Mal clanked down Serenities unnaturally quiet catwalks. It had been a long day. A really

long day, and all he really wanted to do now was sleepan try to figure it out later. Then he passed

the kitchen.

Simon was sitting, staring at a cup of coffee like he could divine the future from its

implacable, black depths. His normally groomed hair was unusually disheveled and his white shirt

marred with stiff, livid, reddish brown stains.

Mal stopped and slowly ducked inside. He knew the rest of the crew had been avoiding

Simon, and hell he didn’t exactly blame them. He didn’t really want to go in there either. He

wasn’t good at this type of thing.

“Doc?” he queried.

Simon flinched and looked up shock still painted across his face, “Captain?”

Mal took a step forward and sat down, “How’re you holdin’ up?”

He lowered his gaze back to the coffee and softly said, “I don’t know.”

Mal actually understood. No one really knew how to react. He didn’t know how to react.

Mal looked down a little uncomfortably and silence bloomed between them like an awkward

flower.

Then, “ What will I do?...I’ve been asking myself that over and over. I can’t....I can’t go

back. To much has changed.”

Quietly Mal responded, “Get on with your life. It’s what she would’ve wanted.”

For a second, Simon looked like he might cry or yell or something beside this unnerving

brooding.

But he just said. “I know,” He looked up for a minute and added, “I don’t have much of

one to get on with.”

Silence.

“ What’s left for me now?”

“ I guess that’s up to you” said Mal. Then more quietly, “I am sorry Simon.”

“I know,” he murmured.

Mal looked around uncomfortably for a minute then said, “Listen, whatever you do, I

could still use a good medic on this ship.”

Simon nodded mutely, and after a minute, Mal left.

* * * * * * * *

As much as his mind tried to shy away from the days events, he couldn’t. Instead he

replayed them over and over, trying to make sens