“Aw, why can’t I come?” Jayne pouted as they walked toward the cargo bay.

Zoe glared at the back of Jayne’s head, visibly considering un-holstering her gun and smacking him over the head with it.

Simon glanced at his wife waiting for her to answer. When she didn’t, he decided to risk her wrath and do it instead. “Because the garments you would choose to clothe a baby in are not something I want my child to be wearing.”

Jayne frowned. “Hey, just ‘cause you’re used to all those dandified pretty fits don’t mean that a good old fashioned pair of camo nightshirts wouldn’t be the perfect thing for the little kid.”

Simon rolled his eyes but stopped short when Kaylee turned around and smiled at Jayne. “Maybe a pair of camo pants with a big bunny attached to the leg!”

Jayne laughed at Simon’s incredulous expression. “Damn, I wish I had a capture of that look.”

Kaylee smiled brightly at Simon but Jayne drew her attention back with a loud guffaw. “Why don’t ya just give the kid your old pair, they ain’t likely ta fit again after ya pop the kid out.”

Zoe met Simon’s astonished eyes around Jayne’s shoulder and immediately stepped away from the big man. Jayne would soon learn that facing an entire ship full of Reavers was more preferable to feeling the wrath of a pregnant woman after he’d insulted her.

Kaylee’s eyes welled with tears but she kept them in check as she reached out and slapped him – hard.

“Ow! What’d ya do that fer?” Jayne rubbed his arm, briefly wondering, and not for the first time, how pregnant women managed to get stronger the fatter they got.

Zoe shook her head. “Saw that comin’ a Core world away.”

“I ain’t fat!” Kaylee insisted as Mal and Inara sounded the corner and stopped short after hearing Kaylee’s pained admonition.

Mal sighed. “Ai ya, what’d the doc say now?”

Simon stared appalled that they thought he would even think something like that but it was Kaylee who answered. “Weren’t Simon this time. Jayne said I was fat!”

Mal raised an amused eyebrow and he fel