Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA
Finding Our Way - Conclusion
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Simon is given a solution to his captivity. Mal comforts River and Adrian Bai reveals a darker side. Angsty.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 4159 RATING: 9.0 (PG) SERIES: FIREFLY
Well, this is the end of this story. Thank you to everyone who continued reading.
I've never written something so long and I'm glad it was as well received as it was.
I'm very interested in hearing your opinions of the end. I wrote it with one intent in mind and my beta, after she recovered from her crying hysterics, thought I had intended something different.
I'm eager to know what you think happened at the end.
The Epilogue (if I decide to post it. I really think the end as I have written it is more poignant) will give you my original intent.
Thanks to Wanmei for the beta.
---------------------------
Simon sat in a small, colorless chamber, his arms and hands bound in front of him. He’d been questioned, but not as intensively as he might have anticipated. He was in a military brig, not in the, surprisingly, warmer confines of a Fed prison.
He’d been there for hours, lost with his thoughts, wondering, waiting – secretly hoping – that they would just kill him and be done with it. He should have simply injected himself with a fatal amount of potassium. He had plenty on hand in the infirmary. But he couldn’t – not until Serenity was safely away. If he was lucky, he would get the opportunity to end his own life before having to endure the torture he knew would come once the Fed’s came. He knew too much about Serenity and its crew and he knew there were methods that he would not be able to resist should they be used upon him.
His mind wandered to Serenity, to the family he had left behind. While not blood related, the crew of that beat up old ship had become like a family to him, and he would miss them terribly. He couldn’t have left River to the care of anyone else. He trusted them. And he knew they would protect her with their lives.
Kaylee was another matter entirely. She would be utterly broken by his lie. She loved him so deeply, and he her. But, he held some measure of hope in his overly romantic mind, that when the time came, she would open that bright, beautiful heart and find
Comments
WINTERHART
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 16:09
Ahhhh! No.... :'(
Damnit, now I have to go to work thinking about this =/
Also? Absolutely no epilogue unless by some incomprehensible miracle it's happy.
Damnit, now I have to go to work thinking about this =/
Also? Absolutely no epilogue unless by some incomprehensible miracle it's happy.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 16:15
*lesigh*
It's computer class. Now everyone is looking at me strangely.
I second the "No epilogue unless it's happy" comment, because dammit, I don't need to be sad anymore.
I'm envious of your writing skills (or perhaps I'm just envious of the fact you have ideas!)
Anyway...*sob*.
It's computer class. Now everyone is looking at me strangely.
I second the "No epilogue unless it's happy" comment, because dammit, I don't need to be sad anymore.
I'm envious of your writing skills (or perhaps I'm just envious of the fact you have ideas!)
Anyway...*sob*.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 16:18
All right, I'll jump...
I think he just suspended cerebral yadda yadda yadda - Ariel style - and his body will get shipped back to Serenity then wake up, much hugging and wild sex ensues. And Bai will kill himself. Because I want a happy ending, gorammit!
Or... Romeo and Juliet style: Kaylee will see him and swallow poison, then he'll wake up, see her dead, and put a dagger through his chest.
It better not be option B!
Good story! When's the epilogue? soon?
I think he just suspended cerebral yadda yadda yadda - Ariel style - and his body will get shipped back to Serenity then wake up, much hugging and wild sex ensues. And Bai will kill himself. Because I want a happy ending, gorammit!
Or... Romeo and Juliet style: Kaylee will see him and swallow poison, then he'll wake up, see her dead, and put a dagger through his chest.
It better not be option B!
Good story! When's the epilogue? soon?
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 16:22
Wow! I love the end because you can draw your own conclusions!:D Poor Simon, I think I have said that, I don't know how many times in this story! It was sad but there was a glimmer of hope, maybe. Thanks so much for sharing this story, it's wonderful!! I got a little choked up, but no, it's okay, I can handle it, I'm cool. Can't wait to read your next effort ( maybe you can go for the fluff, cause I am all angsted out now )! And maybe, just maybe, if you feel a little generous, you can put up the epilogue? Like I said before, you already wrote it, not gonna kill ya to post it!:D
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 16:41
Poor Simon. The guy just never gets a break.
I'd still like to see the epilogue, even if it is sad (sadder). It's be nice to see how everyone else is doing (not just Kaylee and River, either - Mal would acknowledge and appreciate such a sacrifice as well), even if Simon is actually gone.
