CAPTION TIGHTPANTS #2
POSTED BY: TenthCrewMember
UPDATED: Wednesday, August 31, 2005 18:42
VIEWED: 14230
PAGE 2 of 5
Book: The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Book: "...and THAT's the story of how I became more or less intact."
Simon (thinking): Note to self: Never ask about Book's past.
"Gott kann dich nicht vor mir beschuetzen, weil ich nicht boese bin."
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BOOK: ALLLLLLLrighty then! [pause] Do NOT!...go in there.
SIMON: Oh! Do Roseanne again!
_________
Sliders: Gate Haven - http://slidersweb.net/blinker
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Book: "I told you so! Yours IS bigger."
"Gott kann dich nicht vor mir beschuetzen, weil ich nicht boese bin."
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Book: "Oh... I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive..."
"Gott kann dich nicht vor mir beschuetzen, weil ich nicht boese bin."
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BOOK: "Excuse me doctor, do you have anything for constipation?"
Or, alternatively...
BOOK: "Excuse me doctor, do you have anything for diarrhoea?"
Toilet humour... Well sophisticated here. 
EDIT - Another idea...
BOOK: "What do you mean, I look like a fish?"
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"To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation." -Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, Aphorisms.
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"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact." -George Eliot, Impressions of Theophrastus Such.
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BOOK: "...and that's not an easy thing for a ninety year old shepherd to do you know..."
SIMON: (Thinking) *Shoot me now. PLEASE!*
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Book: Simon, you gotta see this!! Jayne's mom sent him another hat!
EDIT: I quickly realized it would be much funnier this way:
Simon: Shepherd Book, you gotta come quick! Jayne's mom sent him another hat!
Book: Lead the way!
Or maybe the first one was funnier... Take your pick. 
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BOOK: "So, Barney says, 'Aw, c'mon, Ange! Why can't I have more'n one bullet?' And Sheriff Taylor says, 'You keep that in your shirt pocket, now, Barney, or I'll take your gun away!' And then..."
SIMON (Thinking): You are so old!
Archaically,
zed
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Book: Okay, okay, here's my Bill Cosby impersonation: 'Mmmm, okay, so I want to tell you 'bout deez pudding pops.'
Simon (thinking): Bill who?
-Taylor
The Uncharted Outlaw!
"I brought you some supper, but if you'd prefer a lecture, I've a few very catchy ones prepped...sin and hellfire... one has lepers."
See my Firefly Store: http://www.cafepress.com/NorCalRiviera
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