Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Dire Straits - Part 1 of 3

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Mal is injured, Serenity is on the run, and things go downhill from there. Zoe has to try and hold everyone together and find a way out.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2911    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Simon glanced again at the monitors, noting the worryingly low outputs and the erratic heartbeat. Things didn’t look good. The whole crew was worried, apart from Jayne of course, and with good reason. Mal was seriously injured and it was very possible he could die.

He hadn’t been able to find out all the details but Simon knew it had something to do with their deal at Highwater Falls, one of the few outer worlds that wasn’t a total step backwards into history. It wasn’t as modern as the Alliance worlds of course, but it was almost homely and the people had been friendly. What had been even more personally satisfying was how River has responded to the lush surroundings. The tumbling waterfalls that had given the settlement its name were a peaceful place and River had sat for hours just watching the water. She had been unnaturally still and for a time Simon had just sat with her, holding her hand in companionable silence, enjoying the peace the surroundings seemed to instil in her. When he has asked why she was so calm, River had responded cryptically as ever about the land being clean.

The deal had been simple. They had been told to pick up some goods and ferry them from a distant moon to the colony, where they would be transferred on elsewhere. The money had been very good for such a simple job and Mal had been suspicious, but interested nevertheless. Of course when the cargo had turned out to be slaves who were being sold on to a mining colony for indentured servitude, he had been less than cooperative. He had set the slaves free, kept some of the money for his trouble, and given the rest back. For a thief and rogue, Simon had noticed the Captain was unusually honest at times. It was a strange kind of honour he seemed intent on upholding, but for whose benefit Simon had no idea. Their temporary employer, a burly fellow named Barney Braws had been less than satisfied and had promptly shot Mal in the back as he had walked out of the bar. Now Barney lay dead with a smoking hole in his chest thanks to the ever-w

Comments
Sunday, 28 March 2004 13:57
Great job of throwing us into the thick of things. Its interesting to see a tense struggle situation told from Simon's perspective
Sunday, 28 March 2004 19:08
Oh wow, this is so gorram good! Hope the next part is up soon, And I'm wondering just who this McKenzie fellow is and what Inara will have to give him in return for helping Mal. Why can't anything ever go smooth? Shiny, Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
ANONYMOUS
Monday, 29 March 2004 19:47
Good Start! Right into the thick of it. I liked the flow of the story. You have pretty much got Jayne spot on! I await the parts with anticipation.
NKB
Monday, 29 March 2004 20:18
Wisecracks, tension, Chinese slang and the use of ‘gorram’, what more do you need in the first part of your fanfic? Oh yeah – the rollicking story too!

Great characterisation and really good flow.

I love the way the narrative sounds like it's Simon's internal voice - and reflects his bias against Jayne so completely!

Bring on the next bit :)
Thursday, 01 April 2004 17:12
Great start here, really looking forward to what happens next. :-)

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