I'd still like to see the epilogue, even if it is sad (sadder). It's be nice to see how everyone else is doing (not just Kaylee and River, either - Mal would acknowledge and appreciate such a sacrifice as well), even if Simon is actually gone.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 17:07
I think the "government issue boxes" are cryo chambers and the injections are the Ariel-style "kill-me-temporarily" drugs Mal4Prez is talking about. Simon will survive and be happily reunited with the family he loves. Please post the Epilogue so I can see if that's your ending to the story or just my wishful thinking! :)
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 17:12
Don't know what the injections held, but not likely anything lethal. After all, how many different types of injections would they need to give a guy to kill him?
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 17:13
Okay, I'll bite. Adrian put data into the storage compartment of a cryo chamber for Simon to use once he is released from said chamber. Simon knows how to prepare a person for cryo because, according to the novelization, he is the one who put River in her box after he got her out of the academy. How Adrian will get the chamber back to Serenity it a mystery.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 17:14
>Don't know what the injections held, but not likely anything lethal. After all, how many different types of injections would they need to give a guy to kill him?
Lethel injections are given in a series of specifically measured shots.
Lethel injections are given in a series of specifically measured shots.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 17:25
Oh... I like it. Good cliffhanger. Kinda season finale'ish. Would have worked really well if the series had gone on for a while. Perhaps you should make us wait a bit for the Epilogue, I need an "off season" to recover/prepare.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 17:58
Unbelievable!
Here's my theory - Simon is dead. I wish it weren't true, but something tells me their is not sympathetic or empathetic bone in Adrian's body, especially after killing his men, "hands of blue style."
Sorry kiddies, but I don't think the "epilogue" should be considered an alternate ending.
Although, the romantic in me does agree with Mal4Prez and Anon that there's a chance those drugs were the sleep-inducing variety and those containers were cryo units. How awesome would it be if Simon was returned to the ship a box like the one River arrived in? Kind of full circle, don't you think?
Leiasky, thank you for your unbelievable characterizations, imagination and commitment to the "Firefly" 'verse. Your love for these characters and what the show stood for is evident. This is why I'm glad to be a fan fic writer as well.
My take on the epilogue - we're all big people, we can choose whether or not we should read it. But of course, the author's discretion will rule.
Here's my theory - Simon is dead. I wish it weren't true, but something tells me their is not sympathetic or empathetic bone in Adrian's body, especially after killing his men, "hands of blue style."
Sorry kiddies, but I don't think the "epilogue" should be considered an alternate ending.
Although, the romantic in me does agree with Mal4Prez and Anon that there's a chance those drugs were the sleep-inducing variety and those containers were cryo units. How awesome would it be if Simon was returned to the ship a box like the one River arrived in? Kind of full circle, don't you think?
Leiasky, thank you for your unbelievable characterizations, imagination and commitment to the "Firefly" 'verse. Your love for these characters and what the show stood for is evident. This is why I'm glad to be a fan fic writer as well.
My take on the epilogue - we're all big people, we can choose whether or not we should read it. But of course, the author's discretion will rule.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 18:05
I'm thinking along the lines of temporary death a la Ariel. Also liking Clio's cryo-chamber theory.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 18:09
> but something tells me their is not sympathetic or empathetic bone in Adrian's body, especially after killing his men, "hands of blue style."
If Adrian had no sympathy or regret for what he had done in the past, he would not have done what he did for Simon at the end. He would have simply turned him over to be tortured.
Now, whether or not he actually gave Simon the means to end his own life, or prepare himself for cryo stasis, (both of which require a carefully set number and measurement of injections) that is what I wanted the reader to determine for themselves.
Either way, Adrian was merciful in the end.
>Sorry kiddies, but I don't think the "epilogue" should be considered an alternate ending.
It is definitely not an 'alternate ending'.
As for the rest of your theories, and questions, well, I don't really want to comment as the Epilogue will answer them all.
If Adrian had no sympathy or regret for what he had done in the past, he would not have done what he did for Simon at the end. He would have simply turned him over to be tortured.
Now, whether or not he actually gave Simon the means to end his own life, or prepare himself for cryo stasis, (both of which require a carefully set number and measurement of injections) that is what I wanted the reader to determine for themselves.
Either way, Adrian was merciful in the end.
>Sorry kiddies, but I don't think the "epilogue" should be considered an alternate ending.
It is definitely not an 'alternate ending'.
