Author's note: The language and subject matter are a little more mature here than in the previous story, but still a long shot from anything inappropriate.

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It may be said that misery loves company, but what it truly enjoys is an audience. An audience brings out the full bouquet of misery, adding depth and dimension to that which is otherwise simply uncomfortable.

"Hey doc! You gettin' any with the little mechanic yet?"

"What? No! I'm not going to discuss this with you!"

"No? So yer still in the Joo Fuen Chse then. That's good. I been thinkin' of takin' it upon myself to console the young miss myself, if you know what I mean."

Jayne had learned in his life to raise lechery and its accompanying skills to a fine art. Thus, when he uttered the word 'console', it was with a leer that would have made a Santo pimp blush red to his ears. It had the desired effect.

"No, you will never in a thousand years even think of laying your hands on her!" Simon was going from nettled to furious.

"Ah, what kind of say do you got in anymore." Jayne taunted smugly.

"I happen to know that she'll never abase herself to the point of... of... you!" Simon stammered, finishing lamely as words deserted him in his fury.

"Oh, so all of a sudden you know what I what now?" a soprano voice cut in from behind him, and his fury turned to icy despair.

"Kaylee, please," he pleaded, "I'm so sorry. I just-"

"Naaah, don't want to hear it. I'm just here to get the company of a man who don't always think people's beneath him." she looked Jayne up and down theatrically. "You look like what I'm needin'. You comin'?"

"Hell, yeah." Jayne said, clearly not about to let an god-sent opportunity like this go to waste.

"God, no! Kaylee, you can't-"

"Oh, no you don't!" Kaylee cut him off again, this time in voice only a few degrees warmer than the area beyond Serenity's hull. "You don't never get to tell me what to do! You gave that up when you showed what you th