news, brother. I've already spoke my piece on the matter. My advice hasn't changed, so I won't reiterate it here, except to say that Love doesn't take a break. You thought you had what you were looking for, a soulmate for life. Turns out you were wrong; but it's better to find out sooner rather than later.
We're all here for you, offering all the virtual sympathy and encouragement we can. As a brother, I virtually encourage you to get your ass out of the house and into circulation, and find some real feminine companionship. Since you're in a vulnerable state, you must not be on a quest to find your true love, right now. You just need to be with friendly, 'sporting' girls at this time. Avoid forging emotional bonds until you're sure you're ready to move on. Some 'experts' say you should wait a year; this expert says you should wait as long as it takes, and you'll know when that is, if you take stock of your feelings.
In the meantime, just have some fun, and keep things at bay emotionally. Make sure the girls you date know that y'all are just enjoying one another's company, and sharing dinner and entertainments with friendly souls inhabiting hetero bodies.
You live in NYC, right? To paraphrase Bill Murray from "Ghostbusters", there should be 3 million miserably eligible females in the tri-state area alone, for you to choose from. Since your goal should not be finding The One, the bigger the haystack, the more hay available. Finding the needle, The One, may be a little tougher; but let's cross that bridge when we get to it, hmmm?
Speaking of 'sporting' (it's up there, somewhere in my ramblings), why aren't you making the NBA minimum somewhere? 7-footers don't exactly grow on trees, you know. I don't care if you can play a lick, you should be clogging up the paint for 3 - 6 minutes a night for the Knicks, Nets, Sixers or Wizards while their star center takes a breather, especially since those teams are all notably short in the frontcourt. As far as playing style is concerned, ask yourself, "What would Bill Laimbeer have done, if he were 7 feet tall?" See if you can't manage to foul out -- all hard ones if possible -- every night in your 3-to-6 minutes. Of course, you'll run up against Miami and the Shaq Diesel and that will be downright embarrassing. Still, for $385,277.00 per annum (for players with 0 years experience, per http://members.cox.net/lmcoon/salarycap.htm#9 ), we can all withstand a little embarassment, eh?
And of course, in addition to your remuneration, you'll meet a higher class of 'sporting' women, all of whom will be desperate to be in your harem in the real world. Umm, just stay in your hotel room and don't answer the door when y'all play at the Nuggets, okay?
I said it before, you're a good looking kid; Bill Walton was a notorious poon hound in his early days, and he's always been uglier than sin. So unless you've got some previously unmentioned physical infirmity -- bad heart, wooden leg, blind in one eye and can't see out of the other -- my advice is to 'get thee to a sports agent's office, pronto'.
All you have to be is 7-feet tall (respiration, heartbeat and cerebral activity desirable, but not strictly required). They'll 'coach you up' on the rest. If you manage to fake it past your rookie year and get resigned to a league-minimum contract for your second year, you'll be making $120,000 more than the President of the United States makes in a year. Is this a great country, or what?
Representatively,
zoid
Bartender (e.g., self-styled philosopher and advisor), "The Bottom of the Tree" public house
P.S.
It may be helpful to lighten up some. I was dead serious about the NBA thing, but if it helped you laugh a little, I'll consider it a win in any case... Just remember, any advice is likely to be worth exactly what you paid for it...
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Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
I don't care if you can play a lick, you should be clogging up the paint for 3 - 6 minutes a night for the Knicks, Nets, Sixers or Wizards while their star center takes a breather,
uh. what "star" centers are you refering to? bruno sundov? jabari smith? or maybe peter john rambos. hahaha. just teasing.
in all seriousness, though. i do wholeheartedly agree with this statement:
Quote:
you should wait as long as it takes
everyone is different and do not let anyone tell you that you should "just get over it" or that you should "be over her already". they are wrong. you take the time you need, regardless of how long it is.
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est120:
I was referring to those currently playing the center position who could do some combination of shooting, rebounding, shot blocking, or generalized thuggery. The point I was making is that Der Hat could at least manage the thuggery while the 'star' was catching his breath. For this service, he would be paid 'king's ransom handsomely', and make the acquaintance of females whose chief avocation may be described as 'taking samples'...
Vocationally,
zoid
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Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
est120:
I was referring to those currently playing the center position who could do some combination of shooting, rebounding, shot blocking, or generalized thuggery. The point I was making is that Der Hat could at least manage the thuggery while the 'star' was catching his breath. For this service, he would be paid 'king's ransom handsomely', and make the acquaintance of females whose chief avocation may be described as 'taking samples'...
Vocationally,
zoid
i know. i was just teasing.
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* As one who has screwed up most of his own romantic relationships, The Real Me disqualifies himself to offer any further advice. *
Yeah, don't listen to this guy, Jefe. He waved MY green hand at Ebo! The nerve.
(Is that considered a hijack? It weren't meant to be! Really!)
Mal-licious
Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell
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Wouldn't it be nice to go through life without having to have our hearts broken at one point or another. Though I've had plenty of failed relationships, only one girl's broken my heart. But it was worth it for the short time we were together...even though the pain lasted quite a bit longer. In the wods of Kev'n Kinney, it's been broken hearts, and auto parts and everything in-betwee.
"Art is Ego..."—Greg Dulli
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Quote:
Originally posted by SigmaNunki:
In summery, get a clean break, do some soul searching, continue living. Let what will be, be. After all, your true dream girl could be right infront of your face right now. But, that's just my 2 cents.
I agree. I needed a break from my reality and refound a man that i had been friends with for five years. We've been together more than four now. He was there all along. Just waiting to be found. Time. It's gonna take time, lots of time. Good luck.
Mal and suzie have taught me a thing or two. Anytime you need a veil dance, just call, I can make it thru now without tripping, usually.
www.thatweirdgirl.com
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Sad news, The Hat's fine ass! That's the best news ever! Tall, dark and yummy is available! If the rest of the girls on the site are anything like I am, they heaved a dreamy sigh when they read that some silly girl didn't appreciate your cabinet reachin' self. Who's going to get stuff down for her now? Nobody, that's who. And if she calls and says, "Hey, Hat, I can't reach my turkey platter," you won't get the message because you'll be too busy chatting it up with all the ladies who appreciate a man who is the leader of This Landotopia.
"Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy."
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Not to make light of Hat's situation, but why can't I shake the image of Ross and Rachel from 'Friends' when I read about y'all calling for an official 'break'?
If life were ANYTHING like t.v., you'd fine a hot bar maid and officially consummate this 'break' 
Just MHO.
" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "
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