As for the rest of your theories, and questions, well, I don't really want to comment as the Epilogue will answer them all.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 18:17
Leiasky,
Awesome work here, brilliant characterizations. Though it is kinda cool that people can take the end as they want, I'd like to see the epilogue for the same reason that I like watching widescreen films, I really want to see what the artist (yes, Leiasky, you definately rank as an artist) had in mind. Not seeing the epilogue, no matter what I hope or do not hope happens be like only seeing part of a movie, yeah it's nice and all but it is not the whole picture.
Just my 2 cents
Awesome work here, brilliant characterizations. Though it is kinda cool that people can take the end as they want, I'd like to see the epilogue for the same reason that I like watching widescreen films, I really want to see what the artist (yes, Leiasky, you definately rank as an artist) had in mind. Not seeing the epilogue, no matter what I hope or do not hope happens be like only seeing part of a movie, yeah it's nice and all but it is not the whole picture.
Just my 2 cents
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 18:21
P.S. the previous anonymous post was mine. Again, excellent work.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 18:25
You *better* give us a happy epilogue, there nothing and I mean *NOTHING* I hate more than stories that ends in death. I'll refuse to archive this otherwise wonderfull story unless there's a happy epilogue to it!!! Gyaaaah, I need some fluff now, something to cheer me up. You just made me read a bad ending. I *hate* bad endings. HATE!!!
~ misskitten
~ misskitten
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 18:35
>I'll refuse to archive this otherwise wonderfull story unless there's a happy epilogue to it!!!
You're lucky its already written or I would probably rebel and not post it just because of that comment.
I like a story to evoke some kind of emotion in its readers (whether it be hate, love, tears, anguish). It's rare that I write one myself (tending to prefer much happier/ fluffier/ smuttier stories) but when I do manage to write something with a plot, I feel that it was a success if it affected someone emotionally.
You're lucky its already written or I would probably rebel and not post it just because of that comment.
I like a story to evoke some kind of emotion in its readers (whether it be hate, love, tears, anguish). It's rare that I write one myself (tending to prefer much happier/ fluffier/ smuttier stories) but when I do manage to write something with a plot, I feel that it was a success if it affected someone emotionally.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 19:10
*sobbing*
Okay, you KNOW I love this fic...right up until the angsty parts, which are well-written, but devastating.
Yeah, post the epilogue IF it's happy. Otherwise, just get to work on something smutty and fluffy and plotless to make up for traumatizing us...and Simon and Kaylee!
Okay, you KNOW I love this fic...right up until the angsty parts, which are well-written, but devastating.
Yeah, post the epilogue IF it's happy. Otherwise, just get to work on something smutty and fluffy and plotless to make up for traumatizing us...and Simon and Kaylee!
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 19:20
Alright!!
Do you know how much work I haven't gotten done because I am constantly checking for the next installment. I loved that you posted almost two a day.
Now this. I tried writing fanfic. The only outcome I got was frustration. Please don't leave it like this...I beg you!!
I'm sorry, I now have to go and cry and put more things off at work.
Do you know how much work I haven't gotten done because I am constantly checking for the next installment. I loved that you posted almost two a day.
Now this. I tried writing fanfic. The only outcome I got was frustration. Please don't leave it like this...I beg you!!
I'm sorry, I now have to go and cry and put more things off at work.
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 19:40
I loved this entire series! Each chapter just left you hungry for more. Count me in as one who would like to read the Epilogue, happy or not.
It would be like watching the "alternate ending" on a DVD. :)
It would be like watching the "alternate ending" on a DVD. :)
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 08 March 2006 20:13
Reply to Leia's reply to my comment:
I have exactly two rules that applies on archiving stories. One is no break-up ending, the second is no death-ending. I can take angst, whole lot of it, I love angst stories even, but if it only gets worse and worse and in the end ends badly... I can't take it anymore. I leave the story feeling depressed. (It's happened before that it's gotten to a point where I just can't dare to read on.) You know I love this story, but if the ending was Simon dying. I just wouldn't be able to take it. I respect your artistry in the decision, but it would devastate me.
~ misskitten
I have exactly two rules that applies on archiving stories. One is no break-up ending, the second is no death-ending. I can take angst, whole lot of it, I love angst stories even, but if it only gets worse and worse and in the end ends badly... I can't take it anymore. I leave the story feeling depressed. (It's happened before that it's gotten to a point where I just can't dare to read on.) You know I love this story, but if the ending was Simon dying. I just wouldn't be able to take it. I respect your artistry in the decision, but it would devastate me.
~ misskitten
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 09 March 2006 00:27
Okay, as Leiasky doesn't seem to mind theoretical guesses - I find this so much fun! - here's mine.
The boxes are cryo boxes containing the all the children/prodigies who have completed the Academy's, uh, courses. One of 'em is River's. Bai is giving Simon the chance to take River's place in one of them. If Simon agrees, he injects the drugs into himself in the proper order, thereby suspending cardiac, etc etc functions and Bai drops him into a box. If he doesn't agree he injects the drugs in an improper order, killing himself.
Bai, having finally had a chance to confront his anger at the Tams, finds himself heartsick at all that he's done over the years. His intention is to bring down the government, and this will probably involve River & Company helping him out.
It's by no means certain that he will succeed, that Simon will ever see freedom, or that River won't be recaptured. If he succeeds, the government that exists then may decide to kill the inhabitants of the boxes without opening the boxes, on the basis that the inhabitants may be too dangerous to be allowed to wander freely/unfreely.
That Simon has been taken to this place indicates to me that in this universe he's on the list of prodigy's they'd like to experiment on. So if River gets recaptured or Bai's ruse is found out, he may find himself a student at the Academy.
So many if's. What I do find certain is that no matter how you look at it, the worst that could happen to Simon isn't that he's dead, but that he suffers the fate of the undead and is kept forever in a cryo box as generations of governments try to decide what to do with the Prodigies. It's always easier to do nothing than to be ruthlessly kind.
And there's my own personal what-if; what if the embyo implantation never 'took' on Alexandra Bai. What if Simon Tam actually IS Adrian and Alexander's child? What would Adrian do if he learnt this?
And is Kaylee pregnant?
Nice story!
The boxes are cryo boxes containing the all the children/prodigies who have completed the Academy's, uh, courses. One of 'em is River's. Bai is giving Simon the chance to take River's place in one of them. If Simon agrees, he injects the drugs into himself in the proper order, thereby suspending cardiac, etc etc functions and Bai drops him into a box. If he doesn't agree he injects the drugs in an improper order, killing himself.
Bai, having finally had a chance to confront his anger at the Tams, finds himself heartsick at all that he's done over the years. His intention is to bring down the government, and this will probably involve River & Company helping him out.
It's by no means certain that he will succeed, that Simon will ever see freedom, or that River won't be recaptured. If he succeeds, the government that exists then may decide to kill the inhabitants of the boxes without opening the boxes, on the basis that the inhabitants may be too dangerous to be allowed to wander freely/unfreely.
That Simon has been taken to this place indicates to me that in this universe he's on the list of prodigy's they'd like to experiment on. So if River gets recaptured or Bai's ruse is found out, he may find himself a student at the Academy.
So many if's. What I do find certain is that no matter how you look at it, the worst that could happen to Simon isn't that he's dead, but that he suffers the fate of the undead and is kept forever in a cryo box as generations of governments try to decide what to do with the Prodigies. It's always easier to do nothing than to be ruthlessly kind.
And there's my own personal what-if; what if the embyo implantation never 'took' on Alexandra Bai. What if Simon Tam actually IS Adrian and Alexander's child? What would Adrian do if he learnt this?
And is Kaylee pregnant?
Nice story!
Thursday, 09 March 2006 00:32
A great conclusion, ambigious and leaving me wanting more! :D
Thursday, 09 March 2006 00:47
Ok, so some of the questions/theories I'll answer...
>And is Kaylee pregnant?
Absolutely not. 500 years in the future, oopses don't happen very frequently. Contraceptive injections are the norm and Simon IS a doctor. He knows better. My opinion, but, there it is:)
>what if the embyo implantation never 'took' on Alexandra Bai. What if Simon Tam actually IS Adrian and Alexander's child?
Would be a nice twist but no.
Very interesting theories otherwise. I've been plotting to see if I want to write another part to this story but we'll see. Long stories like this take a lot out of me.
I have a series of other stories I've been working on that are more along the lines of FrellingBlonde's S/K stories and are not nearly as angsty.
>And is Kaylee pregnant?
Absolutely not. 500 years in the future, oopses don't happen very frequently. Contraceptive injections are the norm and Simon IS a doctor. He knows better. My opinion, but, there it is:)
>what if the embyo implantation never 'took' on Alexandra Bai. What if Simon Tam actually IS Adrian and Alexander's child?
Would be a nice twist but no.
Very interesting theories otherwise. I've been plotting to see if I want to write another part to this story but we'll see. Long stories like this take a lot out of me.
I have a series of other stories I've been working on that are more along the lines of FrellingBlonde's S/K stories and are not nearly as angsty.
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 09 March 2006 01:20
Contraceptive injections may be the norm on Core worlds, but they won't be on the Rim. And while contraceptives are effective, they're not 100% effective.
I like the possibility in an Eastern way, with Simon's potentially eternal placement into a cryo box, that he's removing himself from his family in every sense as they are reincarnated into their next lives as they die. He risks his soul being forever removed from them. But in a very Western sense he lives on with them by fathering a child with Kaylee.
If you do another series, I'll definitely want to read it. Love the angst.
I like the possibility in an Eastern way, with Simon's potentially eternal placement into a cryo box, that he's removing himself from his family in every sense as they are reincarnated into their next lives as they die. He risks his soul being forever removed from them. But in a very Western sense he lives on with them by fathering a child with Kaylee.
If you do another series, I'll definitely want to read it. Love the angst.
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 09 March 2006 02:36
"I've been plotting to see if I want to write another part to this story but we'll see. Long stories like this take a lot out of me."
That may be true, but you're so VERY prett... er... GOOD at them.
Thank you for bringing new material to the 'verse (even indeed especially if it is AU or speculation)
That may be true, but you're so VERY prett... er... GOOD at them.
Thank you for bringing new material to the 'verse (even indeed especially if it is AU or speculation)
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 05:41
At first I was all ARRGH CURSE YOUR INEVITABLE BETRAIL, then I was all, wait government issue... Boxes?!? Injections?!?!? CRYO STAYSIS THANK YOU BUDDHA *Erases from the top of his list Kill Leiasky* Just kidding, but really, why oh why oh WHY would you do this to us?? Killing Simon... just not cosher...
ANONYMOUS
Monday, 10 April 2006 12:01
Hello there,
I don't know if this will be read by anyone, since this story was written a while ago - by this sites standards anyway. But I have to say, I loved this series. For someone who doesn't write "angst" often, you're really good at it.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't care how much it takes out of you, keep writing like this...if not a continuation of this. Please (smiles sweetly)
Just one question though: Why didn't the crew just kill Adrian and his guards and fly away after he had ordered the landlock lifted. I mean, I get why Simon didn't consider this option - he was too busy being all noble and self-sacrificing and it would have made for a great excuse for Adrian not seeing it coming - but you would think that Mal or Zoe, hell, even Jayne would have thought to themselves, "Well, the landlock has been lifted and Simon is still on board. Simon is useful and I've gotten kinda fond of having him around, while this Adrian idiot almost killed River. Oh hey! (light bulb moment) we could take off now, shoot Adrian in the face and throw him and his goons out the airlock, leave his wife and Regan on the next rock over, then get on with our dangerous theivin' lives not minus the only doctor we have."
Just a thought.
Great job though. "Gets my Oscar nod"
I don't know if this will be read by anyone, since this story was written a while ago - by this sites standards anyway. But I have to say, I loved this series. For someone who doesn't write "angst" often, you're really good at it.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't care how much it takes out of you, keep writing like this...if not a continuation of this. Please (smiles sweetly)
Just one question though: Why didn't the crew just kill Adrian and his guards and fly away after he had ordered the landlock lifted. I mean, I get why Simon didn't consider this option - he was too busy being all noble and self-sacrificing and it would have made for a great excuse for Adrian not seeing it coming - but you would think that Mal or Zoe, hell, even Jayne would have thought to themselves, "Well, the landlock has been lifted and Simon is still on board. Simon is useful and I've gotten kinda fond of having him around, while this Adrian idiot almost killed River. Oh hey! (light bulb moment) we could take off now, shoot Adrian in the face and throw him and his goons out the airlock, leave his wife and Regan on the next rock over, then get on with our dangerous theivin' lives not minus the only doctor we have."
Just a thought.
Great job though. "Gets my Oscar nod"
Friday, 26 May 2006 17:26
In my mind he still has hope, still wants to get out, so he made a similar concoction to make him appear dead until the opportune moment, maybe even arming another syringe with something to incapacitate the interviewer.